Preparing to Die - Page 2 — Scope | Disability forum

Preparing to Die

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  • [Deleted User]
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  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you Victoriad, will try some soup.
    my appeal was headed on Monday if this week, it was so stressful and harrowing, emotionally, I can’t even remember what was asked etc, I could hardly talk. 
    The doctor was very cold but the “ judge” was a nice lady
    thank you again x
  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    Sorry for the typos!! Heads all confused
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,390 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @susan48 Good Afternoon I see you have been speaking to my good friend @Victoriad .  Given you lots of advice.

    First thing is to decide what is top priority.  Make a list, I know this is hard and not easy.

    My concern is you I had so many appeals just I do know you start worrying and the anxiety.

    Anxiety in your head goes around spinning what if and how if and why.  I had all this in my head.  Which effected mental state so much.

    I was assessed and reassessed every 18 months or so for twenty years plus on all my benefits, especially ESA.  So I had to cope.

    You have plenty of options man recon as they call it.  Supply more information.

    Seek support of SCOPE.  Welfare rights, CAB all available as back up.

    You could appoint an advocate to oversee your benefits, sort out if the decision is wrong.  To speak to for you.

    My big issue is that at the moment is your health.  I agree it takes to long.  This is not helping.

    As for life insurance consider you bank or financial institution.  A lot of them have branches dealing with life insurance. Halifax, Scottish Widows.  Try and find out.  They want your business.

    I hope any of this helps

    Take care
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
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  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you spiceman.
    your so right in the anxiety and overthinking. Can’t seem to stop it. I feel sick so no appetite, Iv list nearly a stone in 5 weeks. 
    Im not sure what an Advocate is!! 
    I will look on my banks website on life Insurance but with my mental health problems I’m not sure, was declined the past 2years when an insurance broker looked at it for me.

    Scopes website is a lifeline to me and lots out there so I’m thanking you all for your time and kindness 


  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,390 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @susan48 Thank you for replying.  An advocate is a person who is nominated by you. To speak on your behalf.  It can be arrange of things that are important to you.

    This could some one there for you at meetings of Doctors if you are not getting proper support.  NHS funded services, also benefits.  Could be you are not happy with getting the right answers.

    Power of Attorney is when you are too ill and have problems with dealing with bills and payments, money.  Your care.  The estate have they can manage that on your behalf.

    Insurance Broker is a person who offers a range of policies to suit you.  From suitable companies.  May include Life, Motor, Liability, Pensions, plus other like house contents.  Even odd things you may not think need Insurance but they do. Pets ,Animals, Specific professions like Musicians their hands and fingers play instruments.  Footballers feet and legs.

    All Insurance Brokers offer a policy on risk element.  This is because they have commission to pay to the company.  That supplied the policy.

    Banks and financial Institutions offer a range of services besides money and loans.  Offer subsidy companies have Financial Advisor often on specific days.

    This can include Life Insurance also many other types such as Motor and Home.

    Also please note new markets are the supermarkets opening up.  ASDA and Tesco.  Can offer Life Insurance they have companies that work for them on commission basis.  Good yes with added incentives of the store as a lure.

    I hope you find this helpful.  Please note it is very helpful to have some one who you trust to assist you.

    Please be aware also once you start a plan your choice.  You stop payments plan stopped you do not get money back.

    All plans be aware do go up in line with inflation so .  Please be aware make a judgement .  My plan was £12 a month now three years later £15 a month.  So you can see where that is going.

    I would very carefully make some sensible choices.  Beware plans from some companies are not worth the money paid in.. Regardless of tempting offers, TV and the rest.

    Please can I suggest look at what I have sent you, consider carefully.

    Also may I say what you are going through.  First make that a priority please.

    What is important right now, your health and well being.

    I may add I have genetic disorder and have mental health issues.  Questions about my requirement to be suitable.  I asked Bank through Scottish Widows took me on.

    Yet my father who was a Director of Insurance Broker did not.  When I enquired when I set up business.  Your have a disability plus .  That was then not now.

    Reason was they consider me a risk.  Yet bank took me on.  Why failure of insurance broker because they work as I have said work for a commission.

    Take care

    Am here to listen

    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
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  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks you spiceman,
    i will definitely look at my bank re life Insurance.
    your so knowledgeable.
    as far as the advocate is concerned do I need to register that somewhere? Sorry if that sound like a daft question. My friend comes to doctors, takes me shopping or does shopping etc for me. He ca,e to my tribunal too but they wouldn’t let him talk for me .

    take care too and again, thank you
    susan
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,390 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @susan48 Sorry I did not get back to you.  Missed this I apologise.  Some days doing what I can for all you lovely people.  Who I call as friends.

    I am sorry about your friend not to be able to speak for you.  That is unacceptable.  Mind you I my friend with me one time.  Told him first dragged him into a room, told him in no uncertain terms.  I was shocked open his mouth to utter some thing.

    The looks and stares and attitude from this assessor.

    Please advocates no what it come under is Mental Health Services.  You find them under that  Usually local charities.  Funded.  In the North East I live.  Re-think is the main one.  They all work part time.  Some of the staff understand mental health issues.

    That is because they themselves have conditions like mental health.

    What happens you make an appointment.  They will ask what you require.  My example could apply to you.  Doctors talking to me like 10years old.  Out the door by 7 minutes.  Getting no help mentally.  Writing it down to speak picking up notes making jests and questions me like I am wrong.  Not ounce intelligence.  I am not stupid.

    Appointed advocate went to appointment with support worker.  We got together what to say.  Arrived next appointment two weeks later Doctors told staff who is coming.

    In front of Doctor, Advocate said my name wishes and what needs this and that.  In the end as of now my Doctor best friend.

    Please remember they do not do certain aspect of the job.  No councilling not to run your life for you.

    Wish you the best please ask me anything am here.  I will look out for you

    Take care
    Have a pleasant evening
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
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  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    You an inspiration spiceman.
    i just need the advocate to put into words what I need, as the anxiety is so overwhelming I cannot get the words out.
    the appeal panel for my pip said, they wanted me to talk no matter how long it took. More anxiety!! I asl experience involuntary body movements whilst anxious, so ended up pulling muscles in my neck at the appeal. 
    I feel like I’m rambling about things that make no sense??
    im so tired of everything 

  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    Spiceman, I’m really tired and cannot take in what you have wrote to me.
    i need to take my sleeping tablet and try and rest.
    i will read this again tomorrow 
    i am sorry 

  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    Spiceman Iv read your post again and thanks.
    Since receiving my DWP paper for my appeal for PIP I read on there my SG ESA is to be reviewed in October this year. I had no knowledge of this until I read it.
    If Iv to go through all the appeal procedure again I don’t think I will cope. Will get the PIP decision first then look at finding an advocate.
    Im also waiting on an appointment with Psycology as my doctor has referred me back, was discharged last September due to the psychologist leaving my area.
    probably be another 6 month wait!!! 


  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,390 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @susan48 Thank you for comments kind words.  Only me afraid I apologise.  I write very long posts.  As all my lovely friends do know in the community.

    Understand a lot of what I write is my anxiety, ramble away and use little quotes, quips, jokes not intentionally to ice break.

    Some of my posts are novels, mini dramas with a all star cast, bedtime stories.  I have that effect on you ladies.  Making fall asleep sorry not intentional.

    Try to space out much as I can.  Try to make things clear and simple.

    Ask me anything again if not clear.  Have patience and tolerance and the time.

    Always here to soothe ease and help the pain away.

    Talking helps

    Take care
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
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  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    Sorry spiceman I wasn’t trying to offen by saying I couldn’t take it in, i was exhausted. 
    Your very witty and knowledgeable.
    I’m sure you don’t make the ladies fall asleep.
    talking and really opening up is difficult, Iv been keeping things in for a long time.
    this site and all the people on here, you included help so much, even just reading discussions, help knowing I’m not alone out here.
    Susan
  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,217 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi susan

    ESA is an open ended award, the review dates are not necessarily fixed as are PIP awards.
    The only way to know when an ESA award is to be reviewed is to ring DWP, this will not trigger an early review
    Many reviews are being defered especially SG group as there are backlogs in the sysytem
    So it is good to be aware of the possible review date but be prepared for it not to happen then

    CR
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • Broken
    Broken Member Posts: 43 Courageous
    @CockneyRebel, with a practical view regarding your "To do" list, a Will has to take top priority. I have also made a list (and this is tucked away in a safe place :-)) giving full details of my Bank a/c, computer passwords, utility company contact details and all other relevant information to make it easier to access the necessary companies for example closing of phone accounts etc. If all of this info is kept together, the surviving partner/adult children will not have to search for it as it will be readily available when the time comes. Provided of course, you have informed them where to find this list lol. 
  • CockneyRebel
    CockneyRebel Member Posts: 5,217 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks Broken

    This is exactly what I was getting at. It is never going to be an easy time for the ones left behind. Making the provisions as you have, especially if you are the main decision maker can hep a little

    CR
    Be all you can be, make  every day count. Namaste
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,390 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @susan48 Hope you OK.  Please can I suggest have a look at what you community can help you with.

    I have been doing all sorts of things to improve my life knowledge.  This is just a suggestion.  Have a look around, you find them under Community Services.

    I have done for the past thirty years plus.  I am still learning this has helped me enormously in understand .  My benefits be acutely aware of going on.

    Health and food courses.  Got loads of them qualifications.  Money, budgets and other things like helping with mental health.

    Life is a journey.  I know well being centres up and down country.  Also Recovery Colleges.  These are colleges that deal in Mental Health one day courses.  Funded by Health Trusts.

    I know you have anxiety and other issues.  Courses some are free.

    I have done courses.  How to deal with People, Communications, How to get the best from Mental Health services.

    Please can I say I was nervous and on edge.  Not many guys go.  I was only guy.  Some have courses for the ladies.

    Good to speak to you today.  If I can help let me know.

    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
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  • susan48
    susan48 Member Posts: 2,222 Disability Gamechanger
    Again full of fantastic information spiceman.
    i will look at my local community services to see what is available.
    at my last assessment with psychology, to see what route would best suit me, as from a health professional point of view, she felt a group wouldn’t be appropriate, my involuntary body movements and speech!
    i felt it might help with my social anxiety though.
    maybe when my referral is through I could suggest a group?
    your input is appreciated as making decisions are difficult 
    susan
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Member Posts: 6,390 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @susan48 Thank you for reply.   Please can I ask?  What do want may I ask for yourself.?
    You do have a choice.  To say how you wish to have a life.  I am disabled and have mental health issues.  I do understand.  Just because some one says. A health professional.  I would try to do these things.

    Just because you have certain problems should not stop you from doing anything

    Besides everything changed a lot of the courses are adapted for all sorts of disabilities and mental health problems.

    Also if you go you might meet others like yourself.  I did an several times.

    I lacked confidence still do some days.  Get anxiety and depression.  Like today down day.
    Community Champion
    SCOPE Volunteer Award Engaging Communities 2019
    Mental Health advice, guidance and information to all members
    Nutrition, Diet, Wellbeing, Addiction.
    Recipes

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