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Mens abuse

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  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,519 Disability Gamechanger
    @vikingqueen well said !
    2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡

  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Pioneering
    edited March 2021
    Im not blaming anyone,unlike women blaming men, i simply put a theory out there. Not nice is it? And blaming the dad! That dad was once a boy,i knew someone would use that one. Simple fact is, blaming each other, doesn't accomplish anything, except creating even more bad feelings towards each other. A solution is definitely needed, and working together has got to be better. Not all men are <moderator removed - profanities not allowed on the community>. I dont want women to be scared if I'm walking down the street, i dont want to be made to feel like I'm a threat either. Yous <moderator removed - offensive language> at the thought of being to blame, think what it feels like to good caring men, that have also suffered. Honesty is the first step, men hurt women with their fists and sexual assaults, women hurt men with assault, false allegations and their kids. Until we accept that, there's always going to be a problem. 
  • Cher_Alumni
    Cher_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 5,741 Disability Gamechanger
    @Audinut70 To advise, I've removed offensive language from your post and want to remind you of our community guidelines.  As you came to the community for support, we expect you also to be supportive of others and I'd like you to bear in mind keeping things friendly including being respectful of others opinions even where you might not agree with them.

    To my knowledge no-one has disputed that either sex can cause harm and if we can listen to others experiences without judgement then that's one way of moving forwards. As you say yourself:
     Simple fact is, blaming each other, doesn't accomplish anything, except creating even more bad feelings towards each other.
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  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    As I have said before children can have the best life ever but still committ crime rich happy people committ crime the only fault there is 
    It is the person who has committed the crime wether it be a man a woman or a child we are not our children and our children are not us we  are all individual people 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    1.8 million single parents In the UK 90 per cent single mothers and 10 per cent single fathers  figures on the gingerbread site 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    212,000 same sex parents  (,gay) according to national statistics  website 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    There are 1.8 million parents who have a disability 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    Sorry 1.7 million disabled parents 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    545 males arrested in England and Wales in 2020 and 96 females 

    87 000 men were raped in England and Wales it is higher for women but it happens more than prople think  think all these figures are online

    The individuals are to blame  


  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Pioneering
    I apologise for my language, and like i said, I'm not blaming anyone, and people generalising the problem  just doesn't help. kids grow up in many different environments, some not good, in fact really bad. I would love to watch tv and not hear that someone has been stabbed or sexually assaulted. The law is not going to stop this problem! Some of the sentences are laughable. Another woman assaulted by a police officer yesterday, that made me mad, they make an oath to protect. It just made me think,'why'? There has got to be a way out of this, throwing stones isn't one of them. 
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    @Audinut70 crimes like this go back years and police men have been known to committ crime for years the law punishes but it doesn't always stop them re offending  even in prison 

    There is only so much the law can do crimes against children are high  as well the law needs to look at harder punishment and therapy 

    I cant remember what the programme was I was watching but there were male and female sexoffenders  and they were saying why they did it and a few of them blamed tv programmes  they wanted to try it to see what it was like 

    I think these days it's reported more than it used to be or we notice more becsusecwe are in lock down 

    Knife crime has escalated over the past year people's behaviors seem to have changed since the pandemic from seeing the news and reading newspapers 

    I am surprised how many married people rape or harm in pairs but thsts not new either rose and Fred West  myra Hindley and her partner 

    When you hear about the police committing crimes have they done it before and got away with it ??

    There is a case being reopend in wales the Clydach murders its now thought that a serving police officer committed the crimes and not the person who is in prison 


  • woodbine
    woodbine Community member Posts: 11,519 Disability Gamechanger
    We imprison more people than almost all comparable countries, over 90,000 often for stupid reasons, if we cleared the prisons of most non violent prisoners then the prison service could concentrate on rehabilitating violent prisoners.
    Whilst I agree that prison is and should be punishment we do need to work with criminals to help get them back into society.
    2024 The year of the general election...the time for change is coming 💡

  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,911 Disability Gamechanger
    @woodbine yes thats very true but as you say whst is needed is therapy  and things like that  becsuse even life isn't life when you thry go to prison thdy could be out in 15 years 

    They could curfew and tag people with a less serious crime  but people still come out of prison and some not all do re offend  it's also been known thst some one with less serous crimes thst have come out of prison have gone on to committ a more serious crime 
  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Pioneering
    edited March 2021
    This Will make a lot of people happy, i wont be posting anything here again, there's not much point. I certainly won't be recommending it to any friends. Our problems cant be discussed. We just have to put up and shut up. 1 member of staff here has offered any kind of support. His is supposed to be a support forum, yet i feel more alienated than ever. The cause of my depression, are telling me that I'm the problem. I won't be specific, like im supposed to be, because nobody wants to hear it. These people need to take a long, hard look at themselves, A support forum that leaves you feeling worse than before you joined. Having to worry about what you say, because what's going on in your head has to be censored. As long as discrimination towards men is acceptable, everyone can be happy. As long as it is too sensitive to talk about. 
    I will look for a forum that isn't biased against men. 
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
    I'm sorry to read you won't be posting anymore @Audinut70, it certainly isn't the intention of the community to make you feel as though your thoughts and feelings aren't welcome. 

    Just to be clear, we don't tolerate discrimination of any kind on the community, nor do we discourage people from speaking about their experiences of discrimination, I think people here were just mainly trying to say that no one gender should be considered fully responsible for discrimination existing in society, or how a child turns out.

    Experiences such as yours are needed to raise awareness and strive for improvement, and of course it can be beneficial to speak about what you've been through with others, in the hope that they can help you feel better or provide advice. I apologise that we haven't been able to help you it seems. 

    If you or anyone has been a victim of gender discrimination then of course that's dreadful, and even more so if you have been the victim of abuse. I accept your wish not to post on the community anymore, however you are always welcome here, and if you want to carry on the conversation privately you can always email us at community@scope.org.uk.
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  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Pioneering
    edited March 2021
    Experiences such as mine! Nobody wants to hear about about experiences such as mine, it forces people to admit that men aren't the only problem. Ive just been watching the big question! One woman called men misogynistic because he said women tell lies, im living proof they do, unfortunately, 4 of my friends aren't fortunate enough to be here to say the same .they killed themselves because they couldn't see their kids, and lied about in court to make sure they never did. And ill get blasted for telling the truth nobody wants to hear. Women tell lies, women are violent to men, women abuse men. But lets not worry about that eh! Tell me, do you still want to hear my experiences, it involves every one of them?
  • NotReally
    NotReally Community member Posts: 59 Pioneering
    lisathomas50 said:

    The individuals are to blame 
    While this is absolutely true, it is also true that there are endemic cultural issues that needs to be addressed. 

    I've been the victim of domestic abuse, both emotional and physical, and while my former wife needs to take responsibility for her actions (although I think this is extremely unlikely), I also see the underlaying influences that pushed her towards the abusive behaviour - which are essentially the same cultural influences that push the men who engage in this behaviour in the same ways. 

    Unless we as a society address these issues, the violence and abuse will continue.
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,652 Disability Gamechanger
    NotReally said:
    lisathomas50 said:

    The individuals are to blame 
    While this is absolutely true, it is also true that there are endemic cultural issues that needs to be addressed. 

    I've been the victim of domestic abuse, both emotional and physical, and while my former wife needs to take responsibility for her actions (although I think this is extremely unlikely), I also see the underlaying influences that pushed her towards the abusive behaviour - which are essentially the same cultural influences that push the men who engage in this behaviour in the same ways. 

    Unless we as a society address these issues, the violence and abuse will continue.

    I'm sorry to read that you've been a victim. Was the abuse reported and dealt with at the time? And have you received support to move on from it?
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