Does anyone else feel guilt for being on benefits?

bbt

I’ve been really struggling with guilt and paranoia these past few months. I claim LCWRA, and have done so for about two years. My guilt around benefits has seriously gotten worse as I have been struggling with ME/CFS for close to a year now and am going through test upon test about it, but to the point;

I know I’m eligible for these benefits because I wouldn’t receive them if that wasn’t the case, but any time I spend money on a new t-shirt or a takeaway on days I can’t stand long enough to cook, I feel immense guilt. Like I don’t deserve it, or that the DWP will see that I’m buying ‘inessential’ things and remove my benefits; I live in constant fear of my benefits being taken away. My partner has suggested I put in a new claim for ADP as my initial rejected claim a year ago was before I developed ME/CFS, but the idea of having spare income (if I were to be accepted,) when so many don’t makes me feel like such scum. Does anyone else relate? I feel so isolated and confused, I’m completely at the mercy of a government who would rather see me suffer than thrive, who could strip my only source of income away at any moment.

JessieJ

I did 31 years ago, not long after the life changing accident & operations that caused me to claim them & still do on occasion, especially after reading nasty comments about benefit claimants, whether aimed at disabled or not.

bbt

Thank you all for your responses; it really helps to know I’m not alone in feeling like this. Things are a struggle right now, especially with the way the media and government is treating the long-term sick and disabled, but places like Scope give me a little bit of respite knowing I’m actually going to be listened to ❤️ 

andrewkuk

I know exactly how you feel as I have had sixty operations since the age of two and I was made to give up a job I loved in the NHS a few years ago. I always felt I had to work harder and be better at my job, throughout my career than my colleagues just to prove I could do the job to the same standards as an abled person. I also constantly worry about losing my benefits but I'm mainly bed-bound now. My wife and daughter are my amazing carers. I worked from the age of sixteen until 2015 when I was made to take ill health retirement. I had to see three separate consultants to get my NHS ill health pension yet had to fight to get ESA! I miss working terribly and the satisfaction of doing a good job. Like others have said we all worked and paid our tax and national insurance contributions so we shouldn't feel guilty but that's easy to say. I'm currently sitting at the hospital for yet another appointment and hoping for a reason for my current situation can be explained and hopefully fixed. We shouldn't feel guilty as it's there for everyone who is not well enough to work. 

Agnia

Hi , i feel very quilty to claim benefits 

bookrabbit

I don't feel guilty about it but I do feel judged and humiliated and disbelieved. I know the truth of what I am experiencing and the difficulties I have but I feel dismissed and disregarded by the people out there looking down from their pedestals who would begrudge me a roof over my head and food to eat. 
Money is a cycle. People on benefits using it doesn't make it disappear. It goes around and gets used and actually benefits the entire system. There is no reason to feel guilty for taking part in the economy. If politicians were sensible they would enact a citizens wage and stop all this demeaning means testing and the incredible drain it places on people's mental health and focus on what people can do not on what they can't. People need and want to be doing things. Give them a truly supportive environment and the security of a roof over their heads and enough to pay for necessities and they will live up to their potential rather than get flattened by the humiliation of the current process. 

Rosie_Scope

Hi @bbt, you're not alone in feeling this. I've definitely felt guilt in the past, especially because I became disabled as a child and it's unlikely that I'll ever pay into the system what I've taken out of it. It's hard sometimes to exist in a world that is so focused on your economic value, and the way benefits are talked about in the media often doesn't help either. 

I'm not sure I have any advice to add, but I hope our little community can offer some support and solidarity when times get difficult. We're always here if you need to rant about things or get things off your chest

OverlyAnxious

Yes, I do feel guilty about it.  I put it off claiming for as long as I could but eventually had no other choice.  I've also never worked a full time job due to health conditions so haven't paid into the system first like many other people have.

Ollyoyster

I think you sound like a lovely person and you should not feel guilty in the slightest,  enjoy your life the best you can and if that means askin for help then so be it,,  xxxx your not on your own, xxx

Commanded2bwell

I completely understand what you mean, and have sometimes felt the same way, but have been routinely told off for feeling this way by friends and family, and they're right, you know! I receive PIP (ADP to you) and am also LCWRA, but for a so-called hidden condition. I pass for normal at casual inspection. This includes every morning looking in the mirror. There are many times I've wondered if I'm faking it, or have convinced myself or have blagged my way onto benefits by medicalising personality flaws... but I do have problems, I do have serious limits, I cannot effectively operate in society and I have long history of crises, failures and public humiliations that prove to myself and those close to me that I do have a problem.

Look at it this way: we don't have a problem, society does. It's society that requires us to be able to behave and think and act and work in certain defined ways, and it's society that is unwilling to flex and accommodate anyone who deviates from a rigidly established definition of 'normal'. So society owes us. It owes us payback and support for all the hell it's inflicted on us because we weren't perfect off-the-shelf instagram success stories.

You do you, mate, and just write it all off as yet another day on planet Earth. You've got plenty to contribute. It's other people's problem if they can't see that.

Ironside1990

If the money helps you live an easy life in a society that puts up barriers for disabled people, then please don't feel guilty.

Alan0913

Do I feel guilty claiming benefits. I have just recently applied for pip. My wife claims pip, also a very good friend. Who have both told me to claim pip as I am worse than them. I had a very serious accident along time ago. Mt foot was severed from my leg. I have lost alot of movement in my leg, seen things in hospital that made it look like a cut finger. I did 37 years in the army, get a good pension, I am due my state pension next month. I have never claimed any benefits in my life. I have suffered over the years with my ankle. Just got on with it. Thinking there are people worse off than me. I am possibly having my ankle fused in the next couple of months. I have applied for PIP,  I am waiting for a result. I have got my head around it, by thinking I am only applying for something I am entitled too. I should of done this years ago, but I was too proud. Worked through the pain, hobbled round the house. Went upstairs on one leg and one knee sometimes. I think PIP is a lottery. But if I am entitled, then why not apply for benefits. 

onebigvoice

woodbine said:

I take a different view I have to say, I see it that we have a welfare state (not perfect but it is what it is) and that we are protected from "cradle to grave" for most of us it works well, personally I had to give up work 25 years ago before I was 40 and we took the attitude that my health came before wealth, but we have never done too badly, I couldn't care less what the DWP think about what I spend MY money on it's not their business and they have never once queried it.
Yes benefits are never guaranteed but millions of people in the UK depend on benefits either because they don't have a job, are sick or disabled or just to top up low paid jobs.
My advice for what its worth is to apply for ADP and if you do I hope you get it.

I agree @woodbine.  When I first became Disabled the world fell out of my little protected globe that also protected my family as a main earner.  I found in one stroke of a pen, I was a physically fit and health person to some one who, if you don't mind me saying as this has to be said, I could not even go to the Loo without help.  It was absolutely soul destroying.  Through loosing parents into the mix and benefits being stopped to to whether I was on the right benefit or not and further operations, I wondered how I survived.  SUPPORT, not only from NHS and benefits but from family and friends.  Many who know me realise that its not been plain sailing when it comes to benefits and have had many appearances in Tribunals where the DWP/PIPS/Capita Assessments have not gone well, even after winning.  As it seems even then the Decision Maker will still decide what you get.  The Tribunal is a guide to the DWP and normally they will take on board what the Tribunal will say.  But, the charter says the Tribunal cannot enforce that decision, and in some cases like mine will have to ask for a FOI and another MR if not enforced at a Tribunal as this then becomes a civil matter as long as DWP admit an error.
  That said, if you have been diagnosed with an illness that requires you to claim extra benefits for support then its not only about, being able to afford a takeaway, or that you spend money on a little treat like smoking or a drink of wine, or the new sky package.  Yes many would say that was a luxuary but what if you were bed bound and had to have home help to cook for you or bed bath you?
  Each case is different.  Hidden Illnesses are worse and do require extra help, but for some one looking in on your world they see someone that looks like they are fudgging the system.
  It seems that unless it happens to you or you become one of us and are disabled in any way from the norm, what ever that is, you would not understand the help that may be required.
  My final word, if you are entitled to it then persue the claim, and 1.  They will check every claim anyway before paying you.  2.  You may become worse, and may not have anyones help (family/friends) that would understand what benefits to claim on your behalf. 

Jonnyc

Whether you spend or save, the DWP do not have a specific remit for checking up on how your welfare payments are being used ( unless of course it is for some sort of nefarious / criminal business that has been flagged up ) Their role is to make sure you always comply with the benefit entitlement criteria - perhaps the most important of which being the savings/capital rules.

We have a system designed to be there when needed - do not feel guilty. It is all about 'entitlement'. 

Best wishes 

Butterfliess

I feel guilty for claiming benefits, I think it’s a self worth thing too. I think because some of my disabilities are “hidden” it makes me often feel like a fake to others. But most of all, it’s the way the system makes you feel when claiming benefits. 

Through jt all though, I try to find gratitude.🙏 being grateful for what I do get even if it’s at times difficult helps.
i must say, this place really helps, a place for support and questions ☺️ even if I don’t comment much I like to read, it’s nice to see a little part of the world helping each other . 

luvpink

No I do not feel guilty at all.
I worked for years and paid taxes and NI until I became too unwell.
I do feel its disgusting the way we are repeatedly dragged through repeated reassesments and constantly having to prove that we meet criteria and living in fear that we may have our awards removed or reduced even though we have proven that we do actually qualify.
Each time I have had a pip assesment, I have had my mobility component reduced and I have had to go to MR and enlist the assistance of my MP.
It just adds unecessary stress, anxiety and takes a huge toll on our health.
Last time I had a pip assesment the HP report was full of innacuracies.
The decision remained the same at MR and I applied to go to a tribunal but the dwp changed their mind before it got that far.
The offered me a three year award and  I told them that I was happy with the components but I was hoping for a longer length award given my long term disabilty and the impact on my ability to function.
I was eventually granted a five year award.

Binky1234

I used too but not now, as I've came to realise that I'm ill. The only thing I feel guilty about is not using the mobilty money on a car but for me a car does not suit my needs atm as I very rarely go out and never on my own always have hubby with me. Although we do use the mobilty for MOTs, don't apply for the road tax as its only £20.00 a year, but yes I can relate to feeling guilty as I used to feel really guilty when I had to give up working. I think the trouble people have is many illnesses are so called invisible. I used to say when my crohns was playing up I wish my ear would change colour so people couldn't say I was acting it, or money for nothing thankfully I have a fabulous family who helped me see sence. We can't help what others think but we can learn to ignore the haters.

MW123

I find it hard to understand why anyone would feel guilty about receiving benefits. We consistently pay taxes through everyday transactions like buying food, clothes, or even getting a takeaway meal, indirectly supporting the general taxation fund through VAT. 

These transactions not only maintain jobs but also fund essential public services like the NHS, welfare benefits, and education through general taxation. Even if someone is not employed, they still make a valuable contribution to society through these means.

Jimm_Alumni

MW123 said:

I find it hard to understand why anyone would feel guilty about receiving benefits. We consistently pay taxes through everyday transactions like buying food, clothes, or even getting a takeaway meal, indirectly supporting the general taxation fund through VAT. 

These transactions not only maintain jobs but also fund essential public services like the NHS, welfare benefits, and education through general taxation. Even if someone is not employed, they still make a valuable contribution to society through these means.

For me I have historically struggled with feeling like a burden to people around me. I think it's maybe tied with that. 

Just to clarify, I don't feel guilty about it anymore! But when I was younger it was definitely a reason I avoided telling people about my health issues and avoided applying for benefits.

MW123

It's encouraging to hear that you've moved past those feelings of guilt, Jimm!  No one should ever feel guilty or ashamed about asking for and receiving help. Whether someone has worked all their life or has never been able to work, if they need support, that's what it's there for.

In my opinion, welfare benefits aren't generous enough, and recipients should never be judged for how they use their entitled money. That's the essence of a compassionate society it extends support to the vulnerable and those facing tough times.

jadeyb

I get you! I too feel guilty and almost disgusted with myself! But I believe this is due to my illness as I too am paranoid and suffer survere depression and anxiety I question myself all day everyday! It’s so draining! I know I’m entitled but at the same time this little voice chips away at me saying I don’t deserve this money I’m no good etc  I haven’t even received a payment yet! So god knows how ill feel then probably worse! But yes I totally get you!