How tf do you develop a healthy relationship with a ablebodied partner?

How do I build a life with someone where we both feel happy and fulfilled when I'm really just twelve illnesses in a trenchcoat? I'm not talking about dating, although that's of course hard in its own way, especially with invisible illnesses, I'm talking about once actually find someone. After deciding to move in with my boyfriend, I've been asking these questions a lot recently. So far, the best advice has been about equality vs equity-- as in, your relationship might not be equal, but it can be equitable. And that means whatever the both of you decide it does-- as I said in the blog post I eventually wrote on the subject, "the actual balance of work is less important than how you both feel about it."

Anyway, I'd seriously love to hear from anybody with chronic pain trying to be in a relationship (and build a life) with someone who doesn't, and how the heck you get started on a fair foundation that encourages a healthy relationship. Give me your wisdom!