How is your day going?

Quiet day at the mill, mainly watched the goggle box. Done some washing and cleaned the bathroom, just trying to do little bits and bobs. I’m hoping there isn’t any rain tomorrow as I’m going to attempt to go into the city centre to watch Nuremberg.

Anxiety is crippling in so many different ways, when it is triggered you end up paralysed! It leaves you with a huge defensive wall that even the smallest thing can bring it up like a medieval drawbridge to protect yourself.

From the outside people that don’t understand Anxiety and its complex nature, seriously leads to misunderstanding and often confusion.

we that struggle daily with Anxiety often isolate ourselves because we face challenges in very busy places, work environments, social situations etc.

Morning all.

I'm exhausted and in a bad mood today it's going to be one of those everything is an effort periods coming up.

Reading some of the last few posts, Anxiety is evil it can and does ruin lives, when the government started spouting about it being "mild" I sent those saying it a comprehensive email about this "mild" conditions impact on my life from the physical symptoms like throwing up, painful cramps and muscle twitches to it taking over your day to the point concentrating on anything even a half hour TV show is impossible because you're consumed by an unwanted relentless focus on what's worrying you.

needless to say they never replied

My therapist tells me it is very normal to experience nervousness with all the grief (related to being ill) I am going through.

A friend told me several times that she would cry every single day if she was in my shoes.

However, I tell myself that I am stupid for having anxiety, that I should be able to handle everything. Yet, I would never ever speak to someone else like that, absolutely not.

Thankfully, I found this guided meditation called Calm The Creature (10 min) recently and I listened to it twice already. It was very helpful, an eye-opener really.

And this is what I am hoping to stick with today, to help me navigate my grief, part of a poem by Woodsworth:

Though nothing can bring back the hour
Of splendour in the grass, of glory in the flower?
I We will grieve not, rather find
Strength in what remains behind

Isn't that what we do together here? Finding strength together?

Good Afternoon everyone 😊

Busy start to the day with putting bedding in the washer, then put washing away from yesterday. Then I tackled my fear and had a shower, nearly slipped a few times when standing up from the stool. Then it was a case of shaving the old head to a mirror finish.
I have ventured out into town, grabbed a coffee and now sat waiting for Nuremberg to start.

Going to be a very powerful film, I hope some of today’s generation watch it and learn something from it. I remember watching Schindlers List in school and learning about the Holocaust and it’s something’s that’s stuck with me ever since, the little girl in the red coat is seared into the minds of anyone that watched it. I’ve not been able to watch it since then. Another powerful film is one called Freedom Writers, a teacher in America went into a run down school with a very challenging class that were of mixed races, religion and creeds. She went off the set book list at the school and bought each class member a copy of Anne Franks Diary, they were very reluctant to read them at first but once they started reading it they were shocked to the core. The teacher also got them to write their own diaries which they were reluctant to do but did do. The students wrote to Miep Gies who helped Anne Frank and her family. They raised money for Mrs Gies to come to America and meet them, they sat down and listened to her stories. her experiences during the Holocaust, her decision to help hide the Frank family, and the importance of fighting prejudice and discrimination. Mrs Gies said to the class that “ They were the real heroes in there own life study” Mrs Gies very humbly said that “I just did the right thing at the right time”

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Thank You 😊

I have had a keen interest on Military History for a very long time. I have quite a vast collection of books on many different conflicts but a lot are on WW1 & WW2. I think my interest in military history I stems from my Grandfathers service during the war, alongside other family members. I lost two Great Grand Uncles on my Dads Side and a Great Grand Uncle on my Mum’s side during the Great War.

Glad you’re safe and well at home after tackling the shopping monster. The weather has really taken a turn for the worse, could be set for a bad end to Autumn and maybe a very cold Winter 🥶

I need to get my barrels varnished and planted up so they’re set for spring. Main one to get in the soil is spring bulbs that I’ve got.

I loathe doing shopping due to my high anxiety levels, due to my ASD I tend to use my AirPods as a barrier to block out external noises.

I’m fortunate to have a small area I can put a few pots out, be good to reignite the old former gardener in me. It’s fair to say when the barrels arrived you could smell the Whisky that had been inside them. I’m going to try and get both of them varnished tomorrow and then return them outside and plant them up before the first frost and snow sets in. I want to get a trough to go with the barrels and put in perennial poppies alongside 3 WW1 Tommy Soldier lights to not only remember the 3 Great Grand Uncles I lost in the Great War but also those of my family who also served in both wars and all those who have fought and died for King and Queen.

It is also a very nice tribute.. in a way wars are senseless. And a lot it is lost because of them.