Wife/Carer - cancer ?

135

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  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing

    Update :

    She's gone off (on her own), this morning for a Gynaecology appointment to see whether it is cancer or not…..

    I wanted to go with her - but this is apparently not possible due to the "size of the room" !

  • Mary_Scope
    Mary_Scope Posts: 5,700 Scope Online Community Children and Family Specialists

    Thank you for the update @Wibbles

    I hope you are both okay. Must be such a worrying time.

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1112077#Comment_1112077

    It certainly is

    Especially when my wife told me that she should be home in about an hour.

    That was almost 3 hours ago!!

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1112084#Comment_1112084

    Her phone is off too !!

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing

    She got back after almost four hours - she had a biopsy (they found and removed some Polyps) and await the results of that - it's going to be another 2 weeks for the results - but things don't look very promising !

  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 9,388 Online Community Team

    Sorry to hear that @Wibbles. It must have been very disappointing for you both not to have found out for sure

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing

    OK The bad news is that she has cancer - womb - she's having a scan this afternoon, to check that it hasn't spread !

    The good news - I'm going to the appointment with her.

    more later - probably

  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 9,388 Online Community Team

    Really sorry to hear that @Wibbles. I hope the appointment goes well this afternoon and that it brings some positive news for you both.

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 4,846 Online Community Team

    I'm so sorry @Wibbles. I hope you get some clear answers in the appointment. We're here to give you support.

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing

    28 Apr

    She has an op to remove her womb

    It's a simple keyhole job

  • Rachel_Scope
    Rachel_Scope Posts: 4,846 Online Community Team

    That's such a relief. How are you both feeling about it?

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing

    They are certainly not hanging about - she has a CT scan on Sunday (2 days time)

    But we have logistical problems - like how she gets to hospital for 8am on the day of her op

    Buses take 2 hours 20 mins to get there (really) and hospital transport is only available for disabled patients. Taxi cost £84 one way for the 25 mile journey………No choice, unfortunately.

    She will be released from hospital at about 3pm - if there's no complications - and will have to repeat the £84 one way journey home again - I can't drive her and we have no other friends/relatives who can. She will be on her own for the journey (both ways)


    They say that it is a simple op - drilling a hole through the belly button to pull the womb out and three holes to sample lymph nodes - with a good chance of getting rid of the cancer once and for all.

    But I find it wrong that they expect someone who has just had a major organ removed to take a 2 hr 20 mins bus journey home, hours after coming round from an op……

  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 9,388 Online Community Team

    That sounds promising @Wibbles. It's good that they're not messing her about too much and are getting the scans and things done quickly. Has she spoken to the hospital about her transport troubles?

    Do you have any local community groups near you? Things like Churches or even the Women's Institute or something. I wonder if someone kind might help with transporting your wife to and from the hospital - either for the price of petrol or a small donation or something but hopefully cheaper than the taxi. Might be something worth looking into it if you're able to - as you say, it doesn't sound right to make her do that journey on the bus after her op.

    You could also perhaps try contacting Macmillan to see if they can help suggest something: https://www.macmillan.org.uk/cancer-information-and-support

    Hope you're able to find a solution.

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 5,970 Championing
    edited April 10

    Hi @Wibbles the following link might be of interest to you.

    https://www.nhsinform.scot/tests-and-treatments/surgical-procedures/hysterectomy/

    When you have had a General anaesthetic you are asked before the operation who is collecting you and for their phone number.

    Public transport would not be allowed as to high a risk of infection and you have to have someone with you for 24 hours after general anaesthetic.

    As far as I am aware you are expected to arrange your own transport.

    When I had my gall bladder out by key hole surgery although the operation is simpler the recovery period can still be weeks.

    Has you wife not been given a leaflet telling her all about the surgery she is to have and what her recovery period is likely to be? Perhaps she will be given further information after her scan.

    Did you follow up on care for yourself if your wife needed an operation? She will not be able to care for you straight after key hole surgery and will still need recovery time from the operation.

    Take care.

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1116449#Comment_1116449

    My wife is getting a taxi the 35 miles to the hospital on her own and my sister is coming to stay for 2 nights - my wife is adamant that she will be OK to look after me after this time…

    My sister is going to drive to collect her after the surgery…..

    What do you think I should do - arrange an emergency contact - just in case ? who/how ?

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 5,970 Championing
    edited April 13

    Hi @Wibbles I am glad your sister will be able to collect your wife from the hospital after surgery and will be staying for two nights.

    I think it would be a good idea to arrange an emergency contact just in case. Your wife cannot know how she will be after surgery and it is better to have a back up plan.

    Age UK should be able to advise and help you arrange this.

    https://www.ageuk.org.uk

    I hope everything goes well for you both.

    Or Macmillan Cancer Support.

    https://www.macmillan.org.uk

    Or perhaps contact your GP to see if they have any advise to help you if needed.

    Take care.

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing
    edited April 13

    Is ageuk relevant to us - I am 62 years old - no idea what age is considered AGED nowadays……

    I have messaged Macmillan

    thanks

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 5,970 Championing

    @Wibbles minimum age to use Age UK services is 50 years old.

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1117485#Comment_1117485

    Thanks - I now feel even older

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing
    edited April 24

    OK Its all sorted - she goes in to hospital on Tuesday morning by 12:00 by taxi for an op during the afternoon - my sister is going to bring her home afterwards (hopefully same day)..

    The thing is that my wife has turned down an offer of (free) home help from NHS - Because, she claims "I won't need it - I'll be up and walking next day" - she's having a major life saving op - so how does she know what she will be able to do ?

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