Mental health

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Comments

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 9,132 Championing

    When Im told by someone that my kids dont care about me now that hurts alot

    I dunno what to believe

    Why do I have to keep facing all these issues

    Id love a break from curve balls being thrown at me .

  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 14,424 Online Community Programme Lead

    Who tells you that @Strawberry1?

    One thing I’d say is that the only people who truly know how your kids feel about you are your kids themselves. Other people's opinions can be incredibly damaging, especially when they’re spoken as if they’re facts, when there is no real way for them to know what is in your childrens' hearts.

    Silence, busyness, or distance doesn’t automatically mean lack of care. Children, especially adult children, are complicated. They’re often juggling work, relationships, stress, figuring out who they are, and trying to build their own lives. Sometimes that means they don’t show up in ways that look like “care,” even when the care is still very much there.

    Listen to your own heart and what it tells you and try not to let someone else’s words drown that out.

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 9,132 Championing

    The person who telling me this is very inconsiderate .

    Thank so much for your time @Adrian_Scope .

    I wish i was as clever as you

    Take care

    Best wishes always

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,679 Championing

    Hello Strawberry 🍓

    Is he actually talking about himself? He doesn't sound very caring. Was he a mummy's boy and always adored? Was he the perfect son to her? Silly so-and-so for using the most precious people in your life to hurt you with 😣

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,679 Championing
    edited December 2025
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1090407#Comment_1090407

    Hi Zippy, I've been wondering how you are (no obligation to reply)

    A good day for me is getting washed, dressed and out; tasks which were once second nature to me. I always feel better for the change of scenery and occasionally exchanging a few words with someone. The rest of the time I spend alone but outdoors is my happy place.

    You already know how therapeutic green spaces are and you know how to motivate yourself, always setting manageable goals to rebuild your confidence and strength. You are an inspiration to some of us on this forum! I can't write much but you do so in depth.

    I agree that the right diet is important for wellbeing. I'm mostly LowFODMAP and an emergency meal for me would be microwavable rice and tinned fish - delicious smothered with balsamic vinegar and lemon juice. Lidl sells pre-cooked quinoa which takes just 2 minutes to heat! Anything with onion garlic chilli peppercorn makes me feel rubbish so no take-aways for me.

    I was out for hours yesterday in blinding winter sun and today I've done the bare minimum. I had to be instructed in how to be more gentle with myself because it doesn't come easily. Being alone is also not easy which is why many of us use the Scope forum to make connections.

    🌵

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 9,132 Championing

    Hello @WhatThe , ive no idea .

    I dont have the knowledge to answer those questions

    Sorry

    Hope you are ok .

    Please take care

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,679 Championing

    You don't need to answer them, Strawberry!

    I'm ok, thanks for asking.

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,679 Championing
    edited December 2025

    Last week was surprisingly good but two good weeks in a row? I won't hold my breath 😄

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 9,132 Championing

    The only knowledge i know what the is they clashed with thier parents @WhatThe

    Thats all i know

    Im glad you have had a decent couple of weeks

    Look after yourself

    Thanks again for all your kindness

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,679 Championing

    Strawberry, you're not responsible for his unmet needs so you must believe in yourself and what you know.

    Adrian said, One thing I’d say is that the only people who truly know how your kids feel about you are your kids themselves. Other people's opinions can be incredibly damaging, especially when they’re spoken as if they’re facts, when there is no real way for them to know what is in your childrens' hearts.

    Adrian is spot on. How can children influence parental relationships even when they themselves are adults? Tricky. They may assume that you know how to fix this when you don't - that's not your fault, either! Don't be afraid to confide in them or imagine that you are burdening them. Older generations didn't share 'personal' matters but we can do things differently with our children.

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 9,132 Championing

    I appreciate everything you say @WhatThe

    Thanks

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,679 Championing
    edited December 2025

    My mum really only shared adult things with me in her later years. In her final weeks of a sudden decline, she mentioned how much she had adored her own mother. How had I never known something like that? It still baffles me because I would have liked her so much more if I'd had any inkling 😆

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,679 Championing

    It's goodnight from me. This has been a long session and I'm wiped!

    Wishing you a peaceful night, Strawberry 🍓

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 9,132 Championing

    I hope its not me whats caused you to feel so wiped @WhatThe .

    Thank you for all your kindness , support and time and feedback .

    Take care

    Rest easy

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 9,132 Championing

    Take care @WhatThe

    Best wishes Always

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,679 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1090865#Comment_1090865

    Ha ha no, it's the strain of staring at a screen! And the strain of thinking 😆

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 9,132 Championing

    Bless you @WhatThe

    So pleased i didnt rock the boat

    Look after yourself

  • WhatThe
    WhatThe Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 5,679 Championing
    edited December 2025

    In her final weeks of a sudden decline, she mentioned how much she had adored her own mother.

    She actually said "As you know, I adored my mother". Well, I didn't but that was no time to argue! I decided she must be confusing me with big sister, a whole year older than me who she had always been close to. But none of that mattered and my years in the wilderness ended with bittersweet new memories 😊

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 9,132 Championing

    Strange isnt it what people say in the latter years @WhatThe .

    Oh bless you .

    Ive never been close to my parents who are no longer here .

  • Strawberry1
    Strawberry1 Community Member, Scope Member Posts: 9,132 Championing

    Every now and again I think i have a wise idea to try and take me forward in life

    Something to look forward too then i realise who am I kidding .

    My mind boggles at the ideas i have .

    Probably best to just accept things as they are

    As the saying goes if its not broke dont fix it .

    One wish i do have is for me to hopefully have some time in life were Im not crying as much as I have been doing of late .

    Thats not a big thing to wish for or dream for .

    All my other dreams can wait a little while longer I think

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