carer burden
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pattern1991
Community member Posts: 38 Courageous
any advice on how best to support a love one when they experience carer burden oten then just thanking them for what they do
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Hi there
Good thread I dont have a carer as such my teenage son helps me and I often feel bad for him having to do so. I try and do as much as I can
I am always telling him how proud I am of him and tend to reward him more than I should
The way I look at him if he was an adult he would get carers allowance so out of my PIP money he gets a normal weekly spending money like any child probably would and then every month he gets a gift card -
I also make sure he gets a break and spends time with his friends (if and when we can )
He also sometimes stays with family for a few days in school holidays and they take him on day trips -
what about
romantic partners -
I only see my partner when he isnt working away so not often , so he doesnt really get involved in my care apart from when he is here
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even so how do you support apart from affinition and thanks
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affection
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Could you ask your partner @pattern1991? I'm sure that different people would appreciate different things. Some might really appreciate a gift or treat, but that might make others uncomfortable. Some ideas could be:
- a gift
- spending time with you doing something they enjoy
- you giving them the space to do something they enjoy, including spending time on their own
- suggesting some self-care activities for them
- organising for a friend to surprise them (within the rules)
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I think it's a national disgrace that the country doesn't recognise the number of children who help care for disabled parents, they like all carers save the country billions and should be rewarded and acknowledged for doing so.2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡
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tori i dont have a partner right now just seeking advice for when the problem arises
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My other half just gets on with it and asks for nothing in return. When I became ill and could no longer do everyday things he just did it all for me. I'm very lucky to have him he's one in a million
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Oh right, sorry about that @pattern1991! In that case, I think having open conversations with them would be the best way to go. Letting them know that they can talk to you any time they feel overwhelmed can go a long way, as well as having an understanding of the little things that they appreciate. No one should make you feel as though you're a burden though.
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i wish it were that simple but thanks
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@woodbine social services in some areas don't like children being carers thsts the problem
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lisathomas50 said:@woodbine social services in some areas don't like children being carers thsts the problem2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡
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@lisathomas50 @woodbine social services have no idea most of the time that children are carers how would they ?
It only seems to get highlighted if there becomes a problem at school or with police
Social services have no idea what happens in the average household that doesnt come on their radar and why should they -
Lots of children have been taken into care because of them being carers when they are young but thats another subject again
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As Mike often says, personal experience (or knowledge of a few instances) is anecdotal @lisathomas50 . If you have statistics, or a reputed link(s) to confirm this, then please say. Otherwise, I'm not understanding where your comments have come from.
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Going a bit off topic here I think
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deleted2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡
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I know @woodbine just dont think it's appropriate on a disability website to put fear in people about child carers bring taken into care. There are lots of members here who have their kids help them
So was trying politely to get it back on track
@lisathomas50 please be mindful of other members
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