11 year old that has severe anxiety and is currently being assessed for ASD/ADHD

spideyweb_76

Hello everyone new to this group. I am a single parent to an 11 year old that has severe anxiety and is currently being assessed for ASD/ADHD. I'm struggling everyday especially with her school and getting her there. It's so hard especially when she has meltdowns, I feel hopeless and like a useless mum most of the time. Every day is a struggle especially trying to juggle my job too. She has some counselling sessions booked in, but she had some last year and it didn't make any difference so not holding out much hope this time. Has anyone got any advice on coping mechanisms or where to turn to? Sorry for the long post and thanks for reading this far!

Mary_Scope

Sensory processing checklist.docx

Sensory processing strategies.docx

Hi @spideyweb_76 and a warm welcome to the community!

It's completely understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed and hopeless at times. You are definitely not a useless mum. You're a mum who is doing her absolute best in a very difficult situation and trying her best to get her daughter help and support.

Do you know what triggers your daughters meltdowns? If you're not sure or it is difficult to tell and feel like she goes from 0-100 then it is definitely worth keeping a behaviour diary to see if there is any common patterns or triggers.

I have also attached a sensory processing checklist and corresponding strategies that I hope will be helpful in identifying any sensory difficulties your daughter may have and offer some strategies.

When children aren't constantly overwhelmed by those things, they can handle more before they get dysregulated. It's like their stress bucket isn't already nearly full, so they've got more room to cope with everything else. So if you're able to notice when your daughter is getting dysregulated or she is able to herself then by implementing a sensory strategy will hopefully reduce the amount and intensity of her meltdowns as she is finding ways to regulate herself.

Does your daughter have any support in school? Or has she said why she finds school and going there very difficult or do you have any theories? If you haven’t already, it is definitely worth asking for a meeting with the SENCO and talking about the situation and seeing if there is anything any additional support they may be able to.

Not Fine in School is a good website for parents who have children that find it very difficult to go to school and there is good information here and here is some good information on supporting an autistic child who finds it too difficult to attend school .

I know some parents of autistic children find support groups as a helpful way to cope as it is a place of mutual support and understanding. You can usually find them on your local offer or on your local your local parent carer forum facebook page.

There is also Listening Ear which is a great service for parents and carers of disabled children looking for emotional support and reassurance. The parent advisers are all parents of disabled children as well as lots of professional experience and you can book an appointment online. You will be able to talk to the adviser about how you are feeling and get some support for yourself.

Autistic Girls Network is also a great website for information on autism and girls and it also looks like they have started face to face groups in certain parts of England as well as well as family workshops for a small fee.

I have edited the title of your post to make it easier for other parents of autistic children to find this post and offer some peer support as I know we have a lot of parents of autistic children on the forum, hope thats okay.

I hope this was helpful, it sounds like you are doing your absolute best to help your daughter and are being a great advocate for her!

Please let me know if you would like any more information or support or have further questions😄