Our Son is nine and Autistic. My husband is ...

woodstock1969
woodstock1969 Community Member Posts: 9 Listener
edited April 8 in Families and carers

Our Son is nine and Autistic. My husband is very bothered by what others think when our Son is lashing out or behaving in ways that at best seem unusual and at worse could be very dangerous because of problems communicating or Sensory processing difficulties. Any advice?

Tagged:

Comments

  • Mary_Scope
    Mary_Scope Posts: 4,888 Scope Online Community Children and Family Specialists

    Hi @woodstock1969 and a warm welcome to the community from me!

    It can be quite hard to get out of the mindset of worrying what others may think about and our loved ones. Especially if is something that your partner has always done.

    It may be helpful to remind him or for him to remind himself that during a meltdown, your son’s brain is experiencing a sensory or communication overload similar to a medical emergency. For example, if your son were having a physical seizure, your husband may likely feel protective and less likely to care what people may think.

    I think Emilee has given some brilliant advice above and it sounds like it would be really beneficial to have a conversation with your partner about why he does feel very strongly about this😊

  • woodstock1969
    woodstock1969 Community Member Posts: 9 Listener

    Thank you, My husband wants to find peer or parent support groups but this is difficult due to the times they’re held as he works full time

  • woodstock1969
    woodstock1969 Community Member Posts: 9 Listener

    Your advice is very helpful thank you

  • SheffieldMan1976
    SheffieldMan1976 Posts: 2,319 Connected
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1115875#Comment_1115875

    Not sure if it's anywhere near you but my Parents used to attend https://sheffield-aspergers.org.uk/ a group in Sheffield called SAPAG (Sheffield Asperger's Parents Action Group) based in Town.

  • SheffieldMan1976
    SheffieldMan1976 Posts: 2,319 Connected
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/145300/our-son-is-nine-and-autistic-my-husband-is

    With respect it sounds like it's your husband's problem and NOT your lad's, hubby needs to realise the lad can't help his reactions to stuff.

  • Mary_Scope
    Mary_Scope Posts: 4,888 Scope Online Community Children and Family Specialists

    It is not a problem @woodstock1969, I am glad it is helpful.

    This is understandable, quite a lot of time support group tend to be during working day unfortunately. But it is good that he seems to be open to reaching out for help and support though.

    Contact have a Listening Ear service which is great service for parents and carers of disabled children looking for emotional support. He will be able to talk to the adviser about how you are feeling and get some support for yourself. They have slots during the day but it may be easier for your husband to work around these times with work if you think that is something he may be interested in.

    There is also the UK Autism Spectrum Parents Support Group on facebook that I have heard great things about😊

  • StarryEyed
    StarryEyed Community Member Posts: 1,438 Championing

    Hi Woodstock. Further to the helpful suggestions so far, perhaps online support for your husband may be an option that wouldn't interfere with his work schedule? I plugged in "online support for autistic parents" and a lot of options showed up that you might want to consider. Perhaps others could vouch for something here, as I personally don't have any experience with autism....

    1000058171.jpg 1000058173.jpg
  • woodstock1969
    woodstock1969 Community Member Posts: 9 Listener

    Thank you

  • StarryEyed
    StarryEyed Community Member Posts: 1,438 Championing

    @Mary_Scope I was replying at the same time as you. Sorry if I overstepped myself. Also, it occurred to me shortly after posting that posting healthcare support information (or any serious information) based on an AI search may be a bad idea as it could be incorrect, as another Scope staff member recently posted in regards to benefits information. So I won't do it again. My apologies. 🙏🏼

    Woodstock, please bear this in mind if you use the info in my post.

  • woodstock1969
    woodstock1969 Community Member Posts: 9 Listener

    No worries

  • Mary_Scope
    Mary_Scope Posts: 4,888 Scope Online Community Children and Family Specialists

    You didn't overstep at all @StarryEyed, please don't worry. It's always so lovely seeing members supporting each other!

  • woodstock1969
    woodstock1969 Community Member Posts: 9 Listener

    😀

  • StarryEyed
    StarryEyed Community Member Posts: 1,438 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1116059#Comment_1116059

    🙏🏼🥰

  • Rolaliton228
    Rolaliton228 Community Member Posts: 12 Listener

    I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s incredibly tough when you’re trying to support your son while also managing your husband’s worries about public perception. Many parents find that focusing on 'sensory safety' over 'social norms' helps lower the stress. Remind your husband that your son isn't being 'difficult' on purpose - he’s just struggling to process the world

Categories