Mental health

I’ve just varnished a half a whisky barrel planter and I felt good about doing it. Yet my back said otherwise and now the exhaustion has kicked in alongside the cold.

I have decided to give up the ghost on fighting! I’m accepting that I’m not a good person, I’ve failed and let people down in my life, it’s true what my first ex wife said “You have a swinging brick for a heart and don’t know what love is” somehow muddled through almost ten years and over four years married to the other wife who said once that I was cruel. My parents probably will always refer to me as there biggest mistake in life and wish they could go back in time to prevent it. I just don’t see the point carrying on fighting, taking care of myself, going abroad and just in general no longer leave the flat. I will only interact with Health Professional’s as and when needed. My second ex actually said “ You Don’t Want To Get Better” I’ve lived like this for 42 years, as I’m like the woman who gave birth to me parents - then I’ve got 18 years of suffering left if that… so I’m just gonna disappear now, best thing for everyone.