Mental health

WhatThe

🍓 it's a shame you don't have enough support at home but that's not uncommon for yet-to-be-diagnosed autistic people. It didn't seem to matter to anyone else when I told them so try to prepare yourself for indifference. Have you considered whether family members might share these conditions, more often inherited from the father?

Is the pacemaker making a difference and helping you sleep better? Do you have a Health Visitor to check on your physical health?

Nightcity

have a great evening @Strawberry1 💛

@Jane315STARX Not too bad thanks basically the advice is let amlodipine get out my system 6-12 days keep an eye on BP and swelling let them know in 2 weeks if swelling persists or worsens further.

How you doing today after this weeks trials?

Strawberry1

Thank you @WhatThe

Im grateful you chat too me .

I just get this feeling that i just aint good enough

All i do is mess everything up

Thats what i get told .

Thanks again @WhatThe

Nightcity

@Strawberry1 It's a genuine pleasure chatting with you, always, and you haven't messed anything up 💛

Strawberry1

@WhatThe , ive no idea if close family and others have any neurodivergance .

One person in particular slates me regulary over my adhd .

Maybe i deserve all the hatred

We will always have haters even family

Strawberry1

My sleep has been all over the place for years @WhatThe

Not sure if its made a diffence to my sleep .

No i dont have an outside carer .

Deep down i know what i should do ( get away )

Not sure I have the strength

Not a strong person at the end of the day

Strawberry1

Hope you have a good evening too @Nightcity

Take care

Strawberry1

Hope things have gotten a little bit easier today @Jane315STARX .

I sent a couple of messages yesterday .

Ive got a lot going on too have done for years ( family stuff )

I dont know if i fit in anywhere

Always seem to be in the bad books

Strawberry1

Its home where im messing up @Nightcity .

You know about it all .

Yes this silly person is a glutton for punishment

I know how stupid i am

Strawberry1

My bad @Nightcity

My bad

Its ok

As ive said loads of times before everyone hates me in the end .

I have to accept it .

Sorry

Im just a nightmare @Nightcity

An utter nightmare and Im truly sorry

I dont deserve kindness of any kind whatsoever

Strawberry1

So sorry to everyone

I apologise wholeheartedly

Strawberry1

Since being little Ive not really been liked

So i should be used to it

Littlefatfriend

In my experience Strawberry1 anyone who doesn't sometimes feel inadequate is either a narcissist or a psychopath.

The world is a very big place full of complicated people (like me!) and much of human behaviour is driven by fear.

What's always helped me most is mentally stepping back, distracting myself for a while so I can then come back to whatever is going on with a new perspective. Finding solutions. To misquote Take That (or whoever it was!) things can almost always be improved and that's very rarely as hard as it first looks.

I've often found it helpful to make lists of which aspects of difficult situations I (or anyone else) might reasonably change. I find that makes it easier to imagine how I might do that (or encourage others to).

As others have suggested above, time and space to think for ourselves can be very healing. As can "talking" through things with other people.

If people ever tell you you're not good enough, I encourage you to forget them and talk to others. There are loads of us these days!

My first question to them would be "What's your point? What's the purpose of you saying that? How and whom does that help?". Unless I was counselling them I'd probably also swear at them a lot more in real life, but this isn't the place for that. Most often people who would say something like that are only trying to make themselves feel better. That only suggests they don't think they're good enough either. It's frankly pathetic but that's just how some people find themselves to be. It's bad for them too. There's nothing good or constructive in criticism unless it presents solutions.

Perhaps you might make a list of what you might like to change? How things could be better for you? Who/where/how would you prefer to be?

That's just my approach though, and there are lots of others.

Good luck

Strawberry1

Thats very kind of you to say what u have said

I do try to ignore it but other times it gets the better of me .

Your right @Littlefatfriend , i do need to write things down etc .

Ive tried to sort this situation out before and ended up being a coward and backing down

Something Im good at ( backing down )

I know deep down the answer

Putting it into action is so hard for me .

Ever so grateful for your kindness and support

Very grateful

Strawberry1

Things in life come along to try us

There should be light at the end of the tunnel .

Ive spoken to others in similar situations

They empathise alot because they are dealing with exactly the same thing and like me dont always move away to get away from it all .

Strawberry1

I will always be grateful for this space

Sometimes dealing alone is difficult

Sorry

WhatThe

https://forum.scope.org.uk/discussion/comment/1088861#Comment_1088861

It's always difficult when you feel unsupported and misunderstood. I internalised all the disappointment and irritation I caused in my family too.

I avoided crying for years (from numbness) and when I did, it felt as though it would never stop. That's when you feel most alone and it is truly horrible. Only one person supported me pre and post assessment but I hadn't discovered Scope 😃

Writing helped me in my teenage years and beyond so posting here is encouraged if it's therapeutic for you. There are lots of us who understand you perfectly AND we like you 🍓

Littlefatfriend

I'm just telling it like it is thanks Strawberry1.
I don't ignore people if they try to upset me. I laugh at them. They and their opinions are of no consequence to me whatsoever. I'm alright thanks. They're the ones wasting their energy. It's stupid of them and totally pointless. And it's bad for them too. I'll never care what they think! It's my life🤣

Please, it isn't cowardice that tells us to back down Strawberry1. It's human nature.
Where it's available, leaving everything alone will always be easier than doing something. Change can always seem scary because we can't predict the future. But that's why so many people abuse drugs and alcohol, addictively gamble, tolerate abusive relationships, don't complain about bosses exploiting them, etc, etc...
Change can be wonderful too!

To quote John Lennon "Life is what happens to you while you're busy making other plans". But lots of things remain consistent.

We are not solitary animals, we're designed to be social. To thrive together. But that's at least in part because predators exist, and together we're stronger.

Please don't think you need to apologise. We can all sometimes benefit from advice, in my time(s) I very certainly have!

Good luck

Strawberry1

Eternally grateful to both of u @WhatThe and @Littlefatfriend

Thanks

Strawberry1

I appreciate what you both have said @WhatThe and @Littlefatfriend

Forever grateful