Hi, my name is NannieAnnx5! I'm hoping I can get some help/ advice to pass on.

NannieAnnx5

I'm hoping I can get some help/ advice to pass on.

I have a grandchild who has a disabled mum and has periods of chronic pain, she tries at all costs for him to be aware which has a huge impact on her energy levels.

Her little boy is often aware and at such times he becomes emotional, very demanding of her no one else will do and sometimes becomes defiant and naughty.

It is very obvious he worries about his mummy, he is a kind and caring little boy.

Where can we get help fpt him to cope with his emotions and anxieties?

Any help would be appreciated.

Many thanks

Nannie Ann

Kimmy87

The NHS has some information on how and where to get help:

https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/children-and-young-adults/mental-health-support/

Mary_Scope

Hi @NannieAnnx5 and a warm welcome the community!

It's great that you're reaching out for support for your family. You sound like a very supportive and loving grandparent. It’s completely understandable why your grandson is experiencing these emotions. Children are very perceptive and it's natural for him to react to his mum's pain. Especially, as like you said he is a kind and caring little boy which in the long term will be very positive qualities as he learns to cope with this situation.

I am wondering if you would class your grandson as a young carer? If you think he is then it may be worth chatting to his mother about potentially registering him as one. You can usually do this by contacting your local authority or a dedicated young carers service in your area.

Once he is registered as a young carer, he should be invited to activities/days outs/groups if its appropriate that are exclusively for young carers. This may help some of his anxiety as he will learn that there are other children of a similar age having similar experiences so he is not alone.

Similarly, there are books out there that are specifically written to help children understand chronic illness in a parent. I have heard good things about this book specifically. Your local library may have a couple or even your grandsons school may have some to borrow.

There are also practical anxiety strategies to try with you grandson such as different types of breathing exercises, calming music etc. A lot of these may be trial and error until you find the right calming activity for him so it is worth noting what strategies you have tried so far to help with his emotions and anxieties and what impact they have had.

There is also some good information and activities for children on emotional regulation and anxiety here and here.

If your grandsons anxiety worsens or if his behaviour becomes more challenging due to his emotions and anxiety then it is definitely worth chatting to the GP about a Children And Mental Health (CAMHS) referral as this is the service that helps children who have emotional, behavioural and mental health difficulties.

If you grandson is in school then it is worth having a chat with his teachers and/or SENCO about his anxiety and asking if it would be possible for him to have Emotional Literacy Support Assistant (ELSA). ELSA support can be really beneficial for children who have anxiety and find it difficult to control their emotions.

Hope this was helpful, please reach out if you would have more questions or would like further support😀