Wife/Carer - cancer ?
My wife/carer has been given an appointment at hospital next Thursday for the results of a cancer blood test - (she's been bleeding from her cervix recently) !
It probably is not menopause related - that was over a few years ago……..
I just hope that it is caused by something else and not cancer.
Comments
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Hi @Wibbles I hope your wife's results next Thursday will be good and not what you both might be thinking.
Good luck, please let us know how she gets on.
Take care.
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Thanks - the problem is that she is already milking it - to an enormous extent
She started with the "if we hadn't lived here…." and the "See, It's not all about you"
to the "I really hate you"
She just assumes that I can read her mind, she didn't tell me about the symptoms and them started going on at me just because I didn't ask her - how was I to know that there was anything wrong anyway.
Sorry - but if it is C - I really don't think that I / We can cope………..
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I'm so sorry to read this @Wibbles. You both must be going through such a nightmare waiting for Thursday. I hope your wife gets the best possible result.
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Thinking of you both @Wibbles and really hoping for the very best result for your wife. It's a worrying time while you're waiting for results, I know how anxious I was (on a cancer pathway three times) it was like time stood still. Take care Wibbles.
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My friend going through the same shes 62 its fibroids it is a stressful time for you both many things said when your anxious and worried
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She had her womb lining removed 30+ years ago - due to a cancer scare !
polyps
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My wife is now extremely concerned about how she will get to the appointment - it is in a separate area of the hospital and she cannot walk very far.
Taxis are not reliable enough and no buses are available
She will have to drive herself (I have not driven for two years) she tells me that I have let her down and am no longer herhusband…and she does not want me at the appointment with her ..
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I'm so sorry you're both going through this @Wibbles. Have you considered an Uber? You can download the app and book them in advance. My mum has used them for hospital appointments and they've been reliable.
Is this type of behaviour unusual for her? If so, she's probably extremely scared and is, unfortunately, taking it out on you. Does she have anyone else she can talk to? Do you have any support?
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Hi @Wibbles you are both going through a very worrying time and it is probably the stress of this that is making your wife use you as her person for having a go at.
Fingers crossed the news on Thursday will not be as bad as you think and you will be able to relax a bit.
Please take care of yourself.
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I'm sorry for what you're both going through @Wibbles. If your wife is going to get a cab there it might be worth ringing the hospital in advance for the voluntary workers/? Red Cross, to meet her at her cab with a chair and they can take her across the hospital corridors to her appointment. My local hospitals offer this facility (not so reliable at a weekend). It must be very stressful for you both, I hope there are ways to alleviate that.
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Meant to say sorry, even if she's driving herself she could seek assistance to get across the hospital on arrival via the Red Cross/volunteers but needs to arrange in advance.
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At my local hospital you can basically turn up and ask (at reception) for a porter who will appear with a wheelchair. There is also a motorised buggy available.
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It's not the "getting to" that concerns us - it's the getting home afterwards - at around 5pm - which is going to be fully booked (peak time)
Ubers - sorry not in my area
We can't book a time because we have no idea how long the appointment will last for - especially if I was allowed to go with her (I am in a wheelchair anyway) and my wife would have to push me
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No - she won't ask for help - EVER
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It's a different building to the main hospital 1/2 mile away but the car park is at the main hospital !
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It's almost as if she can't accept the fact that I am disabled - I have not driven for 2 years as my shoulders tend to lock solid with arthritic pain and it would not be wise for me to even try driving ! Yet, she uses this as proof that I do nothing to help her….It's MY fault…..
Also - the fact that I turned down a job, 22 years ago which meant that she had to live 140 miles away from her parents, rather than half way, will never be forgotten - she mentions it at least 2 times EVERY week - give it a rest - I have admitted to making a mistake 22 years ago and there's absolutely diddly squat that I can do about it now - why won't she let it lie ?
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Oh sorry to hear this when we are fearful sometimes we lash out at the ones closest to us ofcourse you cant help being disabled maybe once transport sorted might feel a little easier sounds like shes overwelmed and worried everything will work its selfout nearer the time
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I think that my wife will need a full hysterectomy
How successful are they at getting rid of cancer ?
What will happen after the NHS 6 week supplied help is up - because I understand that recovery can take months ?
What will happen about me - when my wife/carer is out of action - because my wife does EVERYTHING for me at the moment !
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She's about to go off on her own for a cancer diagnosis because she "doesn't want me anywhere near her,"
I have no support network or friends locally and can do virtually nothing myself.
The mood that my wife is in - she probably won't even tell the Dr that I exist but even if she did , what can they do?
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Wibbles, have you reached out to your GP for support, even just a telephone appointment to talk this through?
I've been in an unhappy marriage but we weren't dealing with profound physical disability. You both need help in this situation but your needs and fears sound more urgent.
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