House-sharing with other disabled people? — Scope | Disability forum
Please read our updated community house rules and community guidelines.

House-sharing with other disabled people?

Spoonbill
Spoonbill Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
New to the forum - hi!
So I'm ashamed at my ignorance on this, but I've been trying to work out whether house-sharing is a popular choice for disabled people to the extent that it's something that can be readily found. I've surfed the internet and asked local and national advice services but come up empty so far. So it's crowd-sourcing time!

Basically, I've always shared houses or lodged with non-disabled people (I only once came across one disabled landlord advertising), but a chronic illness has declined to the point where - combined with social anxiety - I find it increasingly difficult to share with people who aren't hip to the social model (i.e. seemingly a majority). Sadly, I've yet to learn the magic trick to opening minds that doesn't involve finding it *painfully* difficult and then giving up from exhaustion.

I'll keep trying to get better at educating/integrating, but I'm thinking things being as they are it would be a hell of a lot less stressful (in general) to share a house with other disabled people. Living alone brings it's own pros/cons, not least cost. BUT...in your knowledge and experiences, are "all-disabled" house-shares much of a thing for independent single people? Where else to look?? Any thoughts etc. appreciated!
«1

Comments

  • Libby_Alumni
    Libby_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 1,251 Pioneering
    edited January 2022
    Hi @Spoonbill

    Welcome to the community and thank you for your comment :)

    You make a really interesting point and I've just been doing a bit of research online as I'm unaware myself of any house sharing websites/apps that highlight 'disabled house shares etc'. From my personal experience, I suffer with two invisible chronic illnesses (Endometriosis and PoTs) which I was newly diagnosed with a few years ago. I have recently moved into a new flat (alone) and I think it's the best decision I've made because I can get on with my daily routines which help me manage my chronic illnesses and I can do it in my own time/space which makes things a lot easier/more comfortable for myself. It's more expensive of course, but personally it's something that I knew would benefit not only my physical health but also mental health. 

    I'm sorry I couldn't be more helpful, but hopefully our members will share some of their experiences or have other insights to add to the suggestions. 

    If you have any other questions, then please just let us know :)

    Libby
    Online Community Information Coordinator
    Scope

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.

    Did we do a good job at answering your queries or concerns? If so, complete our feedback form now. 
  • Spoonbill
    Spoonbill Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
    Thank you @Libby_Scope no, that's very useful to hear. :) I can see that advantage too but tend to fall into isolation if I'm not careful. OTOH I plan to move to where there's more social opportunity, which ought to help. It's useful to know the choices others make and why, so I definitely appreciate your sharing. B)
  • Sandy_123
    Sandy_123 Scope Member Posts: 46,788 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Spoonbill welcome to the forum  I've a link you might find useful.

    https://homeshareuk.org/
  • Spoonbill
    Spoonbill Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
    edited January 2022
    Thank you. @Sandy_123 that's interesting, hadn't seen that one.
    On it's face, seems to be something of a work exchange which would tend to favour those with ability to work around the house owner (who, as property owner is in the position of control) whereas my condition is variable, domestic labour could be a sticking point considering my own health needs and I have difficulties of my own to work around, but I should see if I can get more of a feel from looking into it some more with as open mind as possible - maybe there's enough range and adaptability to put some time into it.
    Thanks again - will post back with any updates  :)
  • Spoonbill
    Spoonbill Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
    edited January 2022
    Reporting back on HomeShare suggestion above: can confirm it's a work exchange-cum-low rent hybrid arrangement - might be great for e.g. a part-time student/worker able to deal with the initial red tape and insecurity for low rent and domestic services? Unfortunately unlikely to be workable for me - but thanks anyway!
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,488 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm not aware of anything specific either unfortunately @Spoonbill, but I'll keep an eye out.

    Have you tried putting an advert up? I used SpareRoom to find my current houseshare, and was able to make a personal ad for free so that people looking for tenants could contact me, as well as me reaching out to them. Perhaps putting up an advert explaining that you're looking to live with other disabled people could help you to reach others who are in the same position, or who at least might be a bit more understanding? 

    The only other thing I thought of was joining some online groups for disabled people in your area and seeing whether anyone else is looking to move into a houseshare. I know that some groups exist for people in the LGBTQ+ community who are looking for houses where they're safe to be themselves, so it could be that they exist for disabled people too. Have you tried looking on social media sites such as Facebook to see if these exist in your area? It's obviously important to remember to keep yourself safe when meeting people you've met online, so make sure you meet them in a public place beforehand to talk things through, and let a friend or family member know where you are!
    National Campaigns Officer, she/her

    Join our call for an equal future.
  • Spoonbill
    Spoonbill Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
    edited January 2022
    Thanks @Tori_Scope - yes, I'm beginning to conclude that a specialist website or agent is too specific (unless maybe for London or similar) - and I just need to play the numbers game in the normal places; I might make the ad also for any other disabled people(/disability-positive?) looking to join up in a share, since timing can be flexible.
    I do like your thinking on the local message board/forum idea - I could see if there's a local group on-line or/and preferably in person once that's a thing we're doing again! (My planning to move area makes any way around trickier, but that's unavoidable for reasons.) I planned to do that anyway once I'd moved. Unsure of timing right now as needing to move to a friend's temporarily ASAP but I'll def. look into that!
    Still also interested to hear from any forum users already in such a house (at least to prove that such an arrangement can be successfully organised!). Thanks again.  B)
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Scope Posts: 12,488 Disability Gamechanger
    I might make the ad also for any other disabled people(/disability-positive?) looking to join up in a share, since timing can be flexible.
    I think that's a good plan @Spoonbill :) It's great that you can be flexible with the timing, too, as it'll allow you to wait to find the right people.

    Yes, it's worth having a look to see if there are any groups. Even if no one in the group is looking to move, they might know of someone you could chat to. 

    I hope some members with personal experience of this find your post soon!
    National Campaigns Officer, she/her

    Join our call for an equal future.
  • LizLizard
    LizLizard Community member Posts: 11 Listener
    Hi Spoonbill, My landlord is disabled as is his other lodger and so am I. I didn't specifically look for somewhere to live with other disabled people but my current landlord was one of the few people I could find who was happy to let a room to somebody not well enough to work full time. Is there anything you'd like to ask me?

    Spare Room has a filter for rooms with disabled access. Obviously not every disabled person with a spare room has an accessible spare room and not everybody who has an accessible spare room is disabled. You may also feel uncomfortable with the thought of taking an accessible room off the market if you don't need it. However if you do a search in the area you're looking to move to with the filter on you may well find a house or two of disabled people who would be happy to talk to you about moving in with them or may know of another house of disabled people (or possibly non-disabled people that they know to be clued up on the social model of disability) who have a room available. In my experience, members of the site do want to help. I've responded to an advert on there once and been told that unfortunately the room has now been taken but the landlord I had contacted could put me I touch with another landlord who hadn't posted an advert yet.
  • Spoonbill
    Spoonbill Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
    Thank-you, @LizLizard much appreciated. Owing to some protracted family issues, I'm unsure when I can go ahead with my plans, but that's all useful. TBH I find that Spare Room needs a lot of filtering through and avoiding of the scammy element, but I have also found a couple of decent landlords.
    Since I'm on hold, the only thing I would ask for now (if you're in a position to comment!) is whether it's worth searching while not on disability benefits (and not working)? I can pay the deposit, get a guarantor and would be eligible for housing benefit, but would only consider otherwise jumping into the benefits grinder as a short-to-medium-term buffer while getting back into work where accompanied by appropriate independent social support and decent medical support (this is available where I want to move to but where I am is basically a support desert). If you have a feel for that question, would be valuable!
  • Spoonbill
    Spoonbill Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
    edited June 2022
    Thanks evag72. I've used SpareRoom before & wouldn't rule it out. Social media is more difficult as things whizz on and off faster than I can manage atm, especially not being able to visit as fast as needed. Homefinder is new to me - yes, none fully accessible though I wouldn't need that rn, however options look localised to a few areas (mostly north). Thanks for the ideas though! :)
    (ps Homefinder also needs you to be on housing register or already in social housing)
  • caitlint19
    caitlint19 Community member Posts: 1 Listener
    Spoonbill said:
    New to the forum - hi!
    So I'm ashamed at my ignorance on this, but I've been trying to work out whether house-sharing is a popular choice for disabled people to the extent that it's something that can be readily found. I've surfed the internet and asked local and national advice services but come up empty so far. So it's crowd-sourcing time!

    Basically, I've always shared houses or lodged with non-disabled people (I only once came across one disabled landlord advertising), but a chronic illness has declined to the point where - combined with social anxiety - I find it increasingly difficult to share with people who aren't hip to the social model (i.e. seemingly a majority). Sadly, I've yet to learn the magic trick to opening minds that doesn't involve finding it *painfully* difficult and then giving up from exhaustion.

    I'll keep trying to get better at educating/integrating, but I'm thinking things being as they are it would be a hell of a lot less stressful (in general) to share a house with other disabled people. Living alone brings it's own pros/cons, not least cost. BUT...in your knowledge and experiences, are "all-disabled" house-shares much of a thing for independent single people? Where else to look?? Any thoughts etc. appreciated!
    Have you got social media? I’m in the same situation with chronic illness and severe anxiety and currently looking for a flat share.
  • Spoonbill
    Spoonbill Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
    Thanks so much for asking, @caitlin19. TBH I've put my own plans for moving on the shelf for now (with changes in available funding and a difficult economy I'm trying to first build up to working where I am).
    I did find this but FYI Trustpilot shows a lower rating than for Spareroom (and I've found that occasionally shady.)
    Someone mentioned homefinder which seems to have some shared, but housing register only. AFAICS Habinteg don't offer shared housing (just FYI, I could be wrong). I also see this thread mentioning APR and Trovit as possibles, in case that helps at all. That's about all I've found - best wishes!
  • healingcanary
    healingcanary Community member Posts: 5 Listener
  • healingcanary
    healingcanary Community member Posts: 5 Listener
    It’s called chronic illness and environmental sensitivities co-living/homesharing
  • Spoonbill
    Spoonbill Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
    Thank-you so much for letting me know, @healingcanary and apologies for being away.
    IMHO you put your intentions for the group across powerfully 🙏🏼, and I also appreciate the potential for attracting connections with people-powered movements and social enterprises in co-housing, tech and more (socialised more widely off-FB).
    I need to regain financial independence before coming back to this but thank-you for highlighting as it's on my radar for when the time is right. 🛠️🏠
  • healingcanary
    healingcanary Community member Posts: 5 Listener
    @Spoonbill great, please do. Please share with others 🙏🏼
    (Ps I rent/on disability)
  • Sabine
    Sabine Community member Posts: 7 Listener
    Hi, is this thread still active? I am also looking for intentional co housing either all disability or mixed members; diggers and dreamers might be a community option depending on personal economics and life philosophy/ values. I am in my 12th year of ME/CFS and dont get out anymore also thru Covid shielding, which made home visits impossible. Now, i lost f&f connections thru relocation too.
    I am too isolated, yet, cant build new friendships as housebound.
    A co housing, especially a designated purpose build or refurbed property would address access etc issues; even a mixed team of support and medical staff c/would be much more appropriately efficiently and effectively assigned to a group than individuals; so, similar to some existing assisted living units, but bigger and with the social communal benefit. 
    Also, a self started co housing does not need the social etc registration and point system, which in todays climate is basically impossible to access.
    There are co.op finance options available to build or refurb, which translate into affordable rent, the tenants become owners overtime. Especially as the rental market is so overpriced and unregulated, this too is an attractive option imho.
    Hoping there are still ppl on here interested. Cheers.

  • healingcanary
    healingcanary Community member Posts: 5 Listener
    @Sabine hi see 4 comments above yours for a group I’ve just set up 
    https://m.facebook.com/groups/902644770980663/?ref=share
  • Spoonbill
    Spoonbill Community member Posts: 70 Courageous
    Personally I think both have their merits :) With Diggers and dreamers more geared for co-housing my impression is that the bulk of projects is by those able to consider long-term investment of money and time, which might not be an option for many (not exclusively though, and co-funding/support can be found as you say, Sabine).
    From skirting a few more listings I don't recall specific mentions of disability awareness etc, although admittedly that's anecdotal and also with members' emphasis on living co-operatively I could see some of the groups being open to broader ideas in inclusivity, reciprocity etc. Were I still looking, I think I'd consider posting about forming a discussion group as well as maybe contact some that are already looking.
    NB healingcanary's other thread describes the FB group intentions (and could probably use a "shout-out" o:) ) - I'll link that thread here.

Brightness