In a really bad place right now really nneed my friends on here

woodbine

Would agree that you need to speak to someone about her, maybe her boss?
Good that you are being looked after and have had some rest x

cupcake88

I Want to thank every one for all your support and kindness but it’s time for me to go now and be with my grandad there’s no hope for me any more . I have reached out for support and been left like I’m nothing I now don’t even feel like I have a team any more I feel very let down by the services But they will have my death on there hands , 

janer1967

@cupcake88 I know things are really hard but think of those you love and the future you have planned with your partner 

It isn't time to go anywhere other than urgent support get to a&e

Or go to bed and cuddle up with those you love  

chiarieds

@cupcake88 - there's always hope, please believe me. After we lost our youngest daughter, & I can't begin to say how hard that was, my life took a very different path to that I'd imagined, & tho I would wish it different in so many ways, my remaining children give me so much joy; so much to live for.

It's not your time to be with your Grandad; would he wish that? You have been let down very badly today, but you are far from nothing. I hope you know how much you mean to us all; we need you, your partner overall needs & loves you. Hang onto that, please. Your death won't help, you're voice in talking about mental health will. Stay safe my lovely friend, xx

Lisatho11987777

@cupcake88 I know how you feel I have been there its not worth it you have people who love and care for you and they would miss you you are a fighter you have come back from it before and you can do it again 

Life is short enough stay strong get through the otherwise and take small steps to recover I have learnt in life you have to depend on your self to help yourself and get stronger from what you have said about your partner they have stuck by you and love and care for you  you can do this thinking of you and as always available if you need to chat ? 

Tori_Scope

Hi all,

I just wanted to reassure you that we've reached out to cupcake88 privately. 

If you're experiencing any suicidal thoughts or feelings, please remember that you can contact the following organisations:

• Samaritans: call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
• SHOUT: text SHOUT to 85258 to speak to a volunteer over text
• Emergency services: please call 999 or visit A&E in the case of an emergency, including if you feel unable to keep yourself safe

If you'd like to speak to the community team privately, you can email us on community@scope.org.uk. 

cupcake88

Hi every one i attempted suicide again as I felt there was no help for me I spent the night in hospital there was no mental health hospital for me to go too any where in the country no beds any where and some places are shut due to having covid . So my team was told to contact me more the same nurse I can’t stand . She called me today and I told her how rude she is and she’s not welcome in my house and she said she has thick skin and I need a care co and I said no I need some one caring some one who enjoys there job and knows how to speak to people . She said she was coming out to see me Monday but I won’t be opening the door to her I don’t trust her nor do I trust me team any more . 

Thanks for sharing your own personal stories with me and for all being my amazing friends who have been with me threw out my mental illness from home to hospital my friends on here have been amazing so thanks to you all xx

Libby_Alumni

@cupcake88 I've reached out to you privately, so please check your messages on there . We are all here for you and want to support you as a community. 

I would also like to reiterate @Tori_Scope's comment about any suicidal thoughts or feelings. If you are experiencing these types of thoughts, please remember that you can reach out to the following organisations:

• Samaritans: call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org
• SHOUT: text SHOUT to 85258 to speak to a volunteer over text
• Emergency services: please call 999 or visit A&E in the case of an emergency, including if you feel unable to keep yourself safe. 

chiarieds

Hi @cupcake88 - I'm so pleased to hear from you, but not like this. Please try to get your fight back so you can build up trust with your team. Tell them it makes perfect sense that you don't want a nurse in your home that makes you feel worse. As you say, you need someone who truly cares.

You know how much you can help on the community; it's all the better for having yourself who has talked openly about their mental health issues, which then helps others. Just trying to say the community is all the better for having you as such a kind & considerate member, who gives valuable input; you're needed here too.

You know how much you wanted to be home for Christmas, & I do so want for that to be a reality. Look after yourself, & tho I'm sorry it can be a fight, fight for the help you need so you can feel supported at home.

Now, what are your plans for Christmas Day? Who will be cooking, & what have you decided to have? Mine is still a surprise, as my son hasn't told me what he's decided to cook. Thankfully he doesn't like sprouts either, so they won't be on the 'menu.' I'm just going to enjoy the company, & being looked after......only the 2nd time in more years than I'd like to mention that I haven't cooked a Christmas dinner. The first time was when I invited my next door neighbours as their oven wasn't working. It wasn't until they arrived that I thought what am I doing cooking for a chef, & his wife, who also worked in hospitality? Thankfully it went well.....phew!

Remember, you can have a lovely Christmas too, xx

cupcake88

Thanks for all the kind words I’m back in a n e again and there must be a bed some where in the uk . I will travel any where to get the help because if I go home I’ll end up dead because I just can’t keep my self safe and my partner can’t watch me 24/7 . 

In hospital at Least you get the 24 hour support and the medication you need but I won’t go to a particularly hospital I was in before any where part from there I’m waiting again to see the mental health team but there’s a chance they could send me home again as there could be no beds again in the country then what do I do then if there’s no help again x 

cupcake88

I hope my posts don’t trigger any one I like to be honest as I can on this forum with what I go threw living with mental illness I like to share my experience to not only update my friends but to help others who read my posts . Never be scared to reach out for help  , 

chiarieds

Hi @cupcake88 - sorry you're back in A & E again, but if you get a bed somewhere (other than that horrible hospital), then as you say you'll get that all important care you're needing right now.

If you do come home, then please do fight for the appropriate care you need. Could you also contact your GP to help with this?

Thank you for your update, & please do let us know how you get on. I can't begin to imagine what you're going through, but, as you say, you too should reach out for help.....there is help my friend, & there's always hope. As you know, thinking about you as always, & I hold you in my prayers, xx

janer1967

Sorry your back at hospital it really is unbelievable there are no beds available throughout the country and I'm really sorry you are in this situation 

Keep us updated we are all concerned for your welfare 

Take care 

cupcake88

Hi every one I have been assed by the mental health team here and there going to be phoning round to find beds they said there was none this morning when they were calling round for some one else . But any thing could of happened some one could of discharged them selves in some where around the uk even if I have to go miles I’m prepared to go . 

I’m just waiting on the nurses to come back now with a answer but if they can’t find me a bed they said they don’t feel right sending me home I’ll have to stay here till there’s a bed in a mental health hospital . X 

Tammyjane33

@cupcake88 sorry to hear you're in hospital, I hope they find you a bed ASAP. Feel free to message me. Here if you need to talk x

Lisatho11987777

@cupcake88 jope you get the help you need thinking of you 

cupcake88

Hi every one still here waiting on news of a bed Or not there taking ages to come back to see me which makes me think there’s either no bed or there sorting some thing out . 

cupcake88

Just a update every one they’re just doing the paper work now they have a bed for me on the ward up the road from the hospital but it’s a assessment ward been on it before you usually go for a few days and they assess you and see if you need to go on a long term ward or not  . It’s **** this ward and so boring and it’s very noisey but I’m lucky to get a bed considering the whole country has none I managed to get one literally up the road but like I mentioned it’s an assessment ward . 

Lisatho11987777

@cupcake88 glad to hear you have somewhere close to home even though it is only an assessment ward 

chiarieds

Hi @cupcake88 - I hope you managed to get some sleep last night. Good that a place was found for you so close by even if it's an assessment ward. How are you this morning? xx