Hi, my name is vlismassarah!

hi my name is sarah, I have severe spinal damage..I have had bone spurs growing through my spinal cord and 2 ops to stop me being paralysed, but I'm in constant chronic pain..nerve pain , terrible back and leg pain. I'm on high dose Morphine which makes me v sleepy..it's like a loss like grieving for who I was..I use a stick indoors , thank a God we now have a bungalow. Outside it has to be a wheelchair or scooter.
i feel I'm letting my husband down. 
Im 54 ..have 4 beautiful grandchildren and 3 children..I'm no good for them..I always thought I be a full hands on Nana helping my kids out, but can no longer babysit..
i have lost friends who don't understand as I'm not the old me...
i get v v low,
my faith in Jesus keeps me going, or else I would give up.
im so looking forward to meeting people who understand chronic pain..I'm so so sorry you are all suffering the same and hope in some way I beabl to help others too