World Autism Acceptance Month - Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA)

Mary_Scope

Part One - World Autism Acceptance Month – Introduction for Parents and Carers

Part Two - World Autism Acceptance Month - Practical Strategies for Parents and Carers Part Three - World Autism Awareness Month - Autism and Girls

Pathological Demand Avoidance(PDA or sometimes known as Persistent Drive for Autonomy) is a profile on the autism spectrum characterized by an extreme avoidance of everyday demands and expectations. This is driven by a need to feel in control. It isn’t defiance or stubbornness as it comes from a place of deep anxiety which is often misunderstood.

Traits of PDA in Children..
• They may avoid everyday tasks like toothbrushing or getting dressed but also things they usually enjoy, like playing a favorite game
• Needing control over situations which is often to reduce anxiety
• Using distraction, excuses, or humour to avoid doing things
• Has sudden mood swings or meltdowns
• Enjoying roleplay and they may use it to escape real life demands

• Showing high anxiety, especially around expectations
• Straight out refusing to do tasks

Children with PDA often perceive demands as threats to their autonomy. Even everyday requests can trigger intense anxiety which lead to avoidance, shutdowns or meltdowns.

Strategies That Help
• Reduce Direct Demands
Try “I wonder if...” or “Let’s see if we can...” instead of commands. Using tools like Post-its, text messages, or even an Alexa can help since the request isn’t coming directly from you. This makes it feel less personal and less demanding.

• Humour and Playfulness

Turning tasks into a silly games, challenges, role plays, stories etc can reduce the perceived threat. Even doing silly voices or silly movements for younger children or using their interests such as a puppet or a stuffed animal.

• Offer Choices
Giving options (even small ones) helps your child feel more in control.

• Pick Your Battles
Prioritize what really matters and let go of smaller issues when you can. I know this can be easier said than done at first!

• Reduce Pressure
Keep things flexible and low demand whenever possible.

Further Information
What is PDA? (video)
PDA Strategies
PDA Society

Have you experienced PDA traits in your child? What words of wisdom would like you to share with other parents and members on the community? My colleague Albus wrote a fantastic post about his experience with PDA as an adult which i really recommend reading!

This is the last post for World Autism Acceptance Month so please comment below what you would like the focus for the family side of the community to be next!