Loosing the will to live - Page 3 — Scope | Disability forum
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Loosing the will to live

13

Comments

  • Yadnad
    Yadnad Posts: 2,856 Disability Gamechanger
    You're at the turning point with that statement!! Yes I am trying to get you to 'smell the coffee'. I became a very good liar when asked about how I felt at the time. especially with the medical professionals. 'It's not me that's mad, it's the rest of the blooming world that is!'
    My advice - go see your GP and tell him/her that you are reaching out for help where in the past you were in the denial stage.
    If not, go onto your council website and look for a Councillor close to you. Ring him/her up tomorrow and ask for a chat at your home. Tell him/her that you want help but have no idea of how to ask for it.
    I honestly don't know any Councillor that would not come round to see you. You will be surprised how knowledgeable the person will be. I do it for my residents!
  • cripps
    cripps Community member Posts: 412 Pioneering
    Ok thanks I’ll try it and maybe after all the phone calls i do someone may bite the bullet and help. One thing i haven’t mentioned is I’m at the hospital tomorrow to see if they can help with my bladder that gave up a long time ago when i first had cancer, do you think ? i should say anything to them about how i feel or what for a counciler? 
  • Yadnad
    Yadnad Posts: 2,856 Disability Gamechanger
    What would I do at the stage you are at? If at the hospital you feel comfortable with the person who is seeing you just tell than that you need help for other things. They will ask what other things then you can say what you feel like saying. They may just tell you to go see your GP. Saying that means that they have taken ownership of what you have said and have suggested a way forward for you. As for a Councillor just tell them that you feel awkward in opening up about a health problem. Tell them as little or as much as you feel comfortable with. They too will make a suggestion as to the way forward. If it was me, I would be proactive and suggest that if you want to I would go with you to provide moral support.
  • cripps
    cripps Community member Posts: 412 Pioneering
    I understand i just need to find someone i can trust and move forward. 
  • Yadnad
    Yadnad Posts: 2,856 Disability Gamechanger
    Yes that's right. Just go by your instincts. 
  • sue66
    sue66 Community member Posts: 124 Pioneering
    cripps said:
    Thank you you’re so kind, it’s seems everyone i chat to have best intentions and i really appreciate every word. If you like you can call me NEIL it probably better than cripps. I’ll call the number tomorrow and see if i can get any help because I’ve got to give it a go because as it stands it’s falling apart. I very much appreciate your post, if i may I’ll call you SUE. X
    Yes Neil of course you may call me Sue, let us know how it all goes for you wont you. I have been so depressed i once stuck my head in a gas oven.! Severe post natal depression but that was like 49 yrs ago now. Back then no mobile phones, no home phone, cut off an isolated.  You have been given some real good helpful advice hear,  We all need to feel that someone just cares enough to reach out but they cant if they dont know.   Your social worker let you down miserably, if she didn't feel she could help then should have put you in touch with some one who could. Im sure this time next month things will be looking up for you. 
    Sue 
  • RainbowEyes
    RainbowEyes Community member Posts: 17 Connected
    Cripps, I know right now you probably feel like there's no one out there who can help you and that you have run out of options, but I promise you there IS help out, and people DO care. As difficult as it is you need to keep trying, and have shed loads of patience. I found myself in a similar position to you. Feeling like the 'professionals' were just there to earn money rather than actually proactively help, but eventually you WILL find someone who you click with who will be able to help you. A good place to start is your gp. Can you ring your surgery and say you need to speak to your doctor? Sometimes you can leave a message for your doctor and they phone you back later in the day, or some have 'morning surgery' where you show up and just wait. You need to explain to them how you're feeling about everything. They may suggest going on antidepressants. Are you currently taking any? In the mean time a great place to look is charities. On many occasions when I've felt overwhelmed and need to just 'off load' I've emailed the samaritans. jo@samaritans.org You can email any time and they get back to you in a few days. If you want to talk to someone immediately call 116113. You can phone any time day or night. It's also worth looking up any groups/support near you. Do a google search for 'disabled people [your county]' or 'support [your county]'. If you have a samaritans office near you you can always drop in there and have a face-to-face chat with them. I've used them when I've felt really low and found I left feeling a little lighter. They may even be able to point you in the direction of other services.

    Your everyday activities etc can also help. I know when you're depressed you don't feel like doing much, but having a bit of structure to your day can help. I like to plan my day the night before so I know I won't have too much time to just sit around and mull over my anxieties. I can appreciate it's hard to get out sometimes with a disability, but there are activities you can do at home too. I find if I just give in to the depression and don't eat and lay in bed all day my mind is so much worse. Have regular meal times and schedule activities to do in between. Distraction can help. Cross words, arrow words, films, writing, reading a novel. There are even websites that link up pen pals, so you could receive regular contact from someone who could become a friend. Just do a google search for 'penpal finder'. 

    I know things seem difficult and feel like you're getting nowhere sometimes, but I believe if you push on you WILL see improvements. Stay strong. You can do this!
  • cripps
    cripps Community member Posts: 412 Pioneering
    Hi sue i certainly hope so i want to get to next month so that’s why I’m asking for help now. I’m sorry to hear you went through a really bad patch but glad to hear you’re back and up and running ?‍♀️ But the big question is is why is it people like myself that’s not just disabled but also with mental health issues. It’s all one big roller coaster ride until you fall off and make room for the next person. The thing is the authorities know this but don’t help and don’t show themselves until it’s too late!!!! 
  • cripps
    cripps Community member Posts: 412 Pioneering
    Well I’m back to my roots tomorrow Knutsford Hospital to see if they can sort my bladder out, good luck to them because nobody else has been able to. Maybe I’ll look my ex wife up that ran off when i got cancer, give her a shock to see me still around. ?hi
  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Community member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    @cripps it sounds to me like you may not be on the best meds for you. I would ask for a review of meds. It’s hard to get the balance right. Plus there should be out of hours services or crisis lines where you live who can give you the correcf advice for you and your conditions. Good luck 
  • cripps
    cripps Community member Posts: 412 Pioneering
    Thank you I’ll have a chat with someone tomorrow because these meds will kill me. 
  • cripps
    cripps Community member Posts: 412 Pioneering
    I’ve never tried antidepressants before, they have been offered but I’ve always tried to avoid them, maybe it’s time to rethink my options. 
  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Community member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    Good for you. Lots of people take them and they can make a big difference . 
  • cripps
    cripps Community member Posts: 412 Pioneering
    Do you take them yourself? 
  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Community member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    Yes but I don’t want to talk bout it here it’s private . Thanks 
  • cripps
    cripps Community member Posts: 412 Pioneering
    Ok sorry i was just asking ?
  • cripps
    cripps Community member Posts: 412 Pioneering
    I didn’t mean anything by it. 
  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Community member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    That’s okay you can message me if you want more details 
  • cripps
    cripps Community member Posts: 412 Pioneering
    I’d like to but i don’t want to pry into something that’s personal, it’s yours if you want to keep it that way 
  • debbiedo49
    debbiedo49 Community member Posts: 2,904 Disability Gamechanger
    It’s okay the wall is public so people should be careful what they write that’s all

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