Adult social services - many questions

I'm very confused and fustrated by what information I'm able to find about adult social services.

So background, I've been referred to adult social services by DV worker and cpn due to difficulties maintaining my mental health and environment around me (aka messy house, forgetting to shower n eat,  help harming behaviours, stuff like that, fun I know...) Anyway. Everyone talks about how adult social services will be able to support me, but no one talks about what support they can offer, just tell me to await assessment and see. No one mentioned costs and I've just finally started receiving pip, I don't want to loose that. I value my independence a great deal, I worked hard to get to where I am know and can't loose what independence I've managed to carve out of my crumby life.
So had adult social services assessment and they told me I'd likely need to contribute to the costs of support even though on disability benefits (didn't answer when I asked if they'd mean loosing my pip?) And wouldn't explain what services they offer that I MIGHT have access too. They said they'll complete their assessment and let me know what services they can offer me. I'm fustrated cos the only difference in what information I've been given since the assessment is the added info of possible costs (which will require another (so sick of assessments without leading to action, been a year of assessment after assessment and no support in place yet just being moved from one service for assessment to another) separate assessment and don't know if it may make me loose my pip I've worked since July to get) but still no idea what what support they'll offer. People ask what support I want and I can't answer that cos I don't know what's offered outside of care home, which I don't need, and home help which I can't see how I'd need either - I can't make an informed decision if I don't have all the information.
So I'm stuck awaiting this assessment result and I asked "if I'm not happy with the services you offer am I able to say no to them?" (I'm not cognitively impaired or under the mental health act, I am legally the one making decisions for my care) and they hmmmed and ahhed but didn't give a clear n direct answer, even after I explained I'm sick of getting wishy washy answers that cause my already struggling mental health more burden and require clear concrete information. I know legally I'm allowed to say no to any service but when it comes to social my experience is that they don't take no without finding a way to force compliance (not dissimilar from my marriage really).
Google told me about in home carers, PAs and care homes, but thats for like higher needs than mine, I manage best when as independent as possible (I've already had my folks and then my husband controlling every aspect of my life to an abusive level, I can't have that from social care too (which is my experience of the social care system so far, lots of telling you what to do but very little of them actually doing anything helpful when you've jumped through their ever harder hoops, just making everything much harder). I need to be the one controling my life to be able to heal not anyone else.

So does anyone know the answers to the following questions:

- can I refuse to access an offered service if the cost I have to pay means I'd loose my pip?
- can adults social services force my compliance when I'm assessed and proved to not be cognitively impaired or unable to make informed decisions about my life and my care needs?
- what services does adult social care offer other than in-home carers and care homes?
- why doesn't anyone ever give a clear answers with the social care industry?