Random jokes and funnies thread.
Options
encaser
Community member Posts: 400 Pioneering
I was thinking earlier, that maybe this place could do with a random joke and funnies thread (funny pictures/cartoon/jokes etc.) that was open to all kinds of what tickles members fancy - no swearing or X rated jokes or images obviously, we don't want this to happen:
I'll start with an oldie.
A man goes to his Dr and asks, Why do my wife's toes jiggle when we make love?
Dr replies, Have you asked her to take her tights off?!!
I'll start with an oldie.
A man goes to his Dr and asks, Why do my wife's toes jiggle when we make love?
Dr replies, Have you asked her to take her tights off?!!
Comments
-
-
This reminds me of the picture jokes thread that @male45 started a few months ago. You might want to take a look through those to have a bit of a laugh @encaser! Thanks for starting this thread, too. I think we could all do with a good laugh at the moment
-
-
-
-
Online Community CoordinatorConcerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
Did you receive a helpful reply to your discussion? Fill out our feedback form and let us know about it. -
It made me chuckle a lot too @Ross_Scope You have to look at the funny side of these things.
-
-
LOL! A while back there was a job going at the B&Q down in Darnall, only thing that put me off applying was that last I heard my ex from school works there.
-
I went into B and Q, I said “can I have a kilo of nails please?” An assistant said “ of course, how long do you want them?” I said “ forever.”
“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV -
2 pieces of string went into a Bar, 1 went up to the Bar and said "Pint of mild please", the second one went, the Barman said "Are you a piece of string?" the string said "No I'm afraid not!" (Frayed Knot)
*gets coat*
-
A slab of black tarmac and a slab of concrete walk into a bar and ordered 2 pints. They sat down with their drinks and commenced a discussion about who was the toughest. The tarmac said that he was the strongest because he bore the weight of the country's traffic on his back. The concrete retorted that he was stronger as he was the chosen material for all the airports runways and that day after day fully laden planes took off and landed on his back day and night. The conversation continued in this vein for some time, getting increasingly more heated.
Then a slab of red tarmac walked in and the conversation abruptly stopped. The barman then said to the black tarmac and concrete, 'I don't understand you two. You were going at it hammer and tongs and then shut up when the red tarmac walked in. Why?'
They replied to the barman ' we don't talk to him. He's a cycle path.' (Psychopath.)
Went to get coat but it had already gone!!!! -
Here's a Christmas themed one I just saw on Facebook, made into my own version.
So I went in Tesco for the annual Christmas Turkey, they'd sold out, went in Morrison's, same.. So what did I end up with? A Lidl Donkey! -
Online Community Co-ordinator
Want to tell us about your experience on the online community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know.Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us. -
Online Community Co-ordinator
Want to tell us about your experience on the online community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know.Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us. -
Ha ha
-
-
I commented to my Parents when they were about to announce the Tiers last week that there'd be tears about Tiers, especially if they had to keep the schools closed till further notice.
-
-
I told a couple of friends at work that I had found a secret screen on Call of Duty where you can create your own weapons. So I made a boomerang grenade and discovered the flaw in my design when I first tried to use it. Two of us could not stop laughing when the other asked where he could find it.
I told my daughter in Far Cry 5 on Christmas Day I had received a notice that I was on Santa's permanent naughty list after killing 8 reindeer in succession. She asked me if that was a real achievement in the game. Only on Christmas day and they are pulling a sled and a large jolly gentleman with a large sackAs an individual I stood alone.
As a member of a group I did things.
As part of a community I helped to create change!
Categories
- All Categories
- 13.1K Start here and say hello!
- 6.7K Coffee lounge
- 69 Games lounge
- 387 Cost of living
- 4.3K Disability rights and campaigning
- 1.9K Research and opportunities
- 202 Community updates
- 9.3K Talk about your situation
- 2.1K Children, parents, and families
- 1.6K Work and employment
- 777 Education
- 1.7K Housing and independent living
- 1.4K Aids, adaptations, and equipment
- 593 Dating, sex, and relationships
- 363 Exercise and accessible facilities
- 742 Transport and travel
- 32K Talk about money
- 4.4K Benefits and financial support
- 5.2K Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
- 17.3K PIP, DLA, and AA
- 5.1K Universal Credit (UC)
- 6.3K Talk about your impairment
- 1.8K Cerebral palsy
- 875 Chronic pain and pain management
- 182 Physical and neurological impairments
- 1.1K Autism and neurodiversity
- 1.2K Mental health and wellbeing
- 317 Sensory impairments
- 822 Rare, invisible, and undiagnosed conditions