In hospital and not for mental health this time

I really appreciate each and every one of you I don’t know what I would of done with out you all whether it’s my mental health journey or my epilepsy you have been threw it all with me . I’m looking forward to a good future now my mental health is under control and hopefully my seizures will be under control too soon but so far so good . I heard bout a support group for epilepsy bout 30 mins away from me I’m gonna go and see what it’s all bout it be nice to meet people experiencing the same things as me .x

despite advice from love ones I decided to go to work I joined a child care agency that supplies nursery nurses to a popular local nursery chain . I did my first day yesterday I was in the baby room I was so worried I would fit so I just played on the floor with the children didn’t pick any up . I got so paranoid I would fit I started to hear voices and I got in a panic and I started to cry which was embarrassing . This new medication seems to be working well which is good . I decided to do another shift on Thursday but I have asked to be with the older children like ages 4 to 5 then I don’t have to panic as much .

I’m enjoying doing my course and my little job it’s so hard being disabled and working but I see it as little wins . Mental illness is some thing I have lived threw for years and I’m so proud of my self for doing some thing new I don’t believe I would be where Iam today with out my lovely friends on this forum

hi every one just heading into work now . I start early today at 7am I hope I’m working with the older children today . I work in different rooms because I’m casual staff . Casual staff suits me better so I can choose my own shifts so much better . I hope I don’t fit or have a panick attack today .

The only problem is this new medication has given me side effects of bad back and legs it’s so painful to move about that’s why I’m hope I’m with the older children today because I don’t think I can be picking up babies all day .

I bumped into a old friend from hospital yesterday from mental health hospital she’s still really poorly and it just triggered me the things she was saying but it didn’t put me back I just told her to have faith and things will get better .

I’m far from being well but I’m trying my best to battle through each day and really trying even tho it’s so hard .

hi I had a good day yesterday but struggled towards the end I was working with the much older children so it was a lot easy enough to hide my panic . With the babies it’s hard to hide anxiety and panic because they require your attention constantly. I wonder where I’ll be today .

I work for a agency that supplies staff to a small chain of nurseries so each week could be a different nursery and each day it’s different rooms you don’t get a set room when your agency staff .

Next week I’m in a different nursery to this one so I hope there nice like this nursery is .

I find that when your new and that your not part of the team they sort of treat you differently . I really like this branch I hope to work here again soon . But there seems to be plenty of work at this nursery chain .

My seizures seem to be under control since my new meds it’s just the side effects I have to deal with that are hard but I’ll battle threw them .

aww cool what ages does your grand daughter work with ? I was with the older children again yesterday which was much better for me I’m at a different nursery next week same company but different nursery I hope I get on well there . You can’t go wrong really as long as you’re interacting with the children . The side effects are prob gonna get worst as the medication is increased .

I might go to the Xmas markets today which is some thing I haven’t done in years because of the crowds but I’m feeling like I can face them today . I might ask my support worker to come along with me she’s coming to see me tomorrow to take me shopping .

My seizures seem to be under control now which is so good I’m glad the medication has been started and that it’s working .