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Are you listening?
Ross_Scope
Community Team Posts: 2,511 Disability Gamechanger
Today is the 27th National Day of Listening, and while listening is something we advocate for any time of year, today has a specific intention. Celebrated on the Friday after Thanksgiving, the day was launched by StoryCorps, a Not For Profit Organization whose mission is to provide people with an opportunity to tell, record and preserve the stories of their lives.
A marvellous alternative to the frantic event that is Black Friday, the National Day of Listening was organized to take place on this day as it is often a time that families are together.
Not only is good listening important for effective communication, but it can also help in the following areas:
Active listening is a soft skill that directs the focus from what’s in your head to the words coming from the outside. By being able to focus on what another person is saying, you can understand needs and information more accurately.
It requires the following:
For those struggling with their mental health, being listened to is priceless, it can be one of the first steps towards recovery and it can be very much needed in the hardest moments to help calm, reassure and heal somebody.
A key skill needed in these moments is empathetic listening, which is about really understanding the person who’s talking to you. That means it goes beyond active listening and deep into the zone of non-judging and empathy.
Non-judgment while you listen to others means you can truly hear them with an open mind. Empathy refers to emotionally connecting with another person through identification, compassion, understanding, feeling, and insight. Empathetic listening is needed most when someone needs to be seen and heard, and are not particularly coming to you for a solution.
If you want to be heard, have anything to say at all or need support, you will always be heard on this community
A marvellous alternative to the frantic event that is Black Friday, the National Day of Listening was organized to take place on this day as it is often a time that families are together.
Why is listening important?
Well, aside from the fact that it's generally good manners, listening is a skill. It is key to all effective communication and without the ability to listen effectively, messages are easily misunderstood. As a result, communication breaks down and the sender of the message can easily become frustrated or irritated.Not only is good listening important for effective communication, but it can also help in the following areas:
- decision making
- learning, mentoring and teaching
- improving a person's social life and circle of friends
- general health and wellbeing - Studies have shown that, whereas speaking raises blood pressure, attentive listening can bring it down.
- sales and negotiation
- interviewing
- training and development
- customer service
- listening to complaints
What is active listening?
Think about how you define the word listening, and the word hearing. When it comes down to it they are two different things. Your body naturally hears sounds, but it requires mental action to listen for understanding. Taking it a step further, you can listen passively without attention, or you can listen actively, which is the basis of relationship-building. There’s a big difference between active vs. passive listening.Active listening is a soft skill that directs the focus from what’s in your head to the words coming from the outside. By being able to focus on what another person is saying, you can understand needs and information more accurately.
It requires the following:
- no interrupting
- summarisation
- picking up on body language
- repeating back what you hear
Listening when someone needs to be heard
Listening is a hugely powerful skill when it comes to helping others, and sometimes people just need to be listened to. Often, it can feel hard to be heard, either because you might find opening up about your feelings difficult or because people don't seem to want to listen.For those struggling with their mental health, being listened to is priceless, it can be one of the first steps towards recovery and it can be very much needed in the hardest moments to help calm, reassure and heal somebody.
A key skill needed in these moments is empathetic listening, which is about really understanding the person who’s talking to you. That means it goes beyond active listening and deep into the zone of non-judging and empathy.
Non-judgment while you listen to others means you can truly hear them with an open mind. Empathy refers to emotionally connecting with another person through identification, compassion, understanding, feeling, and insight. Empathetic listening is needed most when someone needs to be seen and heard, and are not particularly coming to you for a solution.
Are you listening?
I'd be keen to hear from you:- Do you feel as though people listen enough?
- Do you practice any of these listening techniques?
- Do you consider yourself a good listener?
If you want to be heard, have anything to say at all or need support, you will always be heard on this community
Online Community Coordinator
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Replies
An issue I think exists, and that I have come across myself, is that even if people are able to listen and repeat back what has been said, often they don’t properly digest what has been said to them and don’t actually think about and understand the meaning of what has been said.
I think being able to interpret what has been said is just as important as knowing what words have been said. As a very simple example if someone said something to me in Russian I could probably repeat it back but that does not mean I have any idea what they meant!
There are so many aspects to think about when listening to somebody, of course you might just be there for support, but in a situation where you are expected to respond, it's always important to consider tone and context as well as the words themselves.
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It's just that IMO some people don't listen to me, like on the phone and that, which is partly why I hate talking to most call centres, especially non UK ones.
That's fair @MrAllen1976, nobody likes talking to call centres
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Thank you so much for starting this thread, listening is so important and there are so many elements to it. I studied for Level 2 and 3 in Counselling skills and listening was a key focus in both of these. I decided to study for these due to my own experience of having difficulty in opening up and expressing my emotions. I think sometimes when people engage in social interactions many people are focusing on what their response will be rather than really hearing what the other person is saying. Listening is a crucial skill but I think it is one that may become harder to come across, though that is just my opinion. As you say, being listened too in a non-judgemental way, with empathy, can often make the difference to someone. Thank you.
I must admit I am bad though of sometimes carrying on with the task I am doing rather than putting it to one side to listen properly
I think it's important to recognise sometimes that there is the time in the day to just stop and give somebody the attention they deserve, they might really need it.
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The evidence from various places such as the figures for the 9/11 'counselled vs non counselled' and many others have resulted in the same conclusion, i.e. that the counselling and therapy industry are fine for some, but bad for others. Her site also has paid for stuff, but with a bit of a struggle you can get her most popular videos and some of them would probably ring bells with your relative.
There are straightforward self assertion guides as well, but your relative might not find them appropriate, because they assume an equality of status and no power imbalance or habit of placating .