Share a joke with us!
Comments
-
Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon?
great food,
no atmosphere.“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV -
so did you hear about the baguette at the zoo?
it was bread in captivity.“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV -
What do you call a sleeping bull?
A bulldozerOnline Community CoordinatorConcerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
Did you receive a helpful reply to your discussion? Fill out our feedback form and let us know about it. -
Why do fish live in salt water?
because pepper makes them sneeze.“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV -
A man tells his doctor, “Doc, help me. I’m addicted to Twitter!”
The doctor replies, “Sorry, I don’t follow you …”
“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV -
-
What did the lightbulb say to it's mother?
I love you watts and wattsOnline Community CoordinatorConcerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us.
Did you receive a helpful reply to your discussion? Fill out our feedback form and let us know about it. -
I have this strange talent that I can always guess what's inside a wrapped present - It's a gift.
“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV -
Two blood cells loved in vein.
-
Nobody...but NOBODY will love you as much as your dog does...dont believe me?
Lock your dog and all your family in the shed for a couple of hours and see which one is more pleased to see you when you let them out again... -
Sorry, not a joke as such...but, why do I keep getting emails offering to tell my future from the stars?
They surely know I'm not going to reply, right? -
leeCal said:
I was completely ignored by the barman in my local last night, it's my fault, I asked him for the usual.
I went into a pub in Ireland and it was rubbish. The beer was warm, the food was overdone and the staff were unfriendly. It turned out it was an English themed pub. -
silence is golden
unless you have kids
then silence is suspicious ?“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV -
How many apples grow on a tree?All of them!
“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV -
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, “I’ll serve you, but don’t start anything.”
Online Community Co-ordinator
Want to tell us about your experience on the online community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know.Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us. -
That isn't my ladder. It's my step-ladder.
-
I don’t want to brag but I finished a puzzle in a week and it said 2/4 years on the box
“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV -
Elton John hates ordering Chinese food. Soy seems to be the hardest word.
Online Community Co-ordinator
Want to tell us about your experience on the online community? Talk to our chatbot and let us know.Concerned about another member's safety or wellbeing? Flag your concerns with us. -
My wife told me to take the spider out instead of killing him. Went out, had drinks and he's a web designer.
“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV -
If you’re not supposed to eat at night why is there a light bulb in the fridge?
“This is my simple religion. No need for temples. No need for complicated philosophy. Your own mind, your own heart is the temple. Your philosophy is simple kindness.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
Brightness
Categories
- All Categories
- 13.1K Start here and say hello!
- 6.7K Coffee lounge
- 70 Games lounge
- 386 Cost of living
- 4.3K Disability rights and campaigning
- 1.9K Research and opportunities
- 200 Community updates
- 9.3K Talk about your situation
- 2.1K Children, parents, and families
- 1.6K Work and employment
- 772 Education
- 1.7K Housing and independent living
- 1.4K Aids, adaptations, and equipment
- 590 Dating, sex, and relationships
- 363 Exercise and accessible facilities
- 739 Transport and travel
- 31.8K Talk about money
- 4.4K Benefits and financial support
- 5.2K Employment and Support Allowance (ESA)
- 17.2K PIP, DLA, and AA
- 5K Universal Credit (UC)
- 6.2K Talk about your impairment
- 1.8K Cerebral palsy
- 872 Chronic pain and pain management
- 181 Physical and neurological impairments
- 1.1K Autism and neurodiversity
- 1.2K Mental health and wellbeing
- 317 Sensory impairments
- 819 Rare, invisible, and undiagnosed conditions