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Storytellers Required: Isolation at Christmas Time

Pippa_AlumniPippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,851 Disability Gamechanger
edited October 2017 in News and opportunities
Christmas can be an incredibly challenging time for disabled people and their families, with many people reporting feeling particularly lonely and isolated. Do you have a story about your own experiences that you'd like to share? Scope are currently looking for storytellers from Oxford who have experienced isolation at Christmas time, to put together a piece similar to this blog post about loneliness.

If you're from Oxford, have a story you would like to be heard and are happy to share your experiences with others, please get in touch directly by emailing [email protected] Thank you!

Replies

  • BoychrisBoychris Member Posts: 19 Connected
    I can never forget some of the Christmas's i have spent totally alone, no cards , presents, no decorations not even a Christmas dinner, i stayed in bed all day no one to talk too, no TV. not one person called to see how i was.
    I have many Christmas's like it,
     I live with my carer now we spend Christmas day alone, Her family call her, just to wish her a merry Christmas, but we are still alone, with our own company. She has  a son 13 miles away with her granddaughter i watch her face when she is not aloud to spend time with her, with the exception to 2 hours in the company of her son once every 6 to eight weeks, or more
    Loneliness .is a problem for the sick, disabled and the elderly i know, but to be truthful i think it is a lack of compassion, some people need a reality check and should think of others. 
    Where i live now my carer and i have not spoken to any other person whom lives on this estate for the past 10 months , not one person here as knocked on the door to inquire if we are ok, need anything or even to pass the time of day, i could be sitting outside my front door and still no one bothers to talk say hallow.
    As a nation we often wander why so many people many elderly or disabled are found Dead in their own homes some weeks or months later from the day they past.
    As a country We all should be ashamed of ourselves, we have no empathy in the way in which the disabled, the sick and the elderly are treated, We are all full of self reliance, our own importance, our on wealth,and grandeur. Trying to get one up on the person whom may lift next door or across the road, we have a do not care less attitude, for others in the community, unless when it comes to Benefits 
    and pensions free tv licences that everyone has suddenly found their voices and wont to have their say, on what we should be aloud to claim for. 
    So yes i feel totally isolated although i have a carer whom i thank her with the hole of my heart, that she has given me a home, but both of us me 63 Her 75 we are alone, we get no invites, so Christmas is just another day that will go by, like the rest.
     
  • minibelle71minibelle71 Member Posts: 17 Connected
    Christmas...

    W
    idowed mum of 3 - two boys aged 14 & 11, one of which belongs to my late husband.. therefore no daddy.  Youngest is my daughter aged 9 going on 18 :-/

    Before pain & depression ruled my life, I had a great parttime job, responsibilities, respected by my peers & had lots of friends.

    After final spine fusion surgery which unfortunately failed to help with chronic pain in 2014, I found myself gradually withdrawing from society, partly due to anxiety (also suffer from cranial hyperhidrosis - excessive sweating from the head/face only) the sweating constantly & of course the pain.  

    To look at me you’d see a slim woman in her late 40’s that apparently looks a lot younger - nothing visible.  If only they knew.

    so Christmas...   The buildups, TV ads & movies, the now distant friends I see on Facebook etc..  everyone excited, can’t wait.. isn’t it fantastic etc etc.

    No.  Its not.  I hate it.. dread it.  Wonder how on earth am gonna make it through the day pretending I’m enjoying it for the sake of my children.  All I feel is pain.  Inside I’m numb emotionally.  

    I post obligatory pics on Facebook for my mum to see (she lives 500+ miles away) - & I see the traditional ‘families’ with the photos of laughter, drinks with relatives or friends.  The Christmas dinner events.  Each time a little bit more of me dies inside.  The distinct lack of hope that next year may be different - the little voice that says “who are you kidding - noone wants a disabled mentally battered partner with 3 kids”  

    Christmas = roll on 26th December 





    Gayle  xx
  • ClydeBuiltClydeBuilt Member Posts: 41 Connected
    You DONT want mine inside your head Pips!
    Were I to write it all down from birth till now you would never believe me!
  • minibelle71minibelle71 Member Posts: 17 Connected

    Sounds interesting @ClydeBuilt  often think noone would believe mine either!!  Worse than novels 
    Gayle  xx
  • BoychrisBoychris Member Posts: 19 Connected
    i echo what minibelle71 said sounds interesting, perhaps we need to put our full stories out there you never know someone might wont to put one of us on film, and end up with a soap opera like Eastenders.  

  • CandyflossCandyfloss Member Posts: 34 Listener
    I can only say that if I knew someone like you in my community ,I would make a point of being friendly then eventually asking if You need any help.I have a lovely neighbour who I hadn't seen out and about I dreaded asking her husband how  I hadn't seen her for awhile only to bump into her on the bus .we hugged  and laughed about it as she thought the same as me .I worked in a care home and loved the residents telling their stories of when they were young.It is such a sad state of affairs that what boy Chris has been saying is very true.
  • ClydeBuiltClydeBuilt Member Posts: 41 Connected
    Okay.....give me a chance MiniBelle and Ill try to put it down.
    Does thise site let us do personal message?
    I dont want my life on public view, sharing with another as an aid to helo with your own demons, I can do>
  • minibelle71minibelle71 Member Posts: 17 Connected
    @ClydeBuilt

    Hey hun, I’m not sure? Perhaps a Moderator can help us? Some sites u can inbox personal messages yes but not sure how on this one?   Any help @PippaScope

    Ta muchly x
    Gayle  xx
  • AlexAlex Scope Posts: 1,324 Pioneering

    Yes - you can private message - click on the second icon under your name (on the right hand side) and click new message.
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