1st in 5 years - hairdresser tomorrow
Comments
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I haven't been to have my hair cut since I was about 15 - I'm now 32
I spent my darkest "survival mode" years cutting it with a pocket knife and now I'm in a better place literally & psychologically I haven't been back but I'm thinking about it
It's still something that would cause me some anxiety though. It's kind of mixing a few different anxieties together. Social anxiety of course; OCD/touching and stuff; and also body dysmorphia
I've been told about a good barber/hairdresser place which a few people I know use and it's friendly toward people with anxiety and things so I'm thinking about going there
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Beautiful set of rings @StarryEyed β¦ I'm especially drawn to the turquoise (enamel ?) ring
It's got a real understated beauty
My barber is a right idiot β¦ ohh hang on, I cut my own hair. I say cut. Shave
Still an idiot π
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Get a head shaver, I have used one for many years. I buy a new cutting head every 6-9 months, and couldn't tell you which decade i was last in a barber's shop.
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Hi @66Mustang. π I'm sorry you too have hairdresser issues. It sucks. But now I'm so pleased to have gone because the quality of cut is something I could never have done myself. So the pain was worth it in the end. Maybe you could lure yourself with a special cut? That's interesting that this barber is friendly about anxiety. Do you know what is done to decrease anxiety?
@WelshBlue and @ColonelBlink I too have one of those electric shavers. They're such fun! Come mid to late June, I'll be shaving the back of my head as it's the only way to survive the summer. My brother has done that since his 20s, but he does his whole head. Not a good look on me. π
Yes, @WelshBlue it's a turquoise ring. The pics are kind of blurry. I'll take a better pic of that ring. It's one of my faves too.
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Sigourney Weaver look ok without hair in 'Alien 3'. π
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I actually think a lot of women look very attractive with a buzz cut style
I've just bought a skull shaver from TEMU β¦ Β£14 and it's fantastic. Down to the skin
@StarryEyed β¦ I showed my wife your collection of rings, she loves every one of them
I can't even wear my wedding ring β¦ just looks stupid next to missing digits π
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I don't think they advertise as "anxiety informed" or anything, but two people at a group I go to use them & they have some similar issues to me
It might be my age showing as well. In the 90s and 00s the barber was almost like a production line, very industrial and you weren't made to feel good about your appearance. They weren't super unkind, but someone with preexisting anxiety around their body/appearance I think would find it became more manifest in that kind of environment
This place I mentioned is a unisex place as well. I get the impression that a lot of men maybe just go begrudgingly to get a job done; whereas women are more interested & engaged, and like to feel good about the experience. As a result of this, hairdressers seem to tend to be a bit more empathetic than barbers so the unisex element might be of benefit to me
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Your first mistake was spending Β£14 on Temu (says he who recently bought a ton of cosplay stuff on there)
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I'm loving all the pretty pastel colour shades in for the summer season.
I bought some pink shorts and a pink and white sleeveless blouse to match.
I'm going to buy some pink trousers and a lemon pair which I will need to get taken up because even petite length is too long for me.
I'm hoping we actually get some decent sunny warm weather this year.
Our summers tend to be rainy and wind with only a couple of weeks hot sunshine if we are lucky.
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So sorry @StarryEyed in my delay replying to you. You've really gone through it and I hope you have come out of it as relatively unscathed as is possible. It's a hard journey and can be quite a shocking road to go down, including the treatments.
My mum sadly passed away on 5th December 2022, two days before her 83rd birthday. My two sisters and I were with her and it was very peaceful. TRIGGER WARNING RE CANCER (not graphic):
In July 2010, mum had colorectal cancer (only found due to an A & E visit for constipation) and had two surgeries followed by chemotherapy; it was Capecitabine, taken orally, but caused hand and foot syndrome so there were interruptions to it and she finished it in c June 2011. She then had five very good years, going on (UK) coach holidays with her best friend, every year, from Scotland down to Sussex and lived her best life with good health and her dog.
In 2016 she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's Disease and then vascular dementia and lived in a nursing/care home from Aug 2019.
In November 2019, she was sat, right side on to me in her wheelchair at a hospital appt when I noticed a small lump in her neck. She had an aggressive, quite rare salivary gland cancer of the submandibular gland, a squamous cell carcinoma. She had surgery in February 2020. I was staying overnight with her in the hospital and the anaesthetist came to say they've got to cancel due to training for Covid and they'd be no ventilator for her, post surgery. Nope, not happening, I argued her corner with him, the surgeon then the consultant anaesthetist using several answers I could come up with (basically, take her to another hospital then afterwards/or get a ventilator here etc etc). I was not risking a delay due to the nature of how it would affect her (physically/breathing etc). I was going nowhere. They operated that day.
She then had radiotherapy every day in April into the May and came to live with me as the Home were not able to look after her (she was on mouthwashes to be given 28 times a day, they did none) I took her to The Christie hospital for her treatment. She recovered well.
In early August 2022 her GP rang me and said she only had c two weeks left to live and had Myeloid Dysplastic Syndrome. It became Acute Myeloid Leukaemia and she lived for four months. She didn't know that she had that as her dementia was too advanced and it was the only time I'd not been open with her but she was too frail to have any treatment (bone marrow) and we wouldn't have put her through that suffering.
Funny enough, I was just looking at photos in my 'phone of her and on 10th October 2022 she looked ok, by the 20th November, the lump had reappeared in her face/neck but I think it was known to be a higher risk of reoccurrence (submandibular gland cancer). But she passed because of the leukaemia. She was up and about on the Sunday, the day before she passed away. No pain relief, never ever moaned once, and had her humour, indomitable and feisty spirit right up to her last day. She always used to say to me 'J, you've just got to get on with it'. And she did! I was so proud of her and who she was, very lucky I think, every day I think of her.
Sorry for [my usual π] 'War and Peace'; had to ponder on whether mum would want it broadcast as such but 1. She's anonymous here and 2. Would she think it might remind people to get even simple things checked and yes, she would think so.
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@WelshBlue Oh definitely some women can look beautiful even bald as an egg. There's just no stopping some kinds of beautiful. π Here's a closeup of the turquoise ring. (You can click on the images to make them fit your screen.)
Ummmm what happened to your fingers?!
@SheffieldMan1976, my martial arts instructor is coming over in an hour for the second class. I'm very excited, and feeling grateful for your encouragement. Didn't you have a competition coming up soon?
@66Mustang I see what you mean now. Are you thinking of telling them about your issues? I was thinking about telling them but in the end chickened out. So I just white-knuckled it. Let me know if you go and if you find anything that helps, please?
@luvpink Oh your buys sound perfect! It's crazy hot here in the summer, so I have the opposite problem as you. It was such fun in the second-hand stores on Friday. I bought two summer scarves, a t-shirt, a long top cover, and four blouses for Β£22. For real! They're all quite nice, but one of the blouses and the two summer scarves are quite special. Here they are..
@Santosha12, yes, thank you, I'm okay at this point. Your story about your mom is indeed a compelling story for paying attention to early symptoms. I'm sorry she passed. For today's day and age, 83 is relatively young for a woman. Unbelievable how many cancers she had. Wow. And Alzheimer's to boot? And vascular dementia? She must have been quite the fighter to have pushed through and endured all of those illnesses. So really her last 12 years were full of suffering for both of you. Thank you so much for sharing your story about your mom. The more stories that are out there, the more we learn, and the more we grow together. β€οΈ
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@StarryEyed β¦ that ring is truly beautiful. I love the way the silver clasp holds the stone. Understated. But still very eye catching. Almost Egyptian Queen to my thinking
My fingers ? β¦ on my left or right π
Left Index and thumb and part of another, a freak one in a million chainsaw accident. The 2 on the right β¦ a million % carelessness and stupity with a circular saw. So rings look rather silly β¦ plus I'm beginning to understand why my wife calls me a liability β¦
You've posted some really pretty stuff. People look at me strangely when I say I'm jealous of women and all the pretty clothes and shoes they've got a choice of. I stand by it
Good luck and I hope the pesky C stays away
@Santosha12 β¦ it's awful what some people have to suffer, alongside their families who suffer too. Thanks for sharing such personal and very sad words. And yep it's important to check things out early. Your mum sounds like all of that generation. Ridiculously strong
Due to my 'trauma' I have to have an annual camera and a biopsy due to tearing causing precancerous cells. I used to really resent it, then my mindset shifted to β¦. they've robbed me of my past, they're not robbing me of my future. Plus it helps the surgeon is totally bonkers (he calls me a sheep botherer (<not quite the word) and I call him a camel worrier β¦ nurses just stand on looking bemused β¦)
I think we get to a certain age and 'dignity' dies. Mine died the day I had to have a bladder pressure test strapped to a moving table, catheters everywhere β¦ and 12 medical students watching
Laid bare never had so much meaning π€£
@SheffieldMan1976 Not the place here but TEMU and AliExpress, I've had some fantastic value tools etc
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Your second hand buys are georgous.
I love the floaty top.
I actually donate loads of clothes to local charity shops.
I rarely find any clothes in them for myself but I have bought some good kitchen ware and table cloths.
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Yeah, 7th of next month.
Looking forward to it.
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@SheffieldMan1976 good luck with your competition. What fun! I hope you kick some serious bum. π
@WelshBlue. Oh dear that's a whole lot of digits to lose!!! Wow. I bet the accident videos are on frequent replay in your head, right? How tragic. So my guess is you're unable to work. Yeah? ....Egyptian Queen ring? Lol! Since I was a kid, I've loved my Mom's taste, so feel so blessed to have all this jewellery. Plus I really didn't have much before so really 'needed' it. I have a whole ton of silver brooches too. ...Yes, I get what you mean about all the pretty things women get to pick from and feel so grateful for that!
@luvpink thank you! Oh yes to secondhand kitchen and dining stuff. And decorations. And jewellery. It's such a rush buying those too - just as much as with the clothes. Donating is awesome too, to contribute to the system. I kind of feel virtuous when donating. π
The past week, I've been working on my makeup for the wedding. The biggest challenge is I've got sensitivities to mascara, eyebrow pencil and eyeshadow. So I've had to do a lot of research and try different products. Finally I think I've got it figured out. Tomorrow I'll know. There are just a few days now to the wedding, this Saturday the 16th. So excited!
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Thank you very much @Welshblue and @Starryeyed for your lovely, exceptionally kind replies β€οΈ. It must sound odd to say but my mum didn't suffer as much as one would expect for all she had thrown at her.
She was truly the embodiment of stoic and lived very well, both through the traumas, just dealing with them as they came, and including right up to the end, nothing stopped her (even up to the day before!) - I think of it as she lived life joyfully and to the full, whilst dying. It's indescribable really.
We sang with her in her Home to Cliff Richard and Doris Day. Most days π₯°π . Watched TV quietly with her. Listened to her, engaging fully for every moment, savouring every moment. We danced in the aisle at the 'Everyman' Cinema to an Andre Rieu recording in Altrincham and at his live concert in Manchester; I remember I could feel her tinyiness (is that even a word π) and her frailty and held her carefully πͺ π. Every Sunday for her last 3 years we had breakfast at a local small hotel whose staff loved her and spolt her; followed by a bath and pampering at her Home. Every Thursday was lunch at an airport restaurant where she loved seeing the 'planes take off; and so many theatre visits. For her 75th birthday we did a hamper with 75 of her favourite things, that was hard to get to 75 π« ππ , (got desparate in the end and it included a bottle of Pale Ale ππ) the only time I've ever seen her cry.
I/we were not thinking as is common now that we had to 'make memories' as such, just more that we had to make up for lost time as she'd had few opportunities to really do the things she loved for too long before. Luckily, we never knew each trauma to come but each time, just helped get her through it (including my sisters for mum). She knew she was very much loved and treasured that's the most important thing, the time and all the moments spent together.
She was very pragmatic and had no time for what she'd perceive as 'wallowing' or giving any thought to what she couldn't control. Definitely 'of that generation' and remarkable really.
I was just looking at some Programnes yesterday of some of the Theatre visits. Some she wanted to see again (The Jersey Boys and Joseph and the Amazing Technicolour Dreamcoat) so that's what we did, immediately/the following week.
An unstoppable force of nature, with a quiet determination and gentle kindness in every single thing she did, no matter what she was going through. I hope she's up in spirit with dad, galvanising everyone into action ha ha, I feel she is. It's just pure and simple love. We were very, very lucky.
Thank you @StarryEyed and @Welshblue for letting me tell and hearing my story. 'Doe' was far too special to be 'unseen' xx
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@Starryeyed I love your rings and scarves, especially the blue/silvery one and I hope you have a wonderful time at the wedding on Saturday. And that you enjoy the pampering yourself in readiness. Take good care and enjoy it all.
@Welshblue Thank goodness for humour eh? My surgeon had quite the humour, at a camera procedure that took forever, well, slight exaggeration, one hour and 15 minutes. He had to keep briefly stopping because of me laughing (thank you Entonox!!) and when he said I was risking breaking his camera I was just in hysterics then the staff were laughing their heads off (wondering where that saying comes from π« ) which further delayed it. I'd also clung to that Entonox mask for dear life, refusing to let go of it and managed to chew it too which when they told me off I just dissolved into even more hysterics. I'd actually look forward to the next one if it were a similar experience. Weird or what? Ha ha.
How did we get from hairdressers to surgeons...... err, I go off on a tangent maybe a little bit π€£π.
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I bought a white linen blouse/shirt yesterday.
Its quite feminine.
It will match any of my outfits and it will be nice and cool material to wear if we get any hot weather here.
I'm sensitive to a lot of products, especially around my eyes so I buy sensitive skin ones.
I thought make up made me look like a clown lol. π€‘ but my sister convinced me it really doesn't.
I never used to wear it except for special occasions but I started wearing it regularly since December after having spent a month in hospital and my appearance was gaunt.
It took a while and a bit of practice and I go for as natural look as I can, and it does hide blemishes and under eye dark circles.
I bet you will look amazing at the wedding on Saturday.
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Hi @Santosha12 and thank you so much for your lovely stories about your Mom. I've read it a few times already, envisioning as best as I can of what you describe of your last years with your Mom with such pure love and admiration. So precious. It occurs to me that perhaps you model yourself after her example in your current health struggles. Is that so? ... Thank you for the compliments on my stuff. Gee shucks. ... Yes, I'm enjoying very much the pampering in preparation, and I'm taking this opportunity to revamp myself with a new look. It's a lot of fun. ... This tangential thinking in this thread is such a lovely adventure together of sharing our hearts and minds. β€οΈπ
@luvpink a white linen blouse is a perfect summer wardrobe piece. Maybe I'll get one next year. ...What products do you use for your eyes? I bought a henna-like dye for my eyebrows and love it! It's by L'OrΓ©al. For the mascara I bought a Clinique product. For the eyeshadow by avoiding shimmery ones, I'm good with my L'OrΓ©al palette. I too go for a natural look. It's one of the great things about aging, that makeup really makes a difference in our look. I haven't bothered much the last few years, as I said before because of being so focused on my health. So it's great fun to be getting into it.
Today's challenge is threefold: Pick which of my two walkers to use, pick my shoes and pick my cape (AKA scarf π). I'm leaning towards the sponge shoes I was telling you guys about. I've never worn them as I bought them end of season last year. Here they are. They're like a dusty rose, which I think will go well with the dark green dress. What do you guys think?
I was looking at YouTube to get tips on how to walk with my walker in a way that is sexy or pretty or feminine or anything other than practical (which is how I walk with it). The only thing I could find is this. π
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Hi I wear boots own products for eye make up.
I have ordered online a pair of pink trousers and a lemon pair so hopefully they will be suitable when they arrive.
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