Wife/Carer - cancer ?
My wife/carer has been given an appointment at hospital next Thursday for the results of a cancer blood test - (she's been bleeding from her cervix recently) !
It probably is not menopause related - that was over a few years ago……..
I just hope that it is caused by something else and not cancer.
Comments
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Hi @Wibbles I hope your wife's results next Thursday will be good and not what you both might be thinking.
Good luck, please let us know how she gets on.
Take care.
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Thanks - the problem is that she is already milking it - to an enormous extent
She started with the "if we hadn't lived here…." and the "See, It's not all about you"
to the "I really hate you"
She just assumes that I can read her mind, she didn't tell me about the symptoms and them started going on at me just because I didn't ask her - how was I to know that there was anything wrong anyway.
Sorry - but if it is C - I really don't think that I / We can cope………..
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I'm so sorry to read this @Wibbles. You both must be going through such a nightmare waiting for Thursday. I hope your wife gets the best possible result.
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Thinking of you both @Wibbles and really hoping for the very best result for your wife. It's a worrying time while you're waiting for results, I know how anxious I was (on a cancer pathway three times) it was like time stood still. Take care Wibbles.
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It’s completely understandable that you’re both worried. Waiting for results is a horrible limbo to be in.
Just to add, cervical cancer can’t be diagnosed from a blood test. Some tumour markers, such as SCC antigen, can be raised in a small number of cervical cancer cases, but they aren’t reliable enough to diagnose anything. They can be completely normal even when cancer is present, and they can also be raised for many non‑cancer reasons. Blood tests are mainly used to check for things like inflammation, infection, anaemia or hormone changes, but they can’t confirm or rule out cancer on their own.
It’s also worth knowing that most postmenopausal bleeding turns out not to be cancer. There are plenty of other causes, including cervical or vaginal atrophy, infections, and benign conditions such as polyps or fibroids. The hospital appointment is usually just to decide whether any further tests are needed, and they often carry those out as part of the standard process.
A lot of us have been through similar checks. In my case, the bleeding was down to a hormone imbalance after menopause and has been managed with hormone treatment. A friend of mine had polyps that needed removing. We all feared the worst when it first started, but it turned out to be something treatable.
It sounds as though your wife is very frightened, which is completely understandable. You don’t have to absorb hurtful comments, but gently letting her know that this isn’t something either of you can control and that you’re just as worried for her as she is can sometimes take the edge off the fear.
Most importantly, try not to let your minds run too far ahead of the facts. The majority of postmenopausal bleeding cases are not cancer, so try to stay hopeful.
I live with a chronic blood cancer myself and spend a lot of time in oncology, and you’d be surprised how many people go in to their consultant appointment expecting the worst and come out in tears of relief when they’re told it’s benign or easily treated. Stay strong.
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My friend going through the same shes 62 its fibroids it is a stressful time for you both many things said when your anxious and worried
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She had her womb lining removed 30+ years ago - due to a cancer scare !
polyps
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Just to add, bleeding does not only come from the womb lining. In my case, I had laser treatment in 1995 for precancerous cervical cells, and then at 58 just over 23 years later I developed bleeding again.
I had a full internal scan of all my reproductive organs, and they were able to tell me on the day that it was a hormonal imbalance linked to my very early menopause at 40. It had nothing to do with the womb or the ovaries. It was frightening at the time, but it turned out to be completely manageable.
Bodies can still throw up new symptoms years or even decades after earlier treatment, even when the lining has been removed. The hospital will look at her full history and decide what checks are needed, and it is worth remembering that even with past scares, most postmenopausal bleeding still is not cancer.
It can really help to write down any questions that are worrying either of you and take them along on the day. It is so easy to forget things when you are anxious, and having them written down means nothing gets lost in the moment. The team will be used to people coming in with questions and will go through them with you.
I really hope you both get some clearer answers on Thursday. The waiting is the hardest and most frightening part, but many of us have been through similar investigations and come out the other side with good news.
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My wife is now extremely concerned about how she will get to the appointment - it is in a separate area of the hospital and she cannot walk very far.
Taxis are not reliable enough and no buses are available
She will have to drive herself (I have not driven for two years) she tells me that I have let her down and am no longer herhusband…and she does not want me at the appointment with her ..
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I'm so sorry you're both going through this @Wibbles. Have you considered an Uber? You can download the app and book them in advance. My mum has used them for hospital appointments and they've been reliable.
Is this type of behaviour unusual for her? If so, she's probably extremely scared and is, unfortunately, taking it out on you. Does she have anyone else she can talk to? Do you have any support?
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Hi @Wibbles you are both going through a very worrying time and it is probably the stress of this that is making your wife use you as her person for having a go at.
Fingers crossed the news on Thursday will not be as bad as you think and you will be able to relax a bit.
Please take care of yourself.
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I'm sorry for what you're both going through @Wibbles. If your wife is going to get a cab there it might be worth ringing the hospital in advance for the voluntary workers/? Red Cross, to meet her at her cab with a chair and they can take her across the hospital corridors to her appointment. My local hospitals offer this facility (not so reliable at a weekend). It must be very stressful for you both, I hope there are ways to alleviate that.
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Meant to say sorry, even if she's driving herself she could seek assistance to get across the hospital on arrival via the Red Cross/volunteers but needs to arrange in advance.
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At my local hospital you can basically turn up and ask (at reception) for a porter who will appear with a wheelchair. There is also a motorised buggy available.
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It's not the "getting to" that concerns us - it's the getting home afterwards - at around 5pm - which is going to be fully booked (peak time)
Ubers - sorry not in my area
We can't book a time because we have no idea how long the appointment will last for - especially if I was allowed to go with her (I am in a wheelchair anyway) and my wife would have to push me
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No - she won't ask for help - EVER
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It's a different building to the main hospital 1/2 mile away but the car park is at the main hospital !
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It's almost as if she can't accept the fact that I am disabled - I have not driven for 2 years as my shoulders tend to lock solid with arthritic pain and it would not be wise for me to even try driving ! Yet, she uses this as proof that I do nothing to help her….It's MY fault…..
Also - the fact that I turned down a job, 22 years ago which meant that she had to live 140 miles away from her parents, rather than half way, will never be forgotten - she mentions it at least 2 times EVERY week - give it a rest - I have admitted to making a mistake 22 years ago and there's absolutely diddly squat that I can do about it now - why won't she let it lie ?
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Oh sorry to hear this when we are fearful sometimes we lash out at the ones closest to us ofcourse you cant help being disabled maybe once transport sorted might feel a little easier sounds like shes overwelmed and worried everything will work its selfout nearer the time
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I think that my wife will need a full hysterectomy
How successful are they at getting rid of cancer ?
What will happen after the NHS 6 week supplied help is up - because I understand that recovery can take months ?
What will happen about me - when my wife/carer is out of action - because my wife does EVERYTHING for me at the moment !
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