Back from The Brink ...
Comments
-
A song for you dear @WelshBlue π
Sharing Is Caring π
1 -
@Kiki23 β¦ thank you. That is very powerful. Music can say things words alone can't say. In all honesty I don't think I'd still be here without having had music in my life. Sounds melodramatic β¦ but true
I can relate to the sentiment in that song so much, so thank you.
Rascal Flatts are a new one to me β¦ gonna enjoy going down the YouTube rabbit hole listening to more
1 -
Not been around for a little while but lovely to hear your last few songs @WelshBlue. I must admit I keep going back to 'Not my Burden', 'Manchester Rain' and 'The Needle and the Roses'....I'll know them off by heart by the end of the week I'm sure π« π. Did mean to come back to say it was pretty much a mediative state they took me to rather than mindfulness.
Your comment about embracing it all really resonates, I embrace my experiences, good and bad - as well as my imperfections. An old friend said to me a few days ago, 'I like you very much J, just exactly as you are'. We had a right good laugh about that when I reminded her it's a line from Bridget Jones but without the exactly π (from Darcy). It reminded me not to apologise for who I am. Your music reminds me of that. You're a Maestro imo and I appreciate you sharing your music, very much π.
1 -
@Santosha12 β¦ thanks. Not My Burden is very special to me. It means I won β¦ not them.
The Needle & The Roses β¦ again I won. Overcame what I became β¦ because of them. Why else would you go from a non-smoker to a, well junkie (although I hate that word)
It's not always what we do in this life, it's how we admit/change the mistakes we've made. At least that's a mantra I adhere to
As for imperfections β¦ I've many, like a craggy rock β¦ but like that rock, will always be solid for those who need me. I'm sure everyone who knows you thinks you're perfect. As for Bridget Jones β¦ you'd get on with my wife β¦ huge fangirl of the films
A Maestro ? An Austin Maestro maybe β¦ but thankfully I don't break down as often π
Dancing In The Rain β¦ inspired to write this for someone I know. The man (I use that term very loosely) she was with β¦ well not a nice person, and thankfully she found the strength to walk away. A bit of poetic licence in this one but β¦
Concrete Echoes β¦ don't really want to put a synopsis. Just very personal to me, 34 years later
1 -
@WelshBlue 'Dancing In the Rain' "Every drop feels like a second chance, I'm taking back my life taking back my dance".... Pure Gold... that's up there for me with 'Not my Burden'.
I say my dogs are Practically Perfect in Every Way [Mary Poppins] whereas I'm imperfectly perfect; the burden the world can lay on me for anything resembling perfection no longer has a place of importance. At the grand 'young' age of 63 it's amazing what we can learn in order to not only still grow, but to accept ourselves.
Btw, my beautiful dog Mr. Jones (RIP 9th Aug 2017) π₯°π was named after Bridget Jones when I was unable to have the **** and as he looked like a Mr. Jones π€£ and as he was a 'singleton' like me.
Edited to add 'female dog'.
1 -
Mr. Jones AKA Jonesy-Bones. Favourite songs, 'What's in a Kiss', 'Me and Mrs Jones' (changed to 'Mr' of course) and 'Never, Never, Never'.
1 -
@Santosha12 love the photos. Sorry for your loss of Mr Jones, I know how inconsolable I'll be when my son's dog leaves us. He's been a constant help these past 3 years. He knows things no-one else does.
I think it's Watermelon Wine that's got the lyrics β¦ Old dogs care about you even when you make mistakes (God bless little children while they're still too young to hate) So very true
Both the dogs look absolute bonkers (in a good way) πPugs or terriers ?
Thanks for the kind words about my ramblings β¦ glad you can see in my head to 'get' the lyrics π
0 -
TRIGGER WARNING
Oh @WelshBlue, firstly, they're shih tzus haha but definitely look similar to pugs with their hair cuts (courtesy of me π ) and they wouldn't feel any offence being described as such. And they're most certainly bonkers ... don't they say they take after their owners?? Sometimes, in life, some things just need to be said.
This is the cushion that Jonesy passed away on... 9th August 2017... he was 'looking' at me for a good ten seconds until I realised... heartbreaking doesn't begin to describe it... I brought his bessie mate Snicket downstairs and then went back up for Jonesy, lay him on a pillow downstairs with his favourite songs from Shirley Bassey playing, especially 'Never, never, never' - "I'd like to run away from you but if you never found me, I would die, I'd like to break the chains you put around me, but I know I never will".β¦ and candles lit, then Scarperlina scurried across his body, literally walking on him π€£π₯°ππI said 'Scarperlina, have a bit of respect please'.. she was only 6 months old bless her.
If we don't have that connection I personally don't believe we truly deserve them. I took Jonesy to the vets to check he'd passed, several hours later.... it was pretty obvious. Could have avoided a 60.00 fee π. Then took him to the little park we often went to and swizzled him around on the roundabout that he'd loved. A neighbour came and took us to 'Sleepy Meadow'.
Snicket was 18 months old then and still responds to Jonesys' name today and cries for his cushion which I give him. They were truly the very best of friends and Snicket's reactions shows me how maybe, they're like elephants and really do not forget.
Despite 'appearances' I actually have many physical 'disabilities' (no mental issues) and choose to be out of here, once my dogs are. The healthcare peeps involved in my care are aware of that. I purposely choose to engage, in the meantime, not necessarily with just those who 'agree' with me.... but those who truly show compassion. To fellow humans and our beloved animals. I genuinely 'get' you. I'm grateful for your music, it resonates... if it touches my heart then it touches my dogs, for that? Yes, you're a Maestro β£οΈ
1 -
PS Mr.Jones' cushion β¦
0 -
I too have ptsd so I understand
My ex husband caused mine
I still struggle
I'll health not helping or lack of money
I also have granddaughter s
3
Aged 12 months, 16 months and 19 months
1 -
@Santosha12 β¦ apologies for the late reply β¦ been away for a couple of days in my 'trigger' city whilst my wife met her transplant team β¦ for when the time comes.
Apologies to Mr. and Mrs Jones β¦ it 's the eyes in the pics. π They do say dogs take after their owners, maybe explains Ruudy being as mad as a brush 'cos i've spent so much time with him
It sounds heartbreaking when Mr. jones passed. The sudden realisation. Sometimes words can just be platitudes because they can never touch the real feelings the other person feels
Animals are capable of so much more perception than we give them credit for, what shines through is your absolute devotion and love to your friends/family and I've no doubt they feel it and feel safe,
As to your 'future' β¦ I get it. I've always said if it wasn't for my family, well, I'd have quite happily stepped off. I've only had so many 'battles' for them but that's by the by. Until then β¦ let's keep them doubters/ haters p***sed off cos we're still here π
That said, give me animals over most humans any day β¦ I can't watch a donkey advert without crying. We may be the highest up the food chain, but we're certainly not the most evolved compassionate species. Thanks for your kind words, for understanding my thinking in my music
@Amberpearl β¦ I'm really sorry to hear that. No man or woman has the right to put anyone through that. Never. I'm saddened to hear it still affects you, I just hope you're able to get the help you need/ deserve to keep the memories away.
And that you can take joy from the lil' ones in your life. The innocents to battle the demons
Take care
0 -
@Catherine21 β¦ thank you. Maybe it's powerful because we can relate ?
I don't think any of us with the 'taste for the taste' can say we will never drink again, I know I can't, but I do know I owe it to how far I've come to battle that craving, to give it everything I've got. No matter how much I crave that release. I really didn't like that person. Great on the outside β¦
You've got this
A new song. Still Standing β¦ inspired by people. Talking to an old work mate last week, I haven't seen in years. He told me how he'd been speaking to someone we used to work with, how that person β¦ felt sorry for me because I'm not the man I was. LOL
You don't need to lift heavy weights to be strong. Not all fighting is about false masculinity. Never judge what you don't understand
@Santosha12 β¦ ( and other dog lovers) a song about our love for our canine friends
Always Waiting β¦ only a country tune works with this IMO
2 -
Absolutely no apology needed @WelshBlue, good evening and thank you for your lovely reply and words. I hope that you and your wife are back home safely and that your visit wasn't too difficult or traumatic. It's hard to imagine the uncertainty and strain you both face but I'm thinking of you. I hope your music helps and maybe brings some relaxation for you.
I especially love the 'Always Waiting' and I don't take for granted you sharing, it's very appreciated and thank you for taking your time to do that π; now, I have to say that reminded me of my Jack, my 'soul dog', the amazing little minx attached π. He came to me from Everton/rescue on Saturday 12th January 2002 and somewhat 'fittingly', passed on 12th January 2016 aged 15+ in my arms peacefully at my vets. I'd took his tape machine which had his two favourite tunes to play 'My Heart will Go On' and 'I Will Love You for A Thousand Years', I'd not appreciated quite how long they played for (c 7/8 minutes π€π) which made a solemn, very sad moment ever so slightly amusing. My vet really must have thought omg how long is this playing for π«’π€π but fair play to him, kept a straight face ha ha. Jack would have liked it anyway!!
This photo was his first day with me and I always tend to think it's a slightly self-satisfied look, I like to think he knew he (and his mum, Minnie) had well and truly, landed on their feet. We moved home twice and weren't far from Delamere Forest he used to love laying down under the extremely tall trees, gazing up. Nearer the end he had to lay in his 4 wheel 'all terrain' stroller, but always with his tape machine playing his tunes. Very special years with a very special, never to be forgotten boy.
Funny enough, I've got to go back to my home city (not local to me) in June for a scan at the MRI, first time back in 'town' for a few years and since mum passed away so mixed feelings about that. It all feels a bit irrelevant now as I'm unlikely to have surgery but I'll go through the motions/keep a bit open minded, my consultant knows my view, anything that could compromise me caring for my dogs is not happening. Anyway, I'll wait and see. Thank you again for the music πΆ π΅. Jack the munchkin attached.
0 -
@Santosha12 β¦ home safely is always a win with my driving π β¦ taken until now to recover. Everton girl ? Funnily enough we were in the new Royal in Liverpool β¦ the walk from the car park to the hospital absolutely wiped me out. All up hill. By the end I swear I was going sideways more than forewards. Fingers crossed that her bloods stay stable and her GFR doesn't reduce, then we won't be back there any time soon. Both my kids studied in Liverpool.
One teaching one paramedic science. Ruudster the Cocker Spaniel is scouse born and bred
I've had a chuckle at the vet and the music. Sad time but a memory, no matter how sad if it's accompanied with a smile, even if it's bittersweet β¦ it can help.
2 memories of my mother dying involve laughter. The first one. A nurse doing questions when she was in intensive care β¦ is she mobile β¦ my brother, yeah she's got one but I haven't got her number to hand π
The second involves me having to travel 50 miles back to the hospital to pick up the paperwork the next day β¦ walked into a cubicle for a pee, thinking this looks different to yesterday β¦ only to look behind me to see a female nurse washing her hands
All I could say was β¦ please don't scream. She saw the funny side, to the point of telling every nurse she saw on the concourse. Her pointing and laughing, me cringing
I understand your thinking about treatment and the dogs. I totally get it. Selfless. It's obvious from words on a screen that you give your pets the dedication they deserve. Jack was a handsome chap. His happiness shines through in that picture
Fingers crossed for you that the MRi is good
Take Care
0 -
Thanks so much @WelshBlue and I really hope everything stays VERY stable for your wife. I had a significant kidney injury following double pnuemonia last year and had to have continual checks on my eGFR after I had a high % loss.
I've totally misled you though, I'm a Mancunian through and through (hence capital M) π€£π. I'll continue though on the Everton theme..β¦.... Jack and his mum, Minnie were owned by a young couple near Everton football ground who split up and they were left in a backyard in a terrible mess, taken to Freshfields in Liverpool and then fostered in Ormskirk. I replied to an ad they'd placed in the 'Loot', I hadn't passed my driving test yet so they brought them to me near Altrincham at the time (in mid Cheshire now), ringing me just prior to say you do realise they're not 'show dogs', well I had no intention of showing them but had a wry smile at what they might look like. They were the most amazing little creatures it was love at first sight, he liked being called a handsome chap or little fellow π€£. Jack was petrified of flies his whole life, and newspapers, so getting a fly out of the house was a major challenge, for c 14 years. I'd have to say gently 'come now lovely fly', it did calm him a bit though I did sound a bit mad ha ha.
I'm going to Manchester Royal Infirmary as I'd asked to go for a 3rd opinion at Wythenshawe Hospital, near where I grew up. They've been amazing, very, very grateful to them.
Lovely to hear your stories, humour's important!! My mum was fiercely independent, including when in her nursing home, all 4ft 9in and five stone of her. But a great sense of humour and the most gentlest soul. We were very lucky. The day before she passed in Dec '22 she was pushing her little trolley/ walker into the staff who were trying to stop her walking anywhere. They rang me to help I said let her walk, jeez. They, or I, could not have stopped her (nor should we!!). A couple of months before she passed she came in the office and heard the manager talking to me and she'd said about her being at 'end of life', mum said 'Eh, don't be so bloody cheeky I'm not at the end of anything' π. If the staff told her to do something she'd say 'and who's going make me. You and who's army?' π€£π€£π.
I used to always send her flowers on my birthday, so just get them for myself now and light a candle for her. Very lucky to have very special and beautiful memories of her, she was one of a kind. Just been going through some photos today of her and dad. And my dogs. All family, all treasured when they were here and since.
I hope you have a lovely weekend.
1 -
A 'funny' ππ music story @WelshBlue.
Mum was ill in hospital in July 2021 with cancer and dementia, it was an awful time for her, my sister was with her and got me on the 'phone to speak to mum (mum couldn't speak πͺ) I sang 'Livin' Doll', one of her favourite songs, down the 'phone to her. The WHOLE song.
I didn't know my sister had put it on loudspeak until I'd finished my 'rendition' π and everyone was clapping. Cringeworthy stuff especially as it was during a doctor's round so the staff were all there too. Thank goodness it's a fairly short song, don't know how I showed my face their the next day, was singing my heart out just to mum, or so I thought. Mum cried, sister didn't tell me until the next day πβ£οΈ.
I've not been able to listen to that song since she passed but do like Cliff Richard, got all of mum's CDs. Thank goodness for music, and it's power, in all of lifes' situations π« .
1 -
@Santosha12 β¦ nah you didn't mislead me. I'm always having a row off my daughter for presuming π My wife is very strong. Always telling people she's the least broken in the family. She's very good with her diet, phosphate, potassium etc, but it's one of those how long is a piece of string things β¦ ironically one of her friends was a match for a live donor. Until she went for more tests and is now under the same Nephrologist due to having her own undiagnosed kidney problems. No wonder my psychologist told me to write an autobiography β¦
My wife is neurotic about flies and she's passed it onto Ruudy. He goes bonkers until she's got it. I'm just cowering at the noise. I can imagine the 'fun' you had with Jack β¦ funny the lil habits etc they pick up.
Ormskirk β¦ my wife still hasn't got over someone nicking her umbrella out of a shopping trolley in Morrisons there π€£It's where my son got his first degree
So you're a Manchester girl, only ever been there once, when my daughter had an interview at the Uni. But 2 of my top ten bands β¦ The Smiths and Joy Division. My neighbours love their stuff too β¦ always banging on the walls in time with the music π
I'm glad your happy with the care at the hospital. We always hear the horror stories, but never the successes. Last week someone was moaning loudly about 45 minutes waiting time. Does my head in β¦ my wife was tapping my leg, whispering β¦ Don't. Shut up π€
Your mum sounded like a real character. It's important to keep those memories alive IMO
I can't sing a note. I have great fun doing it, but when I sing, an angel loses it's wings.
At funerals I mime the hymns, incase I get struck down. Apart from one called Gwahoddiad
I belt that one out. I just love the power of it β¦ and in no way religious. Although part of me does envy those who are. To have that faith
Humour. I can find it in the most saddest, traumatic things. Most of which my family have been through. Sometimes maybe inappropriate, and my wife hates me joking about my rape β¦ but importantly I can laugh at myself and never mock anyone
All my doctors and MH teams know that once I lose my sense of humour β¦ that's it. I'm gone
Laughter and music have been my best medicines
Damn I don't half ramble on β¦
0 -
Hallway Ledger β¦ banishing those pesky inner demons and ghosts. Memories can't hurt you. A female voice because β¦ sometimes more emotion in the timbre ..
Quiet Habit β¦ sometimes we do things we're not proud of, but pride can come of overcoming and changing. Weakness can also incorporate strength ?
Love In November β¦ a soppy song, by my usually macabre depressing standards
2 -
Hey @WelshBlue
You know I had never heard of the concept of AI helping to make music until reading your post a few weeks ago π
Interestingly enough, a song soon after your post just "randomly" came up on on my Youtube algorithm, and the writer of the song speaks of AI, and felt led to share it with you.
Ive listened to it a good few times and find the song and powerful lyrics absolutely beautiful and hope you do to π
Sharing is caring π
2 -
Laughter and music.... yep, I'm with you all the way on that π @Welshblue.
Reading that brought a few laughs, nearly choked on my hot chocolate at the thought of your wife's brolly...some things can really needle us, a few of mine have lasted forever ha ha, (my brand new platform shoes the heel came off on their first outing, completely off) still fume about that, having to carry them around all evening π.
and some not so for what you've gone through..
Funny enough, eerily coincidental, my psychotherapist suggested recently I write an autobiography; think she was just saying it to get rid of me, can just hear her thoughts now "stop telling me πand just go and b****y write it down" and "don't just Journal but write a book and give my ears/mind a rest" π€£π.
Manchester bands...that was a funny one for me, many of my friends back in the 80s were into Morrisey, but it was more the boys than us gals. Very melancholic not that I mind that but I don't think I quite understood tbh. I loved the Bee Gees saw them at Wembley in the 90s and I liked 10cc. Never was into Oasis or Take That but saw a Netflix documentary on Take That recently and really took to them and like Robbie Williams.
I've known a few horror stories (as a nurse and not quite so much as a patient luckily but not good hence I sought 3rd opinion) but I've now got two consultants at Wythenshawe, likely a third one soon too, and two advanced practitioners, all for the same (GI) problems so they've really tried to pull out all the stops for me. No fix yet but they're not giving up on me so I'm not. I guess that really is the NHS at it's best.
I love many hymns but am not religious but am quite spiritual. You, rambling..... ha ha I don't know what mine could be called then ha ha I well go off topic, off on a tangent but it's all good. I think. I'm off to listen to your new post/music now. Btw, Bill Bailey is very good/funny, there were some repeats on recently, not sure if it was 'Live at the Apollo' or not, lovely story he told about an owl, very beautiful, compassionate, humane, story, one of the best I've heard.
1
Categories
- All Categories
- 16.2K Start here and say hello!
- 7.6K Coffee lounge
- 116 Games den
- 1.8K People power
- 169 Announcements and information
- 25.4K Talk about life
- 6.1K Everyday life
- 398 Current affairs
- 2.5K Families and carers
- 884 Education and skills
- 2K Work
- 597 Money and bills
- 3.8K Housing and independent living
- 1.2K Transport and travel
- 665 Relationships
- 1.6K Mental health and wellbeing
- 2.6K Talk about your impairment
- 882 Rare, invisible, & undiagnosed conditions
- 943 Neurological impairments and pain
- 2.3K Cerebral Palsy Network
- 1.3K Autism and neurodiversity
- 41.2K Talk about your benefits
- 6.2K Employment & Support Allowance (ESA)
- 20.4K PIP, DLA, ADP & AA
- 9.3K Universal Credit (UC)
- 5.4K Benefits and income