Disabled father with autistic son fleeing from abuser needs advice

thespiceman

Hello @Blakespops Please can I ask have you ever looked at any of the links that I had  given you a lot of advice, guidance and information in your current situation..
When you first joined the community.
Also my friends   @chiarieds and @newborn   have given you a lot of reassurance and some links to finding support.
As a community champion I am happy to be supportive.
Just some one who cares and had concern.
I do understand what your experiencing .  Never easy a situation and a problem your in.
I would like you if you can to take some time to look at the links in the post. I sent you. You might ended up with a lot of information, guidance, support.
Supporting you, might have some assisting you.
Please if you need these again pleas ask me happy to add again no problems.
Please if you need to ask anything please do. I can hopefully answer or contact one of the team to ask them .Either SCOPE or one of the community champions one member have exceptional knowledge of benefits.
Please can I stress you are not alone, what is important is finding the correct advice and guidance. I know a stressful, anxious times.
If you are feeling anxiety or your son is I can give you a organisation to contact, offer a lot.
Please take care.
@thespiceman

newborn

Isnt spiceman lovely?!

thespiceman

Hello @newborn you made a gentleman blush if your screen going red it is me the other side lol.

Blakespops

Hi @thespiceman

Yes thank you the links for Salvation Army was what got me to a local place that has lined up help for us when we get the flat they are going to be offering us.

 I have been in contact with shelter twice and they are getting some legal group to contact us with regards to the advice we have received although they have been two weeks almost with no response. I just don’t want to pester them and allow them the time to respond as they have said that they will.

 I have been focusing my efforts on the housing and benefits for now as they seem the most important things to do. The emotional issues I am going through can wait as helping my son is more important to me. I have been trying to get new activity groups and events for him as her son went to some of the ones that Blake was going to. I simply don’t want him to be isolated from people his own age. This week he’s managed to complete the young leader training for the scouts and he now has his leader neckerchief.

via one of the other links and comments I contacted adult social services care team and I am going to have them assess my needs and then see what they can do to help. 

I am so grateful for all the help and support you have been giving us each and every person that has replied. The advice of us playing our cards right and moving to Nottingham is something that I will most definitely be checking out on Monday. 

I have a note book that I am using to note my todos and keeping records of what I have done because some days something happens and that makes me think of her or somehow it effects me so that I am unable to focus on anything and I get fearful of shadows or something equally silly. I loved the analogy that I was a battery chicken freed as it made me laugh yet was so true. Being just me and Blake I am not wanting to do anything but be strong and there for hit yet I miss having people that I can actually sit and chat with over a coffee about it. I know that this situation is not but a little tiny second that will soon be over and we will have a new chapter of life that we have control over and she’s got no more hold in our lives but this dot of time is one that took my friends too as we had joint friends I would never try to talk about it to them as they would be being given a choice to be on the side of one or the other and they deserve far more than being dragged into it by me or anyone.

 I will try and see if any coffee mornings or other activities are available for meeting new people/friends locally on Monday too.

again I can’t say thank you for the help support and encouragement you have all shown us xxx

newborn

Us hens must learn good clucking!

thespiceman

Hello @Blakespops   Thank you for sharing, please if I can help with anything.
Please get in touch.
Happy to be supportive pleased for you and just let you know you have friends here.
I was just concerned have a lot of time and do care for those going this situation your re in.  
Having had a history myself so I can and do identify  every thing your saying.
No one from our community wishes to hear your struggling, emotionally.
If you ever did please let me know. Contact one of the SCOPE team who be able to help you.
Part of my role I do as a community champion is to ask SCOPE team can you contact this member see how we can help them, do this a lot.
Just to reassurance you that is something we do as community champions and the SCOPE team.
Please take care.
Wish your son the best hope you and him are coping OK.
In prayers and thoughts.
@thespiceman

thespiceman

Hello @Blakespops   How have you been, I have been thinking about your situation.
There is a charity called Richmond Fellowship that deals with mental health issues. Your son could qualify as he is autistic know would help.
I have no ever asked you do you have any mental health issues or anxiety or depression, I say this.
I know do have a lot to offer including the following.
Mental health support workers, welfare assistance and form filling in, plus attendance at any meetings. Do also have their own housing advisors and lots of aspects of wellbeing.
Worth a look.
https://www.richmondfellowship.org.uk.
Might not be in all areas double check.
If not use this other one.
https://www.mind.org.uk.
or https://www.rethink.org.
There a charity deals with advocates interventions of health issues relating to mental health, medical professionals not helping you.
Speak on your behalf.
Please if that helps please use them, often a excellent source of signposting and relevant organisations, information.
Please take care.
@thespiceman

chiarieds

Hi @Blakespops - I'm just wondering how you both are doing. I hope Blake enjoyed his recent birthday!

Were Scope able to help you in any way? I do hope so.

Just to let you know you are still in my thoughts, & it would be lovely to hear from you if you can manage.

 

Blakespops

Hi all, Blake’s had a good birthday. 

We are still not sorted out yet for benefits. Both ESA and UC are messing us around to the point that CAB is going to be putting in an official complaint and possibly take legal action. I am in receipt of the severe disability premium on my housing benefits claim and I therefore should be able to get ESA but ESA says that I have to claim UC. At the same time UC say that I can’t claim it as I am getting the severe disability premium. Claimed 8th November and I am still running around sorting it out.

chiarieds

Hi @Blakespops - Great to hear that Blake enjoyed his birthday, & thank you for replying. How is your housing situation going?

I'll ask another member here who has a great understanding of benefits to see if she can help you. @poppy123456, I would be grateful if you could help here. Blake's dad has been in a dreadful situation fleeing physical abuse with his son, & so much more. Please may you advise.

Blakespops

thespiceman

Hello  @Blakespops    pleased to meet you again, sorry to hear you have problems with the benefit situation.

Please can I ask did you look at anytime the links I provided for you.

All have benefit advisors.

This one is another organisation you can use.

https://www.turn2us.org.uk.

Helps with any thing benefits.

Please I hope my friend can help you deserve all the support and advice we can give, please one other point your not alone.

We as a community are here.  To  support you.   Please if you have any questions.

Please ask.

Please take care.

@thespiceman

Blakespops

Neil at citizens advice is dealing with it as per his email above. He is livid with the DWP. 

We’re now in interim accommodation and it’s a great place that we would love to be permanent if we were not just about a mile away from my abusing ex partner. 

I have been in contact with some of the people in the list and I have also been involved with the police over things to do with ex’s family making threatening comments that I have managed to get on camera where I was told that I would be in hospital or the ground soon. 

I have been reclusive since I bumped into him in the town centre. 

poppy123456

HI,

I'm one of the community champions here at scope.

Thanks for the tag @chiarieds

I'm sorry to hear everything you're going through and happy to hear your son had a lovely birthday.

As you are having help from your local CAB and they are in contact with DWP and your local JCP then there's really nothing i can advise you with. There should be no reason why you're being refused legacy ESA because you have the SDP added to your housing benefit.

All i can say really is that i hope your local CAB can sort this issue out for you very soon. Sometimes DWP are their own worst enemy.

Do let us know the outcome and i wish you and your son best wishes for the future and a peaceful Christmas and New year.

Blakespops

Hi, thanks for your confirmation that we should be able to get the legacy ESA. 7 weeks of them being a tennis team and I am just the ball is getting to be a pain. As if we haven’t already got enough to deal with without them messing around with us.

 I will have an update after I have been to see them at 11 am tomorrow 

Blakespops

Hi all,

been to the job centre and I was told that esa is refusing to do anything because I am not getting SDP with housing benefits so I called housing benefits whilst sat there and had them confirmed that I was getting it and the dates for that. I was then told to phone UC SDP special number for confirmation of what I should be claiming to be told to call esa and tell them to take my claim and when I did they have said that I have to stay with UC. And so another day wasted being messed about.

chiarieds

So sorry to read that this debacle continues; it must be driving you nuts!

Would just like to add my best wishes that you & Blake enjoy your Christmas, & have a much happier New Year. Things have got to get better!

Blakespops

Maybe I should wait until next year and then they will have 2020 vision to see what a@@holes they are being lol