Mens abuse

Lisatho11987777

@NotReally sorry this hsppend to you but the person has to take responsibility I understand what your saying but every one has a choice they don't have to abuse some one they don't have to rape someone they choose to do it 

I had loads of counciling after what happend to me and the judge in Chambers said to me that the people who did what they did to me and the others chose to do it nothing makes anyone do anything unless they have a mental disease that causes them to do these things but the people who did what they did they did it by choice 

Lisatho11987777

Men and women committ abuse wether it be violence  sexusl abuse financial abuse verbal abuse mental abuse men women and children have been found guilty of these crimes its not just men 

Sandy_123

@leeCal I don't blame you, lucky escape

Lisatho11987777

@woodbine utter madness whsts wrong with people 

cartha

Audinut70 said:

Experiences such as mine! Nobody wants to hear about about experiences such as mine, it forces people to admit that men aren't the only problem. Ive just been watching the big question! One woman called men misogynistic because he said women tell lies, im living proof they do, unfortunately, 4 of my friends aren't fortunate enough to be here to say the same .they killed themselves because they couldn't see their kids, and lied about in court to make sure they never did. And ill get blasted for telling the truth nobody wants to hear. Women tell lies, women are violent to men, women abuse men. But lets not worry about that eh! Tell me, do you still want to hear my experiences, it involves every one of them?

I understand how difficult this is and I don't have a solution but I've had similar experiences. I left an abusive marriage of ten years with my baby daughter thanks to help from friends and family. I was never able to get any professional support, and suffer to this day from things that were done to me back then (2008). My ex still tries to get at me even though I have nothing to do with her. I can't get an injunction because she hasn't done anything physical to me. One social worker I reported her to told me "Well, we only have your word on that, don't we". It was very difficult for me to speak out about it and I got shut down with one sentence from someone I thought would be able to help me. Another social worker, an assistant manager, just laughed at me when I told him of the abuse I had been through. My GP referred me to the local mental health hospital twice and they told me they couldn't help me because I have autism. I'm currently on the waiting list for the Integrated Autism Service. Not sure if they can help with anything other than managing autism but I'll have to see when the time comes. I tend to keep quiet about my experiences because so many people seem to not think it is as serious as abuse women suffer from men. I do seem to have a habit of picking abusive women, just as some women seem to have a habit of picking abusive men. So maybe the problem is me. My last two relationships affected my daughter so I have made a decision to stay out of relationships for now.

There does seem to be more support for abused women but women are more likely to speak out. I think men keeping quiet makes it difficult to assess what services are required. I know I'm generalising a bit but that's the way it appears to me from my own experiences.

@Tori_Scope Thank you for posting the list of links, I didn't know about most of those organisations.

Lisatho11987777

@cartha don't ever think its not important  what happend to you women do abuse men they think they can get away with it because they count on men not to report it because of embarrassment 

Women do get prosecuted for abusing men its more recognised now and there is more help and organisations as tori scope has put links on for you sorry this happend to you  hope things get better for you 

cartha

@lisathomas50 It's my word against hers. She has actually accused me of being the abusive one in the relationship after I made accusations against her. There is no evidence of anything, it was mental and emotional abuse. It still goes on when she gets a chance but the things she says and does aren't seen by other people as abusive because they are triggers aimed for me. Only a few people very close to me know what has really gone on. The reaction I received from the authorities was enough to put me off that route. I do have photos and recordings of some things that happened but nobody even wants to see them. Thank you for your concern.

Lisatho11987777

@cartha so sorry I have no words it will come to light one day hope you can get help with this so that you can have closure  ? I had alot of help to get my closure you will get there she isnt worth it ?

Audinut70

I don't know if abuse and violence are down to revenge because it has happened to them, but it does seem like it's the good guys that are targeted. Men and women. 
 All of my girlfriends before, were great, I still talk to most of them on social media, ive been really lucky that way. I was 28 when I  was accused, life went downhill from then. I walked straight into the abusive relationship, that was great at first. Then my first son to her was born, that's when the controlling started ,she knew that I'd lost access to a son when i was 21, I wouldn't get back with her, ao she refused me access, so knew i would do whatever she wanted to be with my son,i was still kicked out for a variety of petty reasons. 
 Ive been single for 4 years now, by choice, fear,  but my isolating has made me realise how lonely i am now. 

Audinut70

Now that it's coming out, i could probably write a short book about the experiences of me and my brother, who was the only person I could talk to, i wouldn't dare tell my sisters,  ive got 5,older, but he died 3 weeks ago of covid.

Caz_Alumni

Hello @Audinut70 , 

I wanted to get in touch with you about your recent posts above. I'm pretty new to the community and we haven't spoken before, but I can see that you've had a lot going on recently and you've also had a lot to deal with in the past, particularly when you talk about the experiences of you and your brother. 

I just wanted to reach out, offer my support, and maybe encourage you to have a think about the help that might be available to you - either in terms of perhaps reporting some of the things that you've mentioned, or speaking to somebody who could offer you some additional support. 

Do message us if that's something that you would like to speak about, or there's anything else that we can help you with.

cartha

Sorry to hear about your brother, @Audinut70. I lost access to my first daughter when I was 24/25 and she was just a few weeks old but we were lucky enough to get in touch again when she was eighteen. As much as I don't want to get into a relationship and experience more problems, I also wish I had someone close who I could spend time with and grow old with.

Lisatho11987777

@woodbine so they committ crime  because they don't agree with a crime bill  well let's hope they get the punishment thry deserve 

Lisatho11987777

@woodbine just the minority then as normal 

Audinut70

Hi,@Caz_Scope. Thanks for the understanding, obviously, the police knew about my being accused, and pushing for slander or defamation, would have just drew more attention, my life was already in danger. 
 The violence and abuse, i chose to live with, because not doing so, leaving, would have meant not seeing my sons. Reporting it now would just incur more threats and violence from her family. I live happily now, knowing that my sons hate that side of their family, men and women. They've had their own experiences of abuse from them. 
 I had it for 15 years, they had it till about 4 years ago, they refused to have anything to do with them, thats when I left knowing they were old enough, and couldn't be turned against me. I still get on with her, and held when she needs it. To be honest, my relationship isn't my main problem, where I grew up, fighting was part of life. Being accused of what I was, where I lived, didn't give much life expectancy. The pure fact of who really knew me, and my family got me through.