Is it ok for a guy to want to hook up with a girl that is mentally a teenager?
Or is it frowned upon? Because of a cognitive impairment of borderline intellectual functioning and autism if she is really 30 but is mentally a teenager why would some guys be hesitant to hook up with a girl like that even if she can consent to sex? The disability is borderline intellectual functioning and autism. What are your thoughts?
Comments
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Nope.
They don't have the emotional ability to handle a serious relationship for a start.
And if you ahem go there (have sex) with someone in that situation, some people could argue it's without consent because the girl doesn't have emotional maturity to say yes or no.
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Illegal? Probably not. Frowned upon? Most certainly.
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how is it frowned upon? What if they want sex like everyone else?
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how is it frowned upon?
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What if she passes the sexual consent test by a doctor and they doctor says she can consent to sex? Then what?
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You asked whether it was frowned upon. I think you already know the answer to that.
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It's more about whether the person has the mental capacity to both consent and understand things properly. While someone might be over the physical age of consent, it's important that they understand what it means to be in a sexual relationship with someone and what the consequences of that might be. By that I mean pregnancy, infections, social and relationship issues and things like that.
If it is an unbalanced relationship where one person has a significantly different level of understanding or disability than the other, that can become a safeguarding concern as it can lead to coercive or abusive situations. While they may be able to consent, they may not understand the nuances of things and could find themselves being taken advantage of. So if this is the case, that would be a concern.
Mencap have some useful resources for people with learning disabilities exploring sex and relationships in case that's helpful:
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Nope I don’t know the answer to that. What if they are high functioning? Can’t they have sexual relationships like everyone else?
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Yeah but just because she has a disability doesn’t mean she will be taken advantage of. She understands relationships so you are saying not every guy will take advantage of her? What if she wants sex?
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No, and it can be different for every person as everyone will have a different experience with their disability. If she's capable of informed consent and understands things well, there's no reason why she shouldn't have a fulfilling sex life with whoever she chooses.
It's just a point to consider that there aren't any power imbalances or other issues involved that could put her in a vulnerable position or cause a safeguarding concern. Not every disabled person is vulnerable or at risk. Again - it's different from person to person. If she's capable of advocating for herself and staying safe, it will be totally her choice.
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Yes you are right so why do some people against it, ghost them and ignore their texts when they find out she’s disabled? Why can’t they know they can have sexual relations like everyone else?
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Ok thank you but why are some guys hesitant to hook up with a girl with Mild Intellectual disability and ghost her when they sense she has it when they should know they deserve a sex life like anyone else? They won’t be taken advantage of. They know what they are getting into. What are your thoughts?
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Pehaps they feel it’s best to not engage in sexual activity due to her disabilty. Their personal choice. I think most people are concerned with the emotional impact. It isn’t just a physical act.
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I humbly apologise but anyone who Ghosts another person simply because they're disabled seriously needs to have a word with themselves IMO.
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Yes you are right! Why do they need to have a word with themselves?
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Yes you are right! How come? Can you explain it to me?
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Yeah how come?
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Why indulge this member?
If he's not happy with her parent/carer decisions, that's who he should speak to. What we think is irrelevant!
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Me neither Tosha (Hope you don't mind me calling you that?)
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I read it as a guy. High-functioning but mentally a teenager makes no sense!
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