Life is a constant struggle — Scope | Disability forum

Life is a constant struggle

Chiku Member Posts: 1 Listener
A bit about myself.   I am a 42 year old Mum of two children one of whom had flown the nest a handful of years and my youngest son whom lives with his Dad close by and comes and goes between our two homes as and when he chooses.
10 years ago I started noticing much pain within my bones and muscles but ignored it.   I started a job working at hostel in South West London which catered for troubled young teens and enjoyed the job very much despite only being there for a handful of weeks when my legs started losing all power and feeling and would gave in beneath me.  This happened a few times and alas it was accidentally witnessed by managers, which was when they told me I will need to go and get a thorough medical before I'd be allowed back if at all.  Which eventually after a year of seeking medical investigation I had been told I had osteoarthritis, so was given medication for it.  After a few years I was only getting worse and worse so had to go for more tests and was finally told I had anti-Ro bodies and that I also had rheumatoid disease plus sjogrens syndrome and that was around 5 years ago. 
Well now, as of yesterday the 15th of August I had my first appointment after being re-referred to a new hospital as the other was very stressful for me to get to.   The new rheumatologist at N.W.P. hospital whom said he feels I have Fibromalgia and will need to be investigated again on the conditions I had been diagnosed with years before.
I had given a urine sample and bloods taken and hopefully I expect to receive results within a fortnight.   Life is a constant struggle and at times with all dozen variations of fatigue I feel as though I am alone and at times feel I am going crazy and have had thoughts of ending my life.


  • gnmeads
    gnmeads Member Posts: 187 Pioneering
    Hi Chiku and a big welcome to the Scope community and sorry to hear about your problems. I'm sure you'll find lots of people here who can help you
  • Pippa_Alumni
    Pippa_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,793 Disability Gamechanger
    edited August 2018
    Hi @Chiku, and a warm welcome to the community!

    Thank you for sharing this with us- chronic illness can feel so isolating, especially when you're searching for answers, but I hope you find comfort in being a part of our community. I'm sure many others will be able to relate to your experiences too.

    You are a member of our community and we appreciate you. If you are having thoughts of suicide, it is important that you discuss them with someone who is qualified to help. Please call the Samaritans on 116 123 (free) or email them at [email protected]. You might also benefit from reading MIND’s information on how you can help yourself. If you feel that you may be an immediate danger to yourself, please call 999 or go to your local hospital right away.

    Do keep in touch, and I hope today is as kind as possible to you!

  • Sam_Alumni
    Sam_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,674 Disability Gamechanger
    How are you doing @Chiku ? As @gnmeads says, there are lots of members who have faced similar struggles so I hope you can connect with us. 
    Senior online community officer