Wife/Carer - cancer ?

124

Comments

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 5,970 Championing

    Hi @Wibbles I hope your wife's op goes well next week.

    She cannot know what she will be able to do until after the op. She seems to be in denial of what she will be going through.

    Will she be able to get the free help from the NHS if she finds she is unable to be as active as she hopes? Even though she has turned the help down?

    She will be up and walking the next day as they will not let her come home if she is unable to. This does not mean she will be up to doing much.

    It must be difficult for you to deal with this when your wife is so sure she will be active and able to do everything straight after her op.

    I am sure they will talk to her at the hospital after the op and give her information of what she will be able to do.

    I hope it all turns out well for you both.

  • Mary_Scope
    Mary_Scope Posts: 5,700 Scope Online Community Children and Family Specialists

    Thank you for the update @Wibbles. I really hope the operation goes okay and she has a smooth recovery.

    Did they say if she is able to accept the offer of the help from the NHS at a later date if she changes her mind?

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1120779#Comment_1120779

    They didn't say - but YES I would imagine so…

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing

    She had her op today but is still in hospital due to not being able to pee or eat anything yet...

    The op itself took almost 3 hours but went fine according to the surgeon.

    Hopefully home tomorrow.

    My sister is staying with me

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 5,970 Championing

    It must be a relief for you that the surgeon has said the op went fine @Wibbles

    Hopefully she will be home tomorrow..

    I am glad you have your sister staying with you and hope you are doing ok.

    Take care.

  • Mary_Scope
    Mary_Scope Posts: 5,700 Scope Online Community Children and Family Specialists

    Glad to hear the operation went okay @Wibbles. Hope she has a smooth recovery. How are you feeling?

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1121816#Comment_1121816

    Worried - until she comes home - she's still in with a catheter fitted !

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing

    She came home, the following day - which, I still find remarkable - considering what she had done to her

    She's trying to do everything as normal - except for reaching and picking things up off the floor - she's not in too much pain - even though she's refused the morphine offered….

    We're just waiting for the results of the samples taken from her "nodes" during the op - if they are cancer free or not

    If they are - she's got to have CHEMO - If not, she's clear to get on with the rest of her life ……..

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 5,970 Championing

    That is good news @Wibbles I hope she now has a good recovery.

    Fingers crossed she is now clear.

    Take care.

  • Mary_Scope
    Mary_Scope Posts: 5,700 Scope Online Community Children and Family Specialists

    Thank you for the update @Wibbles, glad to hear your wife is back home safe and sound. Fingers crossed you get the results soon and a smooth recovery!

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing

    Still waiting for the "ALL CLEAR" - they did say in 1 1/2 to 2 weeks - it's 2 weeks on Tuesday - is NO NEWS = GOOD NEWS ?

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 5,970 Championing

    Lets hope so. @Wibbles Fingers crossed it is good news and you hear very soon.

    I hope your wife is recovering well from her op.

    Take care.

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing

    She had a call yesterday - she's been given the All Clear - but for some reason, they still want her to have radio therapy - 4 days in a row with 5 minute radiation sessions at a hospital 50 miles away - she is currently deciding whether to go or not !

    Yet again - its down to cost and hassle - I am trying to talk her in to going but have no idea what she's going to do !

    In my opinion - yes a taxi will cost around £200 for each day = Total £800 - but that's a small price to pay

    What are the likely side effects ?

    ps Its NOT chemo therapy

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 5,970 Championing

    Hi @Wibbles that is great news that your wife has been given the all clear. Her doctor must think the radiotherapy is necessary if they have asked for it.

    I can understand your wife not wanting the hassle of the travelling and the cost to get to the hospital but if it was me I would have this treatment just to finish everything off.

    Link for side effects of radiotherapy.

    https://www.nhs.uk/tests-and-treatments/radiotherapy/side-effects/

    Take care.

  • Rosie_Scope
    Rosie_Scope Posts: 9,388 Online Community Team

    That's great news @Wibbles! The costs must be difficult to think about, but as Bluebell says, if the doctors think it's necessary to keep things controlled it sounds like it would be worth it in the long term for peace of mind.

    Hope you're both feeling a little more relaxed now after all that you've been through.

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing
    edited May 20

    She really doesn't want to go for Radio Therapy !

    The added problem is that whilst the radio therapy is 59 miles away - a taxi is feasible - but she keeps on going on about how I should be driving her - but I gave up driving, 2years ago - my shoulders keep freezing up !

    The consultant wants her to get to the original hospital who did the op (35 miles away) for a pre-radio therapy meeting - to start at 9 am - HOW IS SHE EXPECTED TO DO THIS ?

    This has changed her mind about the whole thing - she spent the day on Monday in tears - saying "I wish that I had never agreed to any of it" - it's heartbreaking for me too !!

    She has given up on life.

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 5,970 Championing
    edited May 20

    I am so very sorry that the Radiotherapy your wife has been asked to have is causing so much upset for you both. @Wibbles

    Would it help your wife to speak to Macmillan to see what advice they can offer. She has been through a big operation and is probably still healing and adjusting to that.

    https://www.macmillan.org.uk

    I really hope you can sort something out, but at the end of the day it is her decision.

    Please take care.

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing

    She starts Radiotherapy on Friday (4 sessions - 4 days apart) but needs to spend over £150 on taxis per day to get to the hospital because the NHS won't provide transport for her ( apparently too much savings)

    She will be on her own for the 60 mile journey and at the hospital itself so I really feel for her ….

  • Bluebell21
    Bluebell21 Community Member Posts: 5,970 Championing

    I hope everything goes well for your wife @Wibbles It is disappointing that it will cost her so much money to have her treatment.

    Take care.

  • Wibbles
    Wibbles Community Member Posts: 3,725 Championing
    https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1130231#Comment_1130231

    I hope that I didn't give the impression that I am not happy with her treatment - it is just the "add ons" that need some tweaking !

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