Mens abuse

Audinut70
Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Empowering
edited March 2021 in Coffee lounge
Ive heard enough about all men being to blame. Ive  been on the receiving end of abuse by women, false accusations, which trashed my life, first suicide attempt,violence and having my kids used as weapons to control me. But i suppose we deserve this.
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Comments

  • Oxonlady
    Oxonlady Scope Member Posts: 563 Pioneering
    Hi @Audinut70, I find it quite upsetting to read about violence and aggression, irrespective of the gender of the perpetrator.
    The fact is that some people think it's all right to be aggressive or abusive and seem to target certain people. This starts at school with bullying and some people carry on being bullies.
    I don't think we should be focusing on gender because the most important aspect of all of this is that people should find other ways to behave rather than just lashing out without thinking.
    If each and every person, men and women, and any other gender in between, were considerate towards others, thought about the consequences of their actions and truly wanted to make a difference to improve society, things would be so much better for everyone.

    We shouldn't have to have arguments about what men or women do if everyone took personal responsibility seriously. Society should encourage individuals to be respectful and kind towards others, no matter who they are. 
  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Empowering
    edited March 2021
    Yeah, that would be great, but the fact is,men are abused by women, but nobody wants to hear that. And ill bet 99% of men don't even mention it, shame,embarrassment, or just because people wont believe them. So it's not just a woman problem, its about time we stopped pretending it is.
    I'm still hearing on the news"how men behave" what do you think this is doing to men like me? Ima victim, but I'm also being ostracized for being a man.is this not abuse?
  • Oxonlady
    Oxonlady Scope Member Posts: 563 Pioneering
    Hi @Audinut70, of course, I understand what you are saying and your pain and distress are real.

    Unfortunately I've heard of another man whose wife was abusive to him, but I've also heard of gay men being abused by  straight men simply because of their sexuality, gang violence is rife in London where I live.

    The point I'm trying to make is that aggression and abuse are never right, whether the perpetrator is a man or a woman. The distress is just as real, no matter who the victim is.

  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    As I said on the other thread men are abused by men  women are abused by women and men are abused by women and women abused by men.

    There are also male and female sex offenders and whoever does wrong should be punished by the law 
  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Empowering
    Oxonlady said:
    Hi @Audinut70, of course, I understand what you are saying and your pain and distress are real.

    Unfortunately I've heard of another man whose wife was abusive to him, but I've also heard of gay men being abused by  straight men simply because of their sexuality, gang violence is rife in London where I live.

    The point I'm trying to make is that aggression and abuse are never right, whether the perpetrator is a man or a woman. The distress is just as real, no matter who the victim is.

    Unfortunately, all I'm hearing is that men are the problem, i saw one banner, the problem starts and ends with men. Where's our representation? But of course, men can't be victims, we're the problem. 
  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Empowering
    Like most protests, it'll come to nothing, a lot of humming and harring, promises here, there, i would love to see an end to women being hurt. But throwing stones at men isn't going to help their cause, men that can hurt women aren't going to like it. I'm just annoyed at the lack of representation for Male sufferers. I know a few that have been on the receiving end of a woman's anger.
  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Empowering
    Thanks, But I'm sorry, once a man has kids, the woman has, uses, and abuses that power to use the kids, so please don't tell me about the power men have over women. I had no control, even say, in my 18 year relationship, i was kicked out if i didn't tow the line. Just look at how many men have to jump through hoops to get access to their kids. Thats men having power? The fact is, women wont be happy until they can lock us in a box until they're ready to let us out.
  • Lisatho11987777
    Lisatho11987777 Scope Member Posts: 5,874 Championing
    The baroness threw this all up in the air by using the Sarah Everard as a domestic abuse platform  but it wasn't domestic abuse it was a police officer so if the baroness is saying all men should be off the street is ridiculous at 6pm 

    If some one either male female adult or child has committed abuse then they are the people who need to be off the streets at 6pm and tagged but it can't be indefinite  it would have to be realistic for a certain amount time and if committed another abuse crime the curfew is made longer 

    This punishment would only be for those who didn't commit an abuse crime that could be given a prison sentence 

    The pandemic has caused more abuse to accure  but for the life of me why a serving police officer would want to  do such a thing is beyond me and they wonder why the public don't trust the police 


  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Empowering
    Now I've just realized, these unfair claims against all men,having to defend ourselves, have taken the attention away from women that are really hurt and murdered. I know there are problems for women, but some of the accusations are just annoying and impossible to avoid unless we just aren't here. 
    Eg. I see a woman i fancy, but i can't approach her because i don't know if its going to be a welcome or unwelcome approach. 
  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Empowering
    edited March 2021
    This topic has proven my point, nobody wants to talk about men being victims. We're just inconsequential,  windgers. It's about time we had a voice. 
  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Empowering
    I thought this was supposed to be a support forum, my life and mental health have been destroyed, which i lived with and kept my mouth shut,until this men are the problem ****. I would love to see the reaction if men had the balls to stand up. Although i do understand, i can only do this now because my kids cant be turned against me anymore. 
     As long as the conversation fits and its not too sensitive your welcome.
    People want a fair world? Yet some people are prioritised, good luck with that.
  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Empowering
    A few statistics for you. Not that they matter eh.
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    Audinut70 said:
    This topic has proven my point, nobody wants to talk about men being victims. We're just inconsequential,  windgers. It's about time we had a voice. 
    I think everybody acknowledges that both men and women can be victims of abuse, and anybody who is a victim deserves the same level of support to overcome the emotional trauma that can entail. 

    It's worth noting that it can be a hard subject for people to speak about, due to it's sensitive nature and the fact that some people find it really difficult to speak about it because of what they may have been through.

    Please take note of the resources provided above by Tori if you ever need support for what you've been through, and I hope you have coping techniques in place so you can effectively manage your mental health.
  • Queenofdisabilities
    Queenofdisabilities Community member Posts: 91 Connected
    No one has said men cant have a voice no one.
    I've been to hell & back & very sadly I've suffered both lots of very serious abuse & its scarred me for life.
    Its broken me & i will never ever recover & be the same again.
    I really hope you talk about your abuse as all men should do.
    Abuse isn't just for women its for men aswell.
    Take care & good luck.

  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Empowering
    edited March 2021
    There's nothing anyone can do for me, the damage is done, a bit of support would have sufficed, but I'm going to leave people something to think about. 
     Men start life as boys, who have parents, usually 2, but more common now,1, mostly the mother. Men have no rights in this department. Now tell me! Who is responsible for the way their boy turns out? So in theory, women are the problem for not bringing their sons up to 'respect' women. 
     Just a bit of food for thought. 
  • Ross_Alumni
    Ross_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 7,611 Championing
    I'm not sure we can say any particular parent is to blame for how somebody may turn out @Audinut70. In this case, even if a child doesn't live with their father and just lives with their mother, the father will still have a drastic impact on how the child Is brought up. I can speak from my own personal experience in that regard.

    Parenting is a joint responsibility, regardless of who lives with who. In addition to this, life experiences will influence a person's personality as well, as well as the people they surround themselves with socially. To generalise it and say that the mother is mostly to blame for how the child turns out is not fair on both mothers and fathers.
  • Audinut70
    Audinut70 Community member Posts: 133 Empowering
    edited March 2021
    Im not blaming anyone,unlike women blaming men, i simply put a theory out there. Not nice is it? And blaming the dad! That dad was once a boy,i knew someone would use that one. Simple fact is, blaming each other, doesn't accomplish anything, except creating even more bad feelings towards each other. A solution is definitely needed, and working together has got to be better. Not all men are <moderator removed - profanities not allowed on the community>. I dont want women to be scared if I'm walking down the street, i dont want to be made to feel like I'm a threat either. Yous <moderator removed - offensive language> at the thought of being to blame, think what it feels like to good caring men, that have also suffered. Honesty is the first step, men hurt women with their fists and sexual assaults, women hurt men with assault, false allegations and their kids. Until we accept that, there's always going to be a problem. 

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