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Depression

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  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @RichardVR   Thank you for reply.  I again apologise long post have this mind that needs to be fulfilled, needs to say what I have, that is bothering me.

    My family well just say it is the bane or pain to talk about.  Yet some days I have the long lasting memories of what happened.  Can watch some thing like a film or a drama or a news item then it starts.

    The imagery of being in that family being with them especially my Mother who was the real issue.  Get triggers of certain events and scenes in my life.

    Been to therapy, been on here talking about it, briefly he said more like a novel again.

    I got a lot of response on that one  By similar like minded people.  You are never alone on here with a problem.

    When you live with some one who is controlling, abusive very damaging mentally.  You can not really talk about it.  Only really in snap shots and glimpses when I was in the family.  Since leaving started to discuss it more.

    Having the threats from her and family members.  This is the hidden side of families.

    Lot of damage mentally so yes it great I can talk to you but some days struggle.  You must remember that one person can cause you so much damage that it runs through you all your life.  I would be married, have children, have employment, my own place, own life, really great friends if it was not for her callous, evil, twisted mind and mental cruelty.  You see you have got me started.

    Only found out certain medical histories a long while back.  Hiding stuff that I need to know.

    Regarding my trombone well stopped that playing.  Would need to get back to reading music.  Forget a lot of it.  Although I enjoyed playing.  Quite happy to play other peoples music.

    Talking of Soul music there are others I like certain artists some from the Stax Label.  Otis Redding, Barkeys, Sam and Dave plus others.  Like Curtis Mayfield and The Impressions.  Wilson Pickett, Solomon Burke.  The Ladies Etta James, Doris Troy,Nancy Wilson plus others.

    All these were Soul with a sprinkling of Blues.  Nancy Wilson friend of the Rat Pack especially Sammy Davis Jnr who I also like as well as Frank Sinatra.

    Favourite old films top of the list Double Endemity with Fred Mac Murray, Barbara Stanwych, Edward G. Robinson.

    Key Largo with Humphrey Bogart and Lauren Bacall plus To Have and To Have Not
    Casablanca

    Harvey with James Stewart plus the Anthony Mann Westerns directed by him and with James Stewart.  Series of about six Westerns he always wore the same hat.

    These include The Naked Spur,  The Far Country, The Man From Laramie,  Winchester 73 with Shelley Winters. plus some others.  I can not recall.

    Plus Hitchcocks Vertigo.  Also did the Glenn Miller Story good old fashioned films.
    Hitcocks films Physco, To Catch A Thief, North by Northwest, Dial M for Murder with eyes half closed for two of them still shocks and stuns.

    Talking Pictures have loads I have not seen before these include A Lot of British Thrillers.  By long gone companies like London Films, The Boulting Brothers with the trio always of Peter Sellers, Terry Thomas or Syd James.

    Like them a lot simple short and sweet.

    M.G.M. Musicals with Gene Kelly he and Frank Sinatra did a series of dance films.  Out to The Ball Game,  Anchors Aweigh,  my personal favourite On The Town.  There are others as well.

    Summer Set with Judy Garland.  In fact Judy did a series of Musicals with Gene Kelly plus Fred Astaire.  Only Judy Film I get sick of is Easter Parade or The Wizard of Oz.

    Fred Astaire most of his work I like except one or two.

    I also I forgot like fantasy film of the fifties and early sixties animated by a Ray HarryHausen great to watch and clever.

    TV do not watch a lot like the series of The Two Greedy Italians.  All the Italy Unpacked Series With Giorgio and Andrew Graham Dixon.

    I do Cucine Pavore at home as I was told by some book I read.  Mainly Southern Italian.  Some Meditterean from The North like Morocco and Southern Spain.

    I have just seen Saturday Morning Kitchen the other day a new Recipe for Ragu lot simple to do.  So I have that in my book.  Get tired of Bolognese and like the usual simple dishes that cost no money  Less is more.

    I hope I have given you a lot of food for thought as they say.  Please can I say great to have you listen and thank you for your time.

    Take care
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  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Victoriad   How are you ?  Thank you for reply but I think you have me confused with some one else.  I have never read Father Brown I believe it was @RichardVR who said that.

    I am sorry if I was wrong if I did.  Only some days I get mixed up.  Any way thank for any suggestions you have sent me.  Always appreciated.  I will try to get some other cheap eats as I call them in Coffee Lounge or to your wall.  If you so wish.

    Give me some time, have forgetful mind and days.

    Lovely to meet you and chat.  Nice to see you to see you nice as they say.

    Take care
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  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @thespiceman
    and please do not apologise for the length of your posts or for anything else. They are very interesting posts and it is nice getting to know you. You were correct in your last post too, it was I who mentioned Father Brown  :) Trivial stuff, but an undemanding way to pass an hour or so.

    What you tell me, of course, is entirely up to you, and I'm sorry if I seem at all to have pressed you. My family background was a mess and caused lasting damage, but it is clear from your words that I got off very lightly be comparison. I won't talk about it further, though, in case it troubles you.

    I'm copying your music references to a document in my computer so that I can go through them and have a listen whenever time permits. That way I won't miss any of them, and I am grateful to you already for reintroducing me to many names I have forgotten and some I never knew. You have given me the pleasure of some fine music.

    And that's a great film list! 'Double Indemnity'! Oh yes, that would be on my list too, as would 'Key Largo', 'To Have and To Have Not' and 'Casablanca'.

    'Harvey' is glorious. I will watch anything James Stewart is in  :) and it is only recently that I watched 'Winchester '73'  Between Film4 and 'Talking Pictures' I seem to be seeing a lot of old Westerns these days, though I tend to avoid those that make romance out of the murder of native Americans. I could watch them when I didn't know better, but not anymore. I did, still, enjoy James Garner's 'Support Your Local Sheriff' the other day.

    I love Hitchcock's work, though I don't think I would have liked the man. Very fond of some of his early work, particularly 'The 39 Steps' with Robert Donat and Madeleine Carroll. Very, very fond, too, of Donat's 'Goodbye Mr Chips'.

    And Bogie and Bacall! I'm with you all the way there.

    I guess, from what you've written, that you'll be a fan of 'The Lavender Hill Mob' and 'The Ladykillers'? 'The Mouse That Roared' is another favourite of mine.

    Like you, I'm guessing, I grew up with Harryhausen. I vividly recall 'Jason and the Argonauts', 'Mysterious Island' and 'The First Men in the Moon'. Though special effects have moved on incredibly since then, his effects remain so very striking for their time. 

    I've found a site for Cucina Povera on the web and will have a look at it. For me there is no beating Italian and Greek food.

    So yes, plenty of 'food for thought' for me  :)  and at least one post of yours I haven't answered yet. I will get to it, though, as soon as I can.

    Warmest best wishes to you, my friend,

    Richard

  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    @RichardVR Thank you for wise words and comments.  What I found that talking about my family is helping, some times in my mind.  When some one gives you support like yourself you of course wish to know little bits about that person.  That what people do talking if we were face to face.

    I do not mind talking just there are other things in the world to discuss.  Scars run deep and pain whether mental or physical can never can go away but the symptoms can be healed slowly.

    Besides I had a not too good day big worries about money.  Managed to sort out that bill in my head.  Did it on automated telephone, pushing buttons and so that is done.  That is the last Utility I will deal with like that.  Hopefully Smart Meter will be great.  Been on the phone to company coming out next month to fit.

    I will do a post on that to let any body who wishes to have one fitted.  I can advise and hopefully say if it successful.

    Yes thank you for comments about films and the rest of what I have been saying.  I agree with you about Hitch **** not fan of the man but the films.  Seen one or two previews of documentaries very unnerving.  Much like to day.

    Little known facts I have on films always to me fascinating and well I did not know that.  Talking Pictures did a series called Tell Me Another talking to film stars, TV personalities and Stage actors, also Comedians.  Like those.  Memories of stars long gone.

    When I was collecting for my own purpose.  I used to go to Film Fairs in the eighties held in Manchester and in London.  Those days collected Postcards of my area where I lived but I had friends, follower collectors all things TV, Film.  In those days also you see people to collect the history of Film and TV.

    Any thing connected Dr Who cult TV shows The Prisoner, The Saint and so on.  Big even then.  I met a lad who collected anything by Roger Moore his work and James Bond, The Saint.  Used to tell me Roger Moore would send him items.  The thing was that amused me was he had hair like Roger Moore and that tickled me.  Then I found out the obsession was getting to me.

    Collecting Elvis and the other types of music.  Taken me all over the UK and met many wonderful, amazing collectors.  Some shall we say really obsessive.  Met collectors with their stories.  Used to go to Liverpool at hell of a lot.  Everybody their has a Beatles story or a story about The MerseyBeat days.

    This is the situation with my interests of music and film all unfortunately ageing and dying the artists that like and love.

    I can not watch any body in the industry who in my opinion has either no talent but thinks he or she does.  On chat shows can not string together a conversation.

    Having no time for anybody is social media mad.  Would go to their opening of their fridge and invite the press.  Tell all.

    Yes I forgot to say love Pasta but what not many people know you probably do, but a lot do not.  The Greeks love Pasta and a lot of Southern Italy mainly areas around Puglia speak ancient Greek I believe.

    A lot of Greek food has the use of Pasta.  When watching Saturday Kitchen one of the Chef was from India telling us all we like Pasta.  The people from India I did not know that.

    Learn some thing new whether useful or not.

    Hope to speak to you soon take care my friend.

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  • tobyrosco21
    tobyrosco21 Community member Posts: 52 Listener
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  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    edited February 2018
    Hi @tobyrosco21
    Where are you thinking of going to, Toby? I've been hoping to hear more from you.
    You were telling me about making cards from kits, and I'm interested to know more about it and more about you. Your post does seem to have slipped into chat between friends, and I'm a bit concerned about that. It has not been intentional, and I have been listening out for you.
    Warmest best wishes,
    Richard

  • tobyrosco21
    tobyrosco21 Community member Posts: 52 Listener
    No one listens or cares.
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @tobyrosco21 Good Morning How are you.  I sorry about this you say no one cares I care and so do the people of this Community I am sure.

    The problem is with a subject like depression every one wants to join in.  Also it was not intentional to steal your thunder as they say.

    I was waiting for replies from yourself then Richard came on.  You must understand there are a lot of people on the forum who are supporting us all.

    Usually as I strike a rapport with.  Richard helped me through a bad time and as I have not spoken to him for ages.  I apologise if I was catching up.

    This is what happens I get up on some mornings who is on today Oh look who is on.  It is like meeting old friends.  This what may I say do plunge in may I say be bold.  I know I have anxiety, depression.

    The first time I dared to comment got lovely feedback, warmth and feel the understanding thank you.

    I use this forum to stop be being lonely, have debate interaction.  I have days which I need to chat talk and look to see who I can comfort or ease their own personal situation

    Please may I suggest can I ask you ?  What do you like?  Hobbies and Interests.

    I am in my early fifties have music, film interests.  Like Italian food and spices.  If you wish to know more or how can I be a friend, I will listen to you.

    I hope and pray that you reply take care.  Pleased to meet you.
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  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Victoriad Yes I have plenty of those senior moments.  Worse for me mornings.  What day is it got the diary.  It is Wednesday feels like I thought wow where has that gone.

    Talking of TV watched a series on The Victorians Part1 yesterday on a channel called PBS America have Freesat hosted by Jeremy Paxman.  Talked about the Victorian era through art.  Some of the Art amazing. 

    Then on the same channel series on Henry VIII with David Starkey, great enthralling.  Nothing ever on that interests me.  I need to be stimulated and educated.

    Same channel did a series on Jazz which I enjoyed a lot.  All this of course helps with depression

    What sorts of educational style programmes do you like.  Documentaries?

    Hope you OK take care
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  • [Deleted User]
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  • tobyrosco21
    tobyrosco21 Community member Posts: 52 Listener
    So perhaps I should start a thread on how wrong it is to jump on other people' s threads.
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @Victoriad Thank you for reply Just one of those days.  I call it Weepy Wednesday get emotional and upset annoyed at myself.

    Usually little things I still think I am related to Victor Meldrew or Frank Spencer.  Accidents mishaps most Wednesdays for me .  I have good Karma but something always happens.

    My favourite joke regarding mishaps, accidents won a years supply of After Eight Mints never ate any.  All melted by 7.45 pm.

    Managed some how to towels on new washing line last week put it up and the whole thing sagged in the mud strewn lawn and had to wash everything again.

    Struggle to get stuff dry my tiny little bungalow no room for tumble dryer.  Could some days scream running out of clothes.  Hopefully I do not have to wander around in JimJams.  Got a load have just got them dry.  

    Any way Freesat this was a saterlite system set up by the government when we all went Digital.. You have a little box connected to a Saterlite Dish outside.

    I went with Sky got the dish and box then the company put prices up a lot.  So I cancelled.  Applied to Freesat do not pay subscription like Sky.  You get about 500 channels plus the usual ones Radio and the odd lifestyle ones.  Check it on  the web.  Cost would be fitting of the dish plus the cost of desk top box

    Take care
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  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @tobyrosco21 Thank you for reply.  All I say I have said sorry to you.  This a open forum and I was hoping you would understand.

    The whole idea is to discuss in the open any problems or issues you may have.  Then every body can advise or tell you their view and opinions.

    If you wished to have a private chat you got your wall.  This is what I some times do.  I believe there is instructions that one of the SCOPE team has put on the site.  If you would like to have a look.

    I notice you are a support worker then you would realise that all of us are trying to support each other.  With kindness, warmth and compassion.

    Also that you deal with people with issues and problems.  So I can imagine that is rewarding work.

    I do understand you are suffering from depression and I know personally that is not easy to cope with.

    I do feel for you my friend because I have the greatest respect for any body who does that kind of work.  Having had many times to ask for help and support from many charities.

    If I have annoyed you or upset you I am not that kind of person.  I have been putting out the hand of friendship.

    Take care nice to talk to you.  Please take care.
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  • tobyrosco21
    tobyrosco21 Community member Posts: 52 Listener
  • thespiceman
    thespiceman Community member Posts: 6,388 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello @tobyrosco21 You do not have to say sorry.  I was trying to explain everything.

    Here to listen, chat, talk, debate what ever you wish or need to do.
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  • JennysDad
    JennysDad Community member Posts: 2,299 Disability Gamechanger
    Hello Toby, @tobyrosco21
    and I'm sorry you're troubled by the way the thread has turned out. I mentioned to you that I was a bit concerned too, and I've tried to work out how it came about. The first thing is that you posted (correctly) in 'Welcomes and Introductions'. Because your post was clearly concerned with 'Depression' it was moved into a forum on that subject in the hope that you would find more people there who understood your particular feelings and would be able to support you. Had your initial post told us, for example, that you were on the Autism Spectrum, your post would probably have been moved to a relevant ASD forum.
    The switch to the 'Depression' forum meant that your post was exposed to some who work with and for Scope, along with fellow-sufferers of depression, In such forums people may tend to talk to each other as some of us have done here. Perhaps there is a better way :smile: I will certainly let you know if I find it.
    Relatively new, I have not entirely found my way around the communication system here.
    As to 'no-one listens or cares', you couldn't be further from the truth, though I do entirely understand that feeling. The site is entirely about listening and caring and, since you made your first post in 'Welcomes and Introductions' I've been watching my notifications in the eager hope that you would come back to tell us more about yourself.
    You yourself do not have anything to apologise for, believe me.
    So, please, please talk to us, Toby. We DO want to help. You ARE important here.
    The very warmest best wishes to you,
    Richard
  • tobyrosco21
    tobyrosco21 Community member Posts: 52 Listener

Brightness