International Womens Day - Navigating Motherhood With A Disability with Sarah

Mary_Scope

Part One - Celebrating Disabled Mothers and Mothers of Disabled Children
Part Three - Challenging Attitudes Towards Mothers of Disabled Children with Jenna

As part of celebrating International Womens Day on the community this week, this is an interview with Sarah who is a Child and Family Specialist on Scope Helpline

This post is about Sarah’s perspective as a disabled woman and mother to two children.

We hope this post helps transforms people attitudes towards disabled people and helps them understand the experiences that some disabled mothers may experience in society.

What's the biggest misconception people have about disabled mothers and how has your experience proved it wrong?

That the challenges the disabled person faces will have a negative impact on their children.

I wouldn’t say that there has been no negative impact because they have occasionally missed out, because I couldn’t get them somewhere for instance, but there have been positives too.

They have learnt about resourcefulness, resilience and empathy and when they started to be more independent, they were more prepared than some of their peers.
They certainly knew all the bus routes!

How has your experience as a mother shaped your understanding of disability, both your own and other peoples?

It helped with empathy when having a daughter with a different condition to my own. Although the challenges were different, I understood that it’s about working out how to best live your life and not compare it to the lives of others.

What are some of the biggest barriers you've encountered in terms of accessibility or inclusion as a parent, and what changes would make the biggest difference?

Being able to access written information relating to them (school letters/reports medical

information). You can get information for yourself in accessible formats but it’s harder to get information relating to your child in accessible formats. This isn’t really a challenge anymore though due to digital communication.

My kids missing out on parties and clubs that were not easily assessable by public transport.

What advice would you give to other disabled people considering parenthood?

Kids are very adaptable. There will be additional challenges but overcoming them together can also bring you closer.

The key to being the best parent you can be is doing your best and being kind to yourself if you feel you have fallen short. We all do sometimes.

What positive changes do you hope to see for disabled women and disabled parents in the future?

More empathy - parenting is a tough but very important job!

What message would you like to share with other disabled women or mothers within the disability community?

Be kind to yourselves on the tough days because no one is perfect. Some days parenting feels like a never-ending and thankless task but other days it’s the best job in the world!

Holly_Scope

This is a really interesting read - thanks for sharing @Mary_Scope

Mary_Scope

Thank you, it is an important perspective to share!

Louloubell1980

Thanks for sharing. I can relate to it in so many ways. It got me down for so long not being able to drive over the past 20 years and being unable to drive my children to school or events they wanted to go. Or having seizures unexpectedly or getting confused during siezures. Being unable to cook without someone near me as using a hob or oven was dangerous as i could have up to 5 seizures a day. I was so grateful a publisher helped me share my story in a book released on national women's day and raise money for a charity (women's aid) at the same time and raise hidden disabilities awareness too.