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Dollydaydream Member Posts: 2 Listener
Hi, I'm dollydaydream (my Dads nickname for me as a kid ) and I'm really struggling. I have been disabled for a while now but, in the last 6 months, my mobility has gone downhill fast. I can't even walk to my car now, and I couldn't drive it anyway. I feel so isolated. My husband's great but he works full-time so most days I see no-one all day. To be fair when he does suggest going out I won't go because I don't want anyone to see me like this. My problems have now started to effect my hands  so the hobbies I did have are no longer possible, knitting, sewing, embroidery, etc. All I seem to have left is reading. God I've just read back what I've written and I sound like a total whinger! I know there are a lot worse of than I am. I try to stay positive but sometimes it so hard.


  • janer1967
    janer1967 Member Posts: 13,393 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi and welcome to the community 

    You are not a whinger it is hard to come to terms with a disability and how it changes your life its a not like grieving process 

    I totally empathise l lost my leg 3 years ago and my job   my house  my independence and my marriage prior to this 

    Then 2 years ago the sight in one eye and impaired vision getting worse in the  other 

    My point is things get better as you get used to a different life and find other things to do and different ways to do things 

    Take care we are always here for support 
  • Tori_Scope
    Tori_Scope Posts: 7,086

    Scope community team

    Welcome to the community @Dollydaydream :) Thanks for joining, and for making such an honest first post.

    As Janer1967 has said, you're not whinging at all. It sounds as though you've had to deal with a lot, especially over the past 6 months. 

    I know it's much easier said than done, but try not to focus too much on what people might think of you if you were to go out with your husband. Is there somewhere that you feel familiar and comfortable with that you and your husband could visit to get you used to getting out and about again?

    Another option could be to explore the possibility of online social or activity groups. Would that be something you'd be willing to try? It could help you to build your confidence back up without having to leave the house.

    I'm aware of some adaptations that are available for knitting and the like. There are some suggestions in the comments on this post, which might get you started. 

    Have you considered trying another creative hobby that might be more manageable for now? For example, I've heard felting is fun and a little more accessible than some other crafts. Is there anything else that you've enjoyed in the past, or wanted to try, that you think you'd be able to do at the moment? 

    Have you been reading anything good recently? 

    I also just wanted to pick-up on the fact that you sound as though maybe you're feeling quite low at the moment, which is completely understandable. Have you considered seeking any support for your mental health? 
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  • chiarieds
    chiarieds Community Co-Production Group Posts: 11,668 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Dollydaydream - & welcome to this friendly & supportive community. Thank you for joining, but also for trying to stay positive, as I know that can often be so hard.
    I hope this community will help you feel less isolated, but appreciate that's not the same as getting out of the house as, & when, you'd like. I completely agree with Tori, don't worry about what other people think, just try & enjoy some short breaks outside with your husband, even if it's perhaps just a run out in the car.
    I'm pleased you seem to enjoy reading, as I'm definitely a bookworm! Do you enjoy listening to music, watching TV or films? If so, you might enjoy visiting our virtual 'Coffee lounge,' where these & many other topics are discussed. You can find the link to this at the top of the page, & it's a good place to start to meet other members. I look forward to hearing from you again. :)
  • Caz_Alumni
    Caz_Alumni Scope alumni Posts: 624 Pioneering
    edited May 2021
    Hello @Dollydaydream :)

    I just wanted to stop by and say hello. How are you doing today? Have you had chance to explore the community and start to find your way around? 

    As you can see we're a friendly bunch and there's nearly always somebody around for a chat. So, please do stop by whenever you feel like talking to somebody. And please don't say that you sound like a whinger. Far from it! You sound like a lovely person to get to know, and I particularly like your username!

    Hope you have a peaceful and relaxing Sunday and see you again soon :smile:

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