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Feeling a little sad

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punchnJudy64
punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
So today I lost a customer. She had suffered a long time with cancer and took her last breath today. Really upset me. I’m struggling so much trying to go to work with what feels like a heavy backpack of health issues, both physical and mental. Today I feel sad yet lucky to be alive. I’m hoping one day to be able to give up killing myself trying to work and enjoy days pottering round because Micheala won’t ever be able to do that now. We need to make the most of every day, love the people who love us and care for those who need us.  Bit heavy for a Wednesday evening I know. X
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  • SueHeath
    SueHeath Community member Posts: 12,420 Disability Gamechanger
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    Bless you @punchnJudy64 please except a big hug of me x
  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
    edited February 2023
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    Hello @punchnJudy64 How are you getting on today? How is work?

    It's always a gut punch to hear someone we were fond of has passed away, I'm really sorry to hear of the loss of Michaela. It does serve as a reminder though, like you say, that everyday is a blessing. Health is wealth and just to be able to breathe in fresh air on a cold spring morning means we are very lucky.

    You mentioned some physical and emotional issues you were having, are you getting enough support with those do you think?

    Take care and I hope you're keeping as well as you can  <3
    Online Community Co-ordinator

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  • punchnJudy64
    punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
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    the doctors wrote a fit note. It was going to be one I didn’t work with but stupid me insisted I had to work. Uc only think I need £334  month to live on, so I don’t get much at all. I’m constantly worried and having to push myself to work so I can feed my dogs etc. mentally, I’m waiting for counselling. They said it can take 18 weeks. So that’s the support I have other than family. I was such an active confidant person before I met my ex 11 years ago. His control and pull downs has changed me so much that even I don’t know me. I often think , what’s the point of having to almost beg for financial help. It’s so degrading the way it’s done.  I don’t know really. I do have a friend coming tonight. I’ve a blood test and she coming with me x
  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @punchnJudy64

    I'm glad you have a friend visiting, I hope the blood test goes ok. And, I'm glad you're on the waiting list for counselling. The delays are a pain, but it will really be worth it so see how you get on and if you feel yourself and your mood worsening, then please visit your GP for a little chat.

    I'm sorry money's so tight. Have you used a Benefits calculator to see if there's anything else you're entitled to? Also, have you ever looked at PIP and whether your conditions would score enough points for an award? If you want to find out more about that, we'd be happy to discuss any questions you have.

    Please do consider taking some time off work if you feel like you need it  <3 and remember, we're always here for virtual company and a natter. Take care.
    Online Community Co-ordinator

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  • punchnJudy64
    punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
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    Thank you very much,  This is a lovely site, I’ll definitely be coming online more. Thank you again xx
  • poppy123456
    poppy123456 Community member Posts: 55,302 Disability Gamechanger
    edited February 2023
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    Uc only think I need £334  month to live on, so I don’t get much at all.

    UC is one benefit made up of many different elements. What you're entitled to will depend on your circumstances. It can include money for yourself, children, help with rent as well as extra money if you have a health condition and been assessed as having limited capability for work.

    That amount tells me that you're claiming as a single person. That amount is standard allowance for single over 25's.

    Do you rent or own your own home?

    If your health condition limits your ability to work have you reported your health condition? You will need a fit note as well for this, you'll need to continue to send the fit notes until a decision is made on your work capability assessment. (WCA) You will then be referred for a WCA on around the 29th day of your claim.


    I would appreciate it if members wouldn't tag me please. I have all notifcations turned off and wouldn't want a member thinking i'm being rude by not replying.
    If i see a question that i know the answer to i will try my best to help.
  • punchnJudy64
    punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
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    yes yes I live alone and no I don’t have rent. I was in an abusive marriage so with the money I had from my home before him , I bought an almost derelict house because it was a quick way to leave.. now I’m struggling. I have a fit note. I have addissons disease, chronic kidney disease, osteoarthritis, spondylitis along with a few others. Always worked but 30 yrs on steroids and cleaning has took its toll. Thank you for taking time to reply 
  • punchnJudy64
    punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
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    Thank you for the link. It’s really interesting.  I forgot to say that I also have ptsd which isn’t too helpful.. about 7 yrs ago a doctor told me to give up work because I could hardly walk during a flare up but my ex insisted I went anyway.  I’ve a lcwa interview or call on 6th March and I’m so worried about it. It’s over the phone.  X
  • SueHeath
    SueHeath Community member Posts: 12,420 Disability Gamechanger
    edited February 2023
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    Bless you - i really do feel for you, you sound like life has given you a hard time darling, sorry i'm no expert on all the benifit side of things, our Poppy knows all that sort of stuff. How would you feel about packing up work ? 

    Stay safe and strong 
  • punchnJudy64
    punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
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    Thank you very much xx
  • punchnJudy64
    punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
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    Sue Heath. Part of me would love to but I’m don’t think I can afford to. I don’t really understand the benefits system to be honest. Like I’ve said, I’ve a lcwa interview or something on 6th March. I’ve been to work this morning and I’m now unable to get up from my sofa lol . No fun getting older is it lol c
  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
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    Hi @punchnJudy64

    Just to let you know, I've sent you a little email (nothing to worry about), if you could read it and get back to us when you have time.

    Take care and I hope you have a lovely weekend.
    Online Community Co-ordinator

    Want to tell us about your experience on the online community?  Talk to our chatbot and let us know.

    Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
  • punchnJudy64
    punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
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    Thank you. I’ll take a look x
  • punchnJudy64
    punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
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    I have replied. Thank you
  • SueHeath
    SueHeath Community member Posts: 12,420 Disability Gamechanger
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    Bless you @PunchnJudy64 i really do feel for you, it's very hard trying to struggle on with work etc when our body's start letting us down, i'm the same with benifits, didn't know anything till i joined the forum, so hopefully you will get all the help once you know what you can claim for, i wish you well.
  • punchnJudy64
    punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
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    Thank you so very much x
  • SueHeath
    SueHeath Community member Posts: 12,420 Disability Gamechanger
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    That's okay, have you been to work this morning darling ?
  • punchnJudy64
    punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
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    Thank you so very much x I only work Monday to Friday. I’ve been off quite a bit but I need to get my act together . Thank you for ur messages. It does definitely help because I won’t moan to family x
  • L_Volunteer
    L_Volunteer Community Volunteer Adviser, Scope Member Posts: 7,983 Disability Gamechanger
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    What does getting your act together look like for you at the moment @punchnJudy64? It's absolutely ok to have times when you struggle more than other times.

    You can absolutely talk to us and I am really glad to hear you don't feel like you have to be alone, especially during such a difficult time for you  :)
    Community Volunteer Adviser with professional knowledge of education, special educational needs and disabilities and EHCP's. Pronouns: She/her. 

    Please note: if I use the online community outside of its hours of administration, I am doing so in a personal capacity only.
  • punchnJudy64
    punchnJudy64 Community member Posts: 233 Pioneering
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    gett getting my act together is feeling stronger, taking better control of my life. Until I got with him I was a strong, outgoing person who worked hard for every penny I got to bring my children up and pay for my home. I feel like a shell of my former self, I now lack confidence, struggling to work due to long term steroid use( for addissons disease) with osteoarthritis and I struggle to be along in a room with a man including the doctors. I make myself mad, only I can do this. 
    Well that’s how I see it and thank you for the support x
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