How is your day going?

I am trying to skip messages related to benefits.. there is a lot of scaremongering to make people feel very scared. ... It keeps happening...if I get a letter I deal with it. But media wants us to be scared.

I am scared about everything but I have worried too much in the past and it did not happen. It is better not to worry . And I know it is hard writing this while my heart is racing…

I wsnt to cut completly but I am better than before as it was very bad.

@Catherine21 i am in a way volunteering … but it is only for a few hours on mondays wednesdays and fridays . i am a volunteer and member at the same time. on thursdays i am a member of another place.. so i am trying to go out and meet people. but today left me really bad. i am a very kind person but sometimes i overreact.. but i feel i am over doing it.. too much . but the feeling of the uncertain is worse. so i do not know what to do really.

@Catherine21

considering cutting off caffeine as well… that is another thing. maybe caffeine free stuff. i hope tomorrow i will feel better, now i regret the situation and i would probably let it go if it happens again. and do nothing but it is now too late. anyway.. i am waiting for the time to go to bed. maybe a film or two and bed time. but i completely lost my appetite.

@Albus_Scope with my ptsd from my previous job i do not really want to do anything similar to that job.. it will have to be something very quiet. but i am considering to do something. i need to be diagnosed properly.. i am sure i have autism and ptsd and adhd but only diagnosed as anxiety and depression. i am finally got a referral to the anxiety clinic . i hope they accept me.. and i can try to start treatment and it works. and maybe the find out if i have something else other that anxiety and depression that i am sure i have. i think nobody will want to hire me. as i have too many issues mentally and physically but also visually. i have mentioned before i have nf1 .not many companies will accept me.. maybe one that deals with similar people. i will see.. my friend says she could not be in my situation relying on the system etc.. and i can not blame her it is so distressing. my resolution is really find something i can do. maybe part time. maybe only one day a week. or two and move to more days little by little.

i am thinking about museums etc.. one of those where people are sitting down checking people are not touching the paintings etc… maybe a shop art related or the museums shops. it has to be something art related as i am a bit knowledgeable .all my volunteering is on that field. but maybe also helping people with benefits etc.. i like helping people. even though i sometimes lose my temper like today and normally it does not happen. but when it happens….. well it is done now.

but to be honest i am willing to try my hand in any possible job in the future etc.. but it is so hard at the same time. anyway. i used to be able to read one book after another one.. now it gets harder… but i will check that book….

night night. until tomorrow. i really hope tomorrow i will feel better…….

Me too.

I cannot concentrate on long reims of repetitive copy and paste and its dragging me right down, so I'm going to wait for official announcements to be made.