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  • saz11
    saz11 Online Community Member Posts: 121 Empowering
    @Onix

    Good morning Linda not sure what time your appointment is but remember you got through the last awful one and you will get through this too x 
  • Chloe_Alumni
    Chloe_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 10,506 Championing
    Hi @Onix, I'm sorry to hear things have been really difficult for you. I'm glad others on the community have been able to provide support. Your dog is gorgeous!! I hope he's able to keep you company. :) 
  • Onix
    Onix Online Community Member Posts: 75 Empowering
    @saz11
    @Chloe_Scope
    @thespiceman @Adrian_Scope

    Hi Saz11, thank you for your message, I really appreciate it xx

    I just wanted to say THANK YOU to you all for all your help this week - yep I had a couple of incidents (can't put on here), but because you took time to check in with me, it averted a potentially major 'blip'.

    I had my f2f this morning and it was absolutely disastrous - it went on forever and I was getting to a point of just crumpling and not being able to do anything. I couldn't do any of the exercises she asked but I was fighting against myself because I felt so pathetic. Eventually she said we were done - and now it's just a waiting game.

    Thank you all so much for just being there ?

  • saz11
    saz11 Online Community Member Posts: 121 Empowering
    @Onix

    I am absolutely gutted to hear things didn't go as smoothly as they should have. Please stop giving yourself a hard time trust me i feel helpless and not in control when i have my f2f but after my last pip f2f i thought enough.....I've worked  all my life and paid my taxes and i am not going to let anyone make me feel small or like a second class citizen. 

    When i got home after that assessment would you believe i had a letter to go for one for esa ?? anyway now i just go and be open and honest to the best of my ability and i believe there's not much more you can do. So chin up i am sure you gave your best. You seem a nice caring honest person and you were strong enough to go so just bind your time for the decision.  We are all here anytime....you have us as friends now can't get rid of us ?
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Online Community Member Posts: 6,283 Championing
    Hello @Onix   Good morning to you.  Thank you for kind words. Sorry to hear about your assessment.

    I do understand is a difficult time for you.

    Please if I can mention this is me. I never done the physical side of assessments because I do not have to. Says in the booklet. I would recommend that it is not necessary.

    Sorry to tell you this.  As I am physical disabled any way why poke and prod. Do not do this. Might lose a few points but in reality if you explain am in pain and struggle to do this. Next time.

    No need at all.

    I would just like to say you mentioned several problems with talking and communication.

    I am myself born deaf and have to struggle to hear. I would just also add one way of talking to help you.  This from a hearing specialist is to use music.

    Listen to music with that of course comes words.  If you concentrate on the lyrics of words of songs does help.

    Use the old songs and artists those like Frank Sinatra or those artists such as Nat King Cole. From that you can pronounce words and remember them to use.

    From that you get confidence and self esteem. I had a former friend who would stammer. Yet he could sing beautifully .

    Amazing but true.    There was an artist in the charts had a no 1 spoke with a stammer difficult to talk but could sing.

    I forget his name.

    I know added some links to look at. Understand the anxiety the problems and everything your going through.

    I get the sweats, nervous and on edge meeting people.  Yet looking at enrolling in mental health charities helped me over come that.

    That is a big step for you I do know but there again the door is always open.  To look at every thing.

    Then I will be happy to help and be here for you.  If you decide to do that decision.

    If I can be supportive please get in touch.

    Please take care.


    @thespiceman
  • Onix
    Onix Online Community Member Posts: 75 Empowering
    @saz11
    Thank you for keeping in touch ☺, it's really kind of you.
    Oh wow, bet you weren't impressed going for the esa f2f straight after pip.
    I really hope that doesn't happen to me, but I won't hold my breath.
    Please excuse my bad manners - I meant to ask, do you have a pic of your furkid?
    I hope I may be able to offer my help at some point as you have done for me ☺.
  • saz11
    saz11 Online Community Member Posts: 121 Empowering
    edited November 2019
    @Onix

    Its not a problem at all.....i have had my fair share of  low points in my life and i isolated myself for a long time so i know how easy it can be to just shut yourself away.  Yeah two assessment within a few weeks phew but ive coped with a thousand times worse things than the DWP can throw at me ?. 
    Are you feeling any better or are you worrying about the decision .




  • Onix
    Onix Online Community Member Posts: 75 Empowering
    @thespiceman

    Thanks to you as well, i'm not used to folks being so nice. Because I try to do stuff, folk think there's nothing wrong and i'm working my ticket, but they don't see the before and after.
    I'll be sure to try that with music ☺.
    Because my confidence and self-esteem is so smashed, I thought I'd try and do a confidence course - got to the class, the door was shut and I could hear folk talking on the other side of it, so I couldn't even open the door.  Absolutely pathetic considering some of the jobs i've done.
    I really appreciate the help and suggestions you have given ☺.

  • Onix
    Onix Online Community Member Posts: 75 Empowering
    @saz11
    Wow, he's a beauty ??. Stunning shade of fox red!! 
    I'm honestly dreading the decision but I think exhaustion will kick in first so that will give a bit of respite until I can catch up with myself ☺. 
    Until then, I'll just keep on keeping on ☺.
  • saz11
    saz11 Online Community Member Posts: 121 Empowering
    @Onix

    I am not going to tell you not to worry but what i will tell you is you are a strong lovely lady. I hope you will see that things can get better even if the decision is not the one you want. A few years ago i honestly didn't think i would smile again but now i have days i even laugh ?? 

    I am here anytime to chat about everything or anything it helps me too. 

  • Onix
    Onix Online Community Member Posts: 75 Empowering
    @saz11

    Thank you so much.
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,754 Online Community Programme Lead
    Hi @Onix. I just wanted to check in and let you know that while your F2F didn't go as you might've hoped, we'll be happy to advise in any way that we can.
  • Chloe_Alumni
    Chloe_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 10,506 Championing
    Hi @Onix I'm sorry your assessment didn't go to plan. Like @Adrian_Scope said, we'll be here if you need anything. I hope you have managed to start the week off nicely.
  • Onix
    Onix Online Community Member Posts: 75 Empowering
    @Adrian_Scope

    @Chloe_Scope

    Thank you ☺. Sorry for late reply, had a bit of a meltdown. It's good to know there are people here.
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,754 Online Community Programme Lead
    No need to apologise @Onix. How are you doing at the moment?
  • Onix
    Onix Online Community Member Posts: 75 Empowering
    Hi @Adrian_Scope, i'm currently climbing the walls ?. I really need these fireworks to stop. Far to much like ??and other stuff.


    How are you doing?
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Online Community Member Posts: 17,127 Championing
    Hi @Onix - Linda, I see you have met some lovely people from the Scope team, & also saz11 whom I was very pleased to meet & chat with fairly recently. I am hypersensitive to light & sound, so feeling for you right now. How is Onix doing.....is he coping with the fireworks? I hope they have stopped now where you are: it's quiet for me now, thank goodness.
    Thinking about your recent f2f, altho' you felt it went disastrously, the fact it went on a long time hopefully meant the assessor was going through all your problems thoroughly. The fact you had difficulties may also just highlight the problems you undoubtedly face.
    You have mentioned that you are the sort of person who wants to help others; this seems so very important to you. So just take those small steps forward to help you first, so that you will be better able to help others a little later, thank you.
  • Onix
    Onix Online Community Member Posts: 75 Empowering
    Hi @chiarieds, Thank you for your reply. I have been very lucky that people replied and gave me help and further advice ☺. 
    Onix is really good, he hasn't bothered which has been great.
    It must be really hard being hypersensitive to light and noise ?.
    The majority seem to have eased off now, hopefully not too long before they all stop. I'm leaving it as long as possible before getting Onix out. He has been so good so if he tells me he needs out, we will have to go out.
    I hope you have had a nice evening.
  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Online Community Member Posts: 17,127 Championing
    Onix looks such a lovely dog, & I'm glad the fireworks haven't bothered him. Yeah, well dogs do have their way of saying I need to go out, don't they? I look after my son's Bedlington terrier a few days a week. I have him tomorrow....it all depends on what shifts he & his wife are working as they don't want to leave him alone too long.
    Enjoy your last walk of the day, & thank you for replying & your kind thoughts.
  • cracker
    cracker Online Community Member Posts: 322 Empowering
    @onico7,

    I have that hypersensitivity to light, sound and smells. On a sunny day I must draw my curtains, and I hear tiny noises and light smells no one else notices.

    I have been in much the same place emotionally and physically. I will think of you.

    What a comfort this forum is.

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