Letting it out? — Scope | Disability forum
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Letting it out?

gillian72
gillian72 Community member Posts: 304 Pioneering
I would just like to say I'm really sorry for my rudeness swearing I should of had more respect knowing younger ones are here as well, an if I offended any parents I'm sorry , and sorry to all the scope team if be lost  if I got banned  because you have all got me to where I am now if u have  removed my shouting  an screaming post I'm totally happy to have it deleted , ps sorry I haven't spoke to u all in this group for a while but I do still pop over a read ur posts even if  I don't  reply to ur posts take care be safe xx??
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Comments

  • Chloe_Scope
    Chloe_Scope Posts: 10,586 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @gillian72, we understand that you were frustrated. I hope you are doing okay and that you continue to find the community helpful. :)
    Scope

  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @gillian72 I didn't see your shouting and screaming post but we all get frustrated and angry at times. Its nice to see you are still active in the community and look forward to seeing you artound
  • gillian72
    gillian72 Community member Posts: 304 Pioneering
    @Chloe_Scope thankyou Chloe ❤️  @janer1967 thankyou  it was the best thing. I've  done I joined a couple of yrs ago but just looked at people's story's  an the odd chat  till I got the courage to chat with everyone who is going through similar problems I didn't feel ashamed  to open up  an talk to everyone  I'm now I'm not  alone  no more xx??
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 10,821 Scope online community team
    We all need an outlet @gillian72 and it's good to get things off our chests at times. I don't think there was any harm done, so don't worry too much. :smile: I hope you're feeling a bit better today? :smile:
    Community Manager
    Scope
  • gillian72
    gillian72 Community member Posts: 304 Pioneering
    ?? look I know most of u will think I'm crazy, last yr I finally broke down at my esa hp he did ask me. a few times if he needed to take me to our metal hospital I kept on asking if he believed. me an be honest about it , he said no I don't believe you but I do believe what ur telling me so weather you believe or not then surly I need help if this is. what I'm. saying happened
  • gillian72
    gillian72 Community member Posts: 304 Pioneering
    So hear goes I got all my teeth out in hospital, (because I had bad experience at dentist when I was a kid) so I had a couple of appointments with him just to make sure i wasn't gonna change my mind. while I was there he kept on asking me why I don't I have these to moles on my face removed aswell an il. wake up a new woman an smile again I said no but said you can remove the two of my neck then finally my friend (ex partners cousin) said go on its free why not.the scars will be one strand of a hair and gone in. 6months time well I woke up to no teeth in. and thick black stitches in place of my moles so iive got to wide scars on my face even the holes marks from the thick black stitches I went to my Drs once after telling him what happened and asked him if these scars will gone after next 3months that makes it the 6months I was told , well I knew the answer really, NO an he said omg look I'm shocked at what he's done an if it was. say his wife he would be taking her to seek medical advice, I did nothing I was so ashamed an have toucherd myself ever since that was 18yrs ago an never told anyone only kids family side so I've never made friends kept myself to myself an now here I am only top set fitted never had bottom teeth since , top set have got to big an wearing away kept in with palygrip an fixadent an I'm so ashamed because my kids have tried everything even offer to pay private then. with my mh triggers which I've lived with since. my late teens but I can't do it I blame myself for being so f,,, stupid letting my gaurd down when I should have known better an when I feel bad I just look in the mirror. an tell myself it's my own fault so this is it I've never told anyone until my hp last yr and all of you now oh an on the p2p hp an only the one dr 18yrs ago ?? so when they are asking me how my disabilitys an health problems are affecting my day to day life etc I'm getting a bit confused explaining because I don't have a time limit on my daily life because I don't have one so if I don't clean up etc for days an only if I feel ok so it's getting confusing when they ask how long it takes an how it affects me blah blahh I know I'm gonna get it wrong and this is my only chance to sort myself out an get out of here get a flot an bit of mobility coz I'm gonna end up not getting out of this ?? hole coz my daughters talking about moving out an il be stuck here alone I don't know what to do anymore ??
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 10,821 Scope online community team
    Hi @gillian72. It must have taken a lot for you to be able to share something so personal with us and I'm glad you felt able to.
    I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience with the hospital and having your teeth and moles removed and that this still impacts you and how you look at yourself now.

    If the top set are too big and worn down would you be able to consider going to the dentist at all to get them looked at? 

    It can be really difficult to explain how your mental health impacts your day-to-day life and you're certainly not the first person to wonder how to explain it because you feel as though you don't have one. You could be quite honest and explain that in the form. There is no 'wrong' answer, if that makes sense? 
    Explain what you do in a day (and what you avoid doing/can't do) and why your days are that way. 
    Community Manager
    Scope
  • gillian72
    gillian72 Community member Posts: 304 Pioneering
    @Adrian_Scope thankyou Adrian & hope your good ? I started to feel human an get my silly sense of humour back I wish I started chatting on here when I 1st joined I feel sad that so many of us are lonely and we all have health problems/disability// mental health issues and I'm sure I'm not the only one who gets angry and upset having to. explain when they say what's up with you or well u need to go to Drs grrrr so we all understand each other one way or another ? Plus I've learnt a lot about myself an at the moment I look like a hard as ?? great grandma( no offence to great grandmas ) ??
  • gillian72
    gillian72 Community member Posts: 304 Pioneering
    @Adrian_Scope oh sorry Adrian it was about my p2p assesment, I don't like telling anyone I get paranoid when I get questions like when was last time I worked I always prey they don't ask me that question I get upset because that's why I had that done an when they say or come on you must no your neighbors so my health probs / disability are also why I don't go out too , oh I don't no it's making my anxiety levels angry ??
  • Topkitten
    Topkitten Community member Posts: 1,285 Pioneering
    edited August 2020
    I didn't see the bad post as I don't get on here as much as I used to nut I will always say that sometimes anger and frustration should be allowed for. By all means rant at a situation but try not to make things personal, after all there will always be people that disagree with ANY situation simply because we all see things and describe things differently. Also, in much the same way that any rant is an opinion that should be allowed to be expressed (within the board rules ofc) so too are any replies an opinion that also should be allowed in the same way. Getting upset with others is never an effective way to deal with people so, if someone finds something upsetting, then it's best for them to go away from it and come back later, when they can be more objective. This applies to posters and responders alike.

    Keep posing @gillian72 and good luck.

    TK
    "I'm on the wrong side of heaven and the righteous side of hell" - from Wrong side of heaven by Five Finger Death Punch.
  • Lou67
    Lou67 Community member Posts: 6,622 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi Gillian glad you got to get all that out, Topkitten is right you should be able to express what your feeling, good  on you my pal and I hope your feeling a bit better, I will msg you later on the other thread we usually speak on take care Mrs ❤️
  • gillian72
    gillian72 Community member Posts: 304 Pioneering
    @Topkitten & @Lou67 thankyou both for ur messages atm I'm feeling embarrassed an paronid I just want to be me again even for a little bit ? But hey hoo I've felt comfortable in telling you all (may b a while b4 I put my pic up incase someone knows me) lol , so maybe there's hope for me after all girls rule an boys drool ??
  • Lou67
    Lou67 Community member Posts: 6,622 Disability Gamechanger
    Aww Gillian youv nothing to be embarrassed about, wev all got issues with ourselves, I eventually put a photo of myself on and it took a lot as I don’t feel good about myself either but it’s a start, put a photo up once you feel comfortable, then I will see what my pal looks like ?
  • gillian72
    gillian72 Community member Posts: 304 Pioneering
    hiya everyone @scope the last 2 weeks has been a nite mare im running on fumes atm and need some advice an help my son has been drinking and taking coke everyday for past 3/4 weeks when his bags of clothes came here he had already been on a bender 4 10days solid he had took 30ish tablets i only got told last week , im fuming about not been told any way last nite i had to lock him in i was gonna get him sectioned  he had blood all over his face god ive never seen anyone  act that way anyway he told me he has drink drugs an gambling problems i dont no what to do now i wish i got him sactioned last nite im so scared i cant believe hes still breathing what should i do now any advice would be great right now plz :'(










































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  • janer1967
    janer1967 Community member Posts: 21,964 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @gillian72 I am sorry to hear about your son I dont really know what you can do but it seems you should do something

    Maybe contact GP or look on the NHS website who will have details of who to contact for support with addiction

    I hope some other members can give you some more specific advice, maybe google for any help lines or support in your local area
  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
    edited September 2020
    Hello @gillian72 Thanks for sharing this with us.  It sounds like you are going through a really stressful time and I'm sure we can help.

    It's important your son gets the help he needs with his drug problem asap to keep him safe.  Is your GP aware of what has been happening?  Also, which town or city do you live in?  I ask this because each area has a mental health crisis team who can provide support with drug treatment.  Your GP can refer your son or you can self-refer for an assessment.  Please let me know if you need any help finding contact details for this.

    The Frank website's Find support near you page is also a good place to search for what's available in your area in terms of drug and gambling support.  

    I know this isn't easy on you and the thought of your son being sectioned is upsetting but you are acting out of love and with his best interests in mind.  Be kind to yourself too.  
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  • gillian72
    gillian72 Community member Posts: 304 Pioneering
    @janer1967  @Cher_Scope thankyou both for ur messages  yes its  come at my worse time ever aswell im getting impingment all over the place an getting cold numbness everywhere an bladder season atm i also got just over 2g  back  dated ££££ pip havent read all the letter yet an didnt get my esa benifit in bank an due to get paid again  on thursday thats how bad its been atm i know the pip went in bank on 19th aug and got 1 month 4 mr does that mean ive got to 19th sep to do it by ??  fgs thats how mad its been at home living off 2/3 hour sleep atm  aswell god what a mess  :'(:'(

  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
    @gillian72 are you getting hospital treatment for your health problems too?  Don't forget about yourself.

    If you are challenging the initial PIP decision and want to submit a mandatory reconsideration, yep its a calendar month so 19th September.  For more information look at Scope's 'Challenging a decision about PIP or other benefits' webpage.  
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  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
    @gillian72 Just to add, this NHS webpage gives links to mental health services for your son and helps you find a local urgent mental health helpline.  Please make sure to keep us updated with how you get on.  You don't have to go through this alone and we want to support you.  
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  • gillian72
    gillian72 Community member Posts: 304 Pioneering
    @cher_scope ? Thankyou for advice an help, ,update my son is. doing well an getting help now it wasn't as bad as I was being told of his ex his dad an sister all shouting an screaming at him made things worse , I kept him lock in house till he told me what was going on an opening up to me , he's now back at work an doing well ? I've got his 10yrs relationship of his clothes, work tools, etc etc piled in hall way an living room atm he had positive noived19 test so all in digs had been sent home 3 of them tested positive, so I've had him here as he has no where else to go 14 days now back working away again, I'm worried sick stressing out ,anxiety levels at boiling point worried sick I'm gonna be in more trouble having both kids home with me, I'm supposed to pay £186 council tax today if not il get court summons £70 cost I'm sat here wrapped up to save on gas till there home an back to square one living on £118 pw for house bills an food ,but they can live at grandmas for free I'm having symptoms sore throat etc this government is a joke ??

Brightness