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Appointee

Ikonik

Sensitive issue. Please be kind.

My son is 18 and I am his appointee. He keeps bringing cannabis to our home. He gets £300 UC a month (pays us £100 a month board). The £200 he has -its all gone in 2 days on drug debts. He has a UC work coach but is consistency refusing to work. He agreed to attend a short course but refused to register which has means he has been NEET for 8 months. The jobcentre say he won't be sanctioned or expected to look for work. Yes he has ADHD but needs to gain independence as we won't be around to watch over him forever! My husband and I are exhausted with trying to help him but he continues to with friends all day+night with no responsibility whatsoever. Has anyone had a similar situation and how did you address it ?

Thank you

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Comments

Mary_Scope

Hi @Ikonik

It sounds like you are in really stressful situation and it's completely understandable why are exhausted.

His cannabis use and associated debt sound like a challenging issue. Is he having support for his drug use? If not, then it I would recommend contacting your local drug and alcohol service. They can usually offer assessment, harm reduction advice, and access to treatment programs.

While the job centre isn't currently sanctioning him, this isn't a long-term solution. Do you know if they have spoke to him about supported options? This could include supported internships which combine work experience with training and support, specifically designed for young people with additional needs or specialized training courses.

You and your husband are going through a lot, do you have a support network round you?

ADHD Aware and ADHD UK both have have support groups for parents of adults with ADHD and a facebook pages which can be useful places for peer support.

This situation is incredibly challenging, but you're not alone and hopefully some of our parents and carers on this forum who have experienced a similar situation will reach out and offer support.

Hope this was helpful, please reach out if you have more questions or would like further support.