Wife/Carer - cancer ?
Comments
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@Wibbles It might be time to consider your wife not being able to continue being your Carer and looking at other options.
You could perhaps go to a Day Centre once or twice a week to give your wife a break.
I cared for my mother when she had cancer and she came to live with me and it is the hardest job I have ever done. It is usually done by family and unfortunately there is little help for carers.
Carers coming in is usually just for 15 or 30 minutes a time sometimes it can be arranged they come in four times a day.
The other option could be respite care where you would go into a care home for a week to give your wife a break.
I think you wife being unwell now has brought to a head that you need to do something.
I hope you manage to sort something out.
Take care.
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Thanks - yes my wife does need a break - she has cared for me for over 20 years without a single day break !
She has only been claiming Carers Allowance for less than half of the time too !
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Twenty years without a single day’s break is extraordinary, and it’s honestly heartbreaking that it was ever allowed to happen. You and your wife both sound like remarkable people, but you should never have been left in that position. The responsibility for that sits squarely with the system that was supposed to support you.
The important thing now is this, under the Care Act 2014, your wife has a legal right to a Carer’s Assessment in her own right. It is completely separate from your assessment. The council must look at the impact caring is having on her, whether she is able and willing to continue, and what support she needs, including respite.
She does not have to wait for your assessment first. She can request a Carer’s Assessment directly, and savings have nothing to do with whether an assessment is carried out.
After twenty years with no break, that assessment is long overdue. You have both been badly let down, but the law is on your side here, and there is support available if the council finally does what it should have done years ago. See link below.
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I understand his wife was offered a Carers Assessment and she turned it down.
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I'm sorry to hear that you're wife/carer is going through cancer
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We still don't know whether that's the case or not
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OK - she has heard from her surgery
She's got "endometrial polyps" - which are PROBABLY NOT cancerous - she was told this by email - how impersonal can you get ?
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Blimey, they told her by email @Wibbles?! But despite the delivery, hopefully that's reassuring news that it's unlikely to be cancerous. Have they spoken to her about any treatment options?
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No - nothing about any treatment at all
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That's disappointing @Wibbles, has she had an appointment through to chat about it? Hopefully they'll be able to talk her through what the next steps might be soon. Hope you're both managing okay.
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@Wibbles, thank you for letting us know. If it were me, I would reply to the email and ask for a GP appointment so your wife can talk the results through properly and find out when the polyps will be removed. They are usually benign, but nobody can say that for certain until they have been removed and biopsied.
Also, any ongoing bleeding needs keeping an eye on because it can lead to anaemia, which would make your wife feel very tired and washed out. Sadly, in this day and age you really do have to advocate for yourself. It isn’t right, but that is the reality of how the system works at the moment, and things can slip through unless you push.
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She had polyps removed about 30 years ago.
It appears that they have returned.
She's got a phone call next Monday.
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Thank you for updating us @Wibbles. Been thinking of you and your wife. I hope it all goes well on Monday and take good care.
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Same here @Wibbles I hope everything goes well Monday and you're both doing ok.
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Sending good luck for Monday to you both @Wibbles😊
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Had phone call - evidently she's now got to go to Gynaecology in 2 weeks time !!
Her GP couldn't tell her anything
She had to book the appointment on line and we are unsure whether it was done correctly or not - because to start with - the app said "not for patient to attend…."
but we think that it's been done correctly now - why couldn't her GP book it ???
She's stopped bleeding - she tells me 3 days ago - but is extremely tired !
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That's reassuring that she's stopped bleeding @Wibbles, I'd imagine it must have all been so draining mentally as well as physically. Not an easy time for either of you, I'm sure.
Fingers crossed the Gynaecology team will be able to guide her on the next steps and get her feeling more like herself. 2 weeks is a good amount of time too, it sounds like they're taking it seriously at least and not putting her on a huge waiting list.
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Update :
She's gone off (on her own), this morning for a Gynaecology appointment to see whether it is cancer or not…..
I wanted to go with her - but this is apparently not possible due to the "size of the room" !
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Thank you for the update @Wibbles
I hope you are both okay. Must be such a worrying time.0
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