Social phobia

not sure what advice I can offer as my rule is to avoid absolutely all face to face contact except with a tiny handful.

if I go to the coffee shop I'll go for 6.30am opening and only when a certain staff member is on as she knows me.

I won't walk through the town centre after I'll go round the back.

if I go for a walk it's in the middle of the night

I cancel any appointments that aren't vital

I won't go out at all if any of the neighbours are outside. the rubbish goes out at 4am

I don't even go to DWP assessments they get a choice paper based or keep the money

I am absolutely terrible.

I've avoided people where possible since I was about 16, although though hard life experiences, being used and abused I cut down my contacts more and more and more, the lockdown nailed the lid shut, I have spoken to just 4 people outside my home in person since march 2020 and 2 of those just once!

I get lonely and I miss the days of having lots of friends (well as above users who I thought were friends) but as i get older I get more and more tired and unwell and less and less people lol.

I think the way you get treated at work is both disgusting and heartbreaking you're absolutely lovely, about time they appreciated you 💜💛

aww, not selfish at all. you're absolutely right and people here have shown more genuine kindness and friendship than anyone I've known in person, it's definitely a very special place different to the general internet. Thank you too for always being there 💜💛

🌹

I had an experience like this after I left uni, in the first ever actual job I had (in retail, I lasted nine days). I learned some important things about myself and other people from that experience. The most important one was that I could not work full time. Also, that I could not work in retail because the job was stressful and the people (in that team) were largely horrible.

I have had numerous incidents where my stress/anxiety levels have gone overboard for some reason/a collection of reasons and then I find normal functioning difficult. I experienced some of the symptoms you're dealing with now, and it felt like it was constantly just there, all of the time. But like you, with that (brief) work experience, the only respite was getting away from work/having a day off. Also, the busier your brain is trying to manage the anxiety, the more difficult it is to mask, and to say the right thing at the right time, especially if the person in front of you is an illogical puzzle you can't figure out.

…if you are working full time, it may be time to consider a conversation with a GP about having your work hours reduced for a bit to help you reset. If your team at work are not receptive to helping you and are downright mean, though, it's time to find a new job.

The reason I left that retail position was because my line manager was picking on me all of the time, but I wasn't diagnosed then so I had nothing really to fight back with. But I work in the public sector now and I have a very inclusive team. My job is a lot of working with people and I've developed a masking work mode which goes on for the public at 9.45 and ends at 5.15. I do not want to talk to anyone on my bus home! But I have supportive colleagues and that makes the difference. You need to be in a team whereby if you raise a flag or call for help, someone is listening.

I realise that's another stress to add to the list and may not be financially viable immediately, but if you started to set out an action plan of things you want to achieve and worked towards it, maybe you will get to that solution.

When I am in a high anxiety mode, distraction is my only weapon, as well as positive motivation. When I began my first job after the retail fiasco (where I ended up being for 7 years, till the service closed), the first few weeks I was a nervous wreck. But every week I completed, I bought myself a small treat - a cake or some other trifle - until it became part of my pattern and normalised.

@eeL nothing, I repeat NOTHING is more important in a situation like this than your wellbeing. It sounds like you need a clean break and the opportunity to heal. It's sickening that in this day and age of diversity awareness, people still treat autistic folk in this way in the workplace (and in general) and I'm really sorry you've been through that. But hopefully this will help you to rebuild your confidence and find people/potential colleagues going forward who will treat you with respect.