Share a joke with us!

Adrian_Scope
Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,750 Online Community Programme Lead
in Coffee lounge
I think we could all do with a laugh... so share your best joke or pun!

Please remember to keep them suitable for the community.  D

To get everyone started here's one of my favourite jokes from the last joke thread we had posted originally by @ails.  

A man goes to the doctors.
"Doctor I keep thinking I'm Tom Jones. Is that normal?" 
Doctor replies, "Well, it's not unusual".
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Comments

  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 14,991 Championing
    Great idea!!
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,750 Online Community Programme Lead
    66Mustang said:
    Great idea!!
    You going to tell us your favourite joke @66Mustang?
  • Richard_Scope
    Richard_Scope Posts: 3,740 Cerebral Palsy Network
    Two fish in a tank
    One says to the other "I didn't know you could drive!"
  • M_Anthony
    M_Anthony Online Community Member Posts: 306 Empowering
    What did Michael Jackson say to the mirror?
    You're just another part of me.
  • 66Mustang
    66Mustang Online Community Member Posts: 14,991 Championing
    Adrian_Scope said:
    66Mustang said:
    Great idea!!
    You going to tell us your favourite joke @66Mustang?
    I am rubbish at telling jokes and most of the ones I know are not suitable for this forum :p  :D  ;) Here are a few one liners that made me laugh though

    I was sitting in traffic the other day, and I got ran over

    Someone knocked on the door and asked if I wanted to become Jehovah's Witness. I said I didn't see the accident? :confused:

    Exit signs, they are on the way out aren't they?

    Velcro, what a rip off

    I went into a film store and asked them to give me An Inconvenient Truth, so he told me I was fat because I eat too much
  • M_Anthony
    M_Anthony Online Community Member Posts: 306 Empowering
    Why did the knights of the round table have a round table?
    So no one could take sides.
  • desperateme
    desperateme Online Community Member Posts: 3 Listener
    Never trust an ATOM. They make everything up!
  • 1st_Ade
    1st_Ade Online Community Member Posts: 10 Connected
    My uncle was crushed by a piano...

    His funeral was very low key
  • M_Anthony
    M_Anthony Online Community Member Posts: 306 Empowering
    Why did the cat not eat the parrot?

    He didn't want it repeating on him.

  • M_Anthony
    M_Anthony Online Community Member Posts: 306 Empowering
    Why did a person saw a calculator in half?

    To see where the numbers came from.
  • 1st_Ade
    1st_Ade Online Community Member Posts: 10 Connected
    What’s the difference between the bird flu and the swine flu?

    One you need a “tweetment” and the other you need an “oinkment ”
  • Chloe_Alumni
    Chloe_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 10,506 Championing
    Did you hear about the mathematician who’s afraid of negative numbers?

    He’ll stop at nothing to avoid them.

  • KevStA
    KevStA Online Community Member Posts: 12 Contributor
    I went to the Doctor and said "Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pair of curtains."

    "Pull yourself together man"

     

       
  • CJ61
    CJ61 Online Community Member Posts: 70 Contributor
    What do you do when you see a spaceman?

    Park in it man

    sorry
  • anisty
    anisty Online Community Member Posts: 820 Trailblazing
    Man goes into a shop: " do you sell helicopter crisps?"


    Shopkeeper: " sorry, we only sell plain (plane)"





    Knock knock
    Who's there?

    Biggish

    Biggish who?   (Big issue)



    No, not today thank you!




  • CJ61
    CJ61 Online Community Member Posts: 70 Contributor
    The other day I went to buy some camouflage trousers

    but I couldn't find any
  • KevStA
    KevStA Online Community Member Posts: 12 Contributor
    Two blokes walked into a building...… you'd think one of them would notice !!!
  • Adrian_Scope
    Adrian_Scope Posts: 11,750 Online Community Programme Lead
    These are all absolutely terrible. :wink: Keep them coming!

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