Please please give me some advice 🙏

trayxc

Hi guys,

I posted on here a few weeks back about my autistic daughter and got lots of advice.. so here goes...

My daughter is 10 years old and has several learning difficulties and severe school anxiety. She has a EHCP in place, which is not helping with her anxiety. Every day is a struggle to get her to school and every day she cries while she's there. She goes into a small thrive group in the morning that she can just about cope with... but the afternoons in big class are getting more and more difficult for her, with the noise and busyness. The last week before half term she started having bad panic attacks and had to be sent home. Due to this I asked for more help from school, and asked if maybe she could have a reduced timetable and finish after shes been with her 1-1 in the afternoons and they have said no and that i need to keep pushing her in 😪 which is easier said than done.

Anyway she's been worrying all this week about going back into school Monday and even more she's worried she's going to have another panic attack, so she's getting herself in such a state. So I've spoke to my partner and it's something we have been thinking about for a while... home education. We have decided it would probably be best to take her out of school and educate her at home.. I work from home so I can work around her. The problem is I just keep doubting it 🙈 one day I'm all for it and then next day I'm worried I'm doing the right thing for her. I know deep in my heart it is because she isn't learning much at school as she's always so upset, but she does have a couple of good friends and teachers that she has become quite close to and she says she will miss them🥲.

Could you guys give me any advise and put my mind at ease.. if any of you have gone through the same and did it go OK? Would keeping her in school be the best for her, like the school keeping telling me? I just want to do the best thing possible for her.

Sorry for the long post guys ❤️ thank you for reading.

anisty

Hi, so sorry you're having to go through this and the school is not being supportive.

Has she a diagnosis of autism/adhd/both?

What is the nature of her learning disability - what assessments has she had and what's been shown?

I am not up on the education provision in England as I live in Scotland. I would have thought, though, that if your daughter has diagnosed cognitive difficulties that the education service has a legal responsibility to provide a service that meets her needs.

Has she an educational psychologist involved? What does ed psych say about how education should be delivered?

Ed psychs aren't always great at knowing your child as an individual but they are usually clued up on legal provisions so it might be worth calling your daughter's ed psych and discussing what's happening at school.

We have an advice line here in Scotland that helps parents get together all the info they need to challenge schools and i'm sure England will have something too.

I do think you need to exhaust all avenues before removing your daughter but pushing her into a situation is not going to do her any good at all so home ed is certainly something to consider seriously. Bad school experiences do damage children long term and home educating is certainly becoming more popular so you might find a community in your area of home educating parents for support and meet ups in your area.

I kept all my kids in school and it really was quite the battle at times. My son, now 28yrs old, has awful school memories (more so from his teenage years) but he has successfully managed to fit into a work environment (he is autistic with his own agenda and ideas that really did not fit into state education!) I do wonder if he would be able to hold down a full time job so easily if he had been home educated. I like to think all the years of getting up, dressed in uniform and conforming to a timetable did actually help him function in society as an adult.

So - a lot to think about but certainly arm yourself with all the facts before taking action.

Mary_Scope

Hi @trayxc

It does sound like a tricky situation and it's very understandable that you're experiencing a rollercoaster of emotions

If you haven't already then it is definitely worth contacting your local SENDIASS. These are impartial education specialists who are good to go to for education  information, support, questions etc or if you have any trouble or difficulties with your daughters school, can help set up meetings and attend them, EHCP support. As they are local to you, they may know more about any home school groups in your area where your daughter could still socialise.

There is also IPSEA who are the legal experts when it comes to education in England. They also have lots of resources on their website as well as a free helpline for information and advice.

It may be worth contacting one or both of of those organisations before making the deicison to homeschool just to make sure you have exhausted all your options at school as homeschooling can be a big adjustment and can often be a last resort when school just isn't an option anymore. There is also some good information about home educating autistic children on that website.

Hopefully your post will resonate with some more parents on the community as it has with Anisty and they will their stories and their experience of homeschooling with you.

It is definitely a big decision to make so hopefully hearing more will help you make your decision!😀