How is your day going?

@Catherine21 it is strange you have not got the letter yet. i was very frightened but at the end was not awful.. now i am worse off. apparently the unaccounted for from esa is not so in universal credit. it is not by a lot but is not the same money. i will keep an eye next month. i did it pretty quickly after getting the letter as i wanted out of my chest… i am not sure but if you are getting paid i would wait… but yes until you see the universal credit people it is very distressing.. but it is not an assessment. once you get the letter you open an universal credit account rather a very few questions and them you will get the appointment. if you got esa before you will probably get some together with universal credit. universal credit is one payment and new style esa the new name for the new esa you will get comes in two payments. but i would probably wait … as long as you are still getting paid. you will eventually get it. if you get pip that comes apart a different payment. you will be ok. but i understand you i just can not stop worrying. always worrying about losing them or the system cutting them etc..

i will try once more

@Catherine21 it is strange you have not got the letter yet. i was very frightened but at the end was not awful.. now i am worse off. apparently the unaccounted for from esa is not so in universal credit. it is not by a lot but is not the same money. i will keep an eye next month. i did it pretty quickly after getting the letter as i wanted out of my chest… i am not sure but if you are getting paid i would wait… but yes until you see the universal credit people it is very distressing.. but it is not an assessment. once you get the letter you open an universal credit account rather a very few questions and them you will get the appointment. if you got esa before you will probably get some together with universal credit. universal credit is one payment and new style esa the new name for the new esa you will get comes in two payments. but i would probably wait … as long as you are still getting paid. you will eventually get it. if you get pip that comes apart a different payment. you will be ok. but i understand you i just can not stop worrying. always worrying about losing them or the system cutting them etc..

it is saved. so i hope i will be able to send it at some point.. i am into the habit of saving it befiore send it as i tend to write long messages sometimes.. now the system decides for some reason they do not like what i write. this is honestly very distressing. anyway..

scope truly need to sort out the message system. honestly i do not know what is wrong with my message … i am giving up. really. so distressing. even when it is about giving moral support ….. why

@Catherine21 it is strange you have not got the letter yet. i was very frightened but at the end was not awful.. now i am worse off. apparently the unaccounted for from esa is not so in universal credit. it is not by a lot but is not the same money. i will keep an eye next month. i did it pretty quickly after getting the letter as i wanted out of my chest… i am not sure but if you are getting paid i would wait… but yes until you see the universal credit people it is very distressing.. but it is not an assessment. once you get the letter you open an universal credit account rather a very few questions and them you will get the appointment. if you got esa before you will probably get some together with universal credit. universal credit is one payment and new style esa the new name for the new esa you will get comes in two payments. but i would probably wait … as long as you are still getting paid. you will eventually get it. if you get pip that comes apart a different payment. you will be ok. but i understand you i just can not stop worrying. always worrying about losing them or the system cutting them etc..

I was having a good day until I saw Christmas decorations in B and M and mince pies in Morrisons

Benefit of the doubt on the mince pies but an aisle dedicated to Christmas in B & M 😫

It's August FGS

evening all, been a busy day.

Deep clean on the bathroom, watered the plants outside and organised some rubbish.

Just feeling really low, really want to go abroad in the next few years, but the cost of travel insurance due to the multiple health conditions I have is just pricing me out of it 😔 just gonna have to either stay in the flat, even travelling in and around the uk can cost as much as going abroad. Think it’s best I just give up that idea and concentrate on making my flat as good as it can be, get a reputable decorator in to do the decorating. Can safely say mental health suck’s!

living with Emotionally Unstable Borderline Personality Disorder alongside ADHD, Autism, Depression and Anxiety is brutal, I honestly don’t know who I am half the time, what my purpose in life is and what I’ve got left to contribute to the world.

I stay away from any forms of groups due to me not being able to cope with them, been a long standing issue since I was a kid. I do better in one to one situations, but this year I’ve had to cut off all contact with friends. I got fed up of always being the one to ask they were doing or even social media is to hard. I attempted reconnecting the other week and ended up having a panic attack.

I’ve got a four foot **** of flags to the left of my front door, got to separate a couple of whiskey barrels with a hammer. Then just pot everything up. It’s a career I miss, working as a gardener for ten years was always great for my mood. But on the other side my ability to go hiking and camping was a release for me, sadly can’t do that either now.