Mental health issues
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Coping with stress, low mood and isolation – a support thread

Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

Scope community team

edited March 24 in Mental health issues

What is this thread about?

We realise these are particularly difficult times for all who visit Scope’s online community.  The impact of covid-19 has been far reaching, not least emotionally, as we all cope and ‘muddle through’ each day the best we can.   

As a means of support, the Community Team have compiled a list of resources on this thread to help with any feelings of isolation, stress, and low mood you might be experiencing.  These are not intended to substitute professional help and we recommend contacting your GP if troubling feelings persist.  Equally, should you ever believe your welfare is in danger, make sure to call 999 and ask for the relevant emergency services.

This list is not exhaustive and will be added to regularly so please do keep checking back.  Also, if our lovely members have any other helpful links or ideas, feel free to drop them in the comments section below.  

As ever, if you want to talk about your individual situation - we are here to listen.  Don't be afraid to make a post and ask for help.

General coronavirus support

Mental health

Apps

Exercise

Socialising/loneliness

Education/learning, work, and volunteering

Money

Parenting

Specific impairments

Emergency help


Stay safe everyone and remember we are here to support you though this  <3
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Replies

  • 66Mustang66Mustang Member Posts: 4,648 Disability Gamechanger
    Nice thread idea. I haven’t posted this before because I thought it would attract negative comments / opinions but I think this is hopefully the place where I can do it without judgement

    I am really struggling with not being able to go out for a drive and also struggling to understand why I’m not allowed to do so.

    I have obsessive thoughts which get really bad when I’m stuck in the house - I need to get out the house every day. Luckily we have a dog so I have an “excuse” to go for a walk each day but this often isn’t enough and going for a drive really helps my mental health.

    All I want to do is get in the car, go for a drive without getting out, and come home again.

    - No one will be in the car except people from my household
    - My car is on my drive so I don’t mix with anyone on the way to the car
    - I won’t get out of the car at any point so won’t mix with anyone

    I don’t see how doing this will spread Covid to lots of people but I am following the rules anyway!
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    @66Mustang Thank you for opening up and telling us how you are feeling.  There's absolutely no judgement and I completely 'get' how you feel.  I know from our interactions on the community and seeing your posts, how important motoring is to you, and it must feel like a loss that you are slowly adjusting to.

    It's great that you have your dog to take for walks and I'd recommend keeping that up.  As for the obsessive thoughts, does listening to a podcast or watching tv/films interrupt and distract you from these?  Does anything tend to block them out?  I know I personally enjoy running as a way of switching off, but am lucky in that i) I don't have any mobility impairments and ii) I actually enjoy it  :D - Could a new hobby or exercise routine work for you, I wonder, in the interim?  
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  • Wini1960Wini1960 Member Posts: 125 Pioneering
    [email protected] Hi i know exactly how you feel. I like to knit so ive turned iit nto a business. Maybe if you can find something that you are passionate about that could take the place of the motoring for the interim, might help. This is something that is beyond our control but everything is subject to change. We will get through this. I wish you the best going forward in 2021.🙂
  • woodbinewoodbine Member Posts: 3,735 Disability Gamechanger
    @66Mustang sorry to hear you feel as you do, fingers crossed that lockdown doesn't last too long and you can get back to doing what you enjoy most.
    my advice is given freely and is correct to the best of my knowledge.
  • 66Mustang66Mustang Member Posts: 4,648 Disability Gamechanger
    @Cher_Scope @Wini1960 @woodbine many thanks for the supportive posts, I really appreciate it and they mean a lot to me.

    Cher_scope - Thanks for the tips. I’ve found those things to help a little bit to drown out the thoughts. As for the exercise, I actually want to do some form of exercise that is more vigorous than walking and like you I’m lucky not to have any mobility impairments, but this is not something I am able to do right now due to my psychological issues. I am working towards it though with mental health professionals. I know we are getting back to driving again haha but I have aspirations in future to get a Land Rover and a mountain bike and take the bike to places for a bike ride :)

    Wini1960 - that’s great you have turned your hobby into a business. I hope you are doing well and wish you the best of luck with it going forward!

    Woodbine - many thanks for the kind words. Hopefully things will return to normal soon or even partly normal. I realise I could be in a worse position so I am grateful for that, was just having a bit of a moan haha!
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    @66Mustang It's good to hear you are working towards your goal with the help of mental health practitioners   :)   I hope things go okay.  How are you feeling today?  
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  • 66Mustang66Mustang Member Posts: 4,648 Disability Gamechanger
    @Cher_Scope I’m feeling not too bad today, thanks for asking :) I have a new support worker working with me and he seems to be really eager to help, not just to tick boxes if that makes sense, and he’s already suggested some really helpful stuff. 
  • janer1967janer1967 Member Posts: 9,145 Disability Gamechanger
    Thanks for sharing and putting all the info in one place .

    Coming in here helps keep me occupied lockdown isn’t too bad for me as I only go out for shopping anyway though we did used to go to cinema or out to eat .

    It’s also a bonus as my son is home though home schooling can be a challenge 

    @66Mustang sorry you are finding it hard not driving I know it’s no substitute but do you play any driving games on a console . Or could you volunteer in the community to maybe shop and deliver to others 
  • 66Mustang66Mustang Member Posts: 4,648 Disability Gamechanger
    edited January 10
    @janer1967

    I agree with you about the forum being a good time occupier and good to combat loneliness as well

    Thank you for the suggestion, I hadn’t thought of driving games actually! I don’t have a console but will have a look for some driving games on the iPad to see if they are any good :)

    We currently do help a few neighbours with their shopping but we tend to do it at the same time as our own shopping to keep the risks down if that makes sense 
  • chiariedschiarieds Member Posts: 7,958 Disability Gamechanger
    Another perhaps odd thought I had @66Mustang - would you like to try going for a 'slow' drive with Google maps? You might look at some of your favourite roads, or explore somewhere new, which you might visit later when able to go for a drive again.....something to look forward to, perhaps. :)
    Hi @Cher_Scope - some of the links above don't work; I don't know if you knew.
  • chiariedschiarieds Member Posts: 7,958 Disability Gamechanger
    Just to add that I also find this a great resource, &, as mentioned above, so helpful to have all the info in one place. However, personally I think it's a bit of a wasted opportunity to just have this in the 'Mental Health issues' group, as there are links to other disorders such as CP, & I feel it would benefit a lot of people who are feeling isolated at the moment who may not have mental health problems. What do others think? :)
    Btw @Cher_Scope @Ross_Scope or @Tori_Scope the 3 links mentioned above still don't work. Please would you help, thank you.
  • 66Mustang66Mustang Member Posts: 4,648 Disability Gamechanger
    chiarieds said:
    Another perhaps odd thought I had @66Mustang - would you like to try going for a 'slow' drive with Google maps? You might look at some of your favourite roads, or explore somewhere new, which you might visit later when able to go for a drive again.....something to look forward to, perhaps. :) 
    That’s a really fun idea actually, I might give it a go, thank you :)
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,010

    Scope community team

    edited January 11
    I'll have a look at the links now, thanks for making us aware @chiarieds

    Edit: those three links should now be working. Please give us a shout if you encounter a broken link again, all. I've also now announced the post in recent discussions too, so that more people will see it. 
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  • chiariedschiarieds Member Posts: 7,958 Disability Gamechanger
    I'd been looking on Google maps, & thought of you @66Mustang
    I used it when people asked us to go to their homes to view books they had for sale.....sometimes at the back of beyond, & I used to get sidetracked looking down the country lanes! :)
  • chiariedschiarieds Member Posts: 7,958 Disability Gamechanger
    Thank you @Tori_Scope - links working fine, & I hope more people will now see this thread as it's really good. :)
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,010

    Scope community team

    Thanks @chiarieds! I'd put the links into a word document so it's possible they didn't copy across properly for some reason. 

    Hopefully more people will see it :) Please also feel free to post your breathing exercise, and any of the other exercises you comment. I did have a quick look for it but ran out of time on Friday!
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  • chiariedschiarieds Member Posts: 7,958 Disability Gamechanger
    Will do, @Tori_Scope - but please only use if you think OK, & @leeCal has good resources too.  :)
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    @chiarieds Thanks for your pointers!  Making the post more visible will help us reach more people so I agree  <3
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  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @Tori_Scope the coronavirus link does that only cover England 🇬🇧 
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,010

    Scope community team

    Which one @lisathomas50
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  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @Tori_Scope the coronavirus one 
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,010

    Scope community team

    This one @lisathomas50Coronavirus website section?

    Sorry, I just want to clarify so that I can check this for you :) 
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  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @Tori_Scope yes that one thank you 
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,010

    Scope community team

    No problem @lisathomas50. Scope work across England and Wales, so I imagine that the information and advice on those pages would be applicable to those living in these areas, unless stated otherwise. 

    There's a lot of information on those pages, and a wide range of resources, so if you come across anything specific that you're unsure about then please do flag it up to us so we can check it for you :) Was there anything in particular that you were wondering about? 
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  • Danny3Danny3 Member Posts: 12 Connected
    66Mustang said:
    chiarieds said:
    Another perhaps odd thought I had @66Mustang - would you like to try going for a 'slow' drive with Google maps? You might look at some of your favourite roads, or explore somewhere new, which you might visit later when able to go for a drive again.....something to look forward to, perhaps. :) 
    That’s a really fun idea actually, I might give it a go, thank you :)
    Hi 66Mustang and chiarieds!  Whenever I feel trapped, I look up my favourite places on google earth. Some bloggers do tours of famous cities and places of interest, or go for long drives through open countryside with their car go pros. They can be really interesting.  Especially if you know the areas they are driving through. Seeing places through the eyes and experiences of others is also useful in helping me to render down some places on my bucket list. Seeing some tourist spots and monuments on google earth from street level, has quite put me off wanting to bother going anymore :-)    
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @Tori_Scope how to get help when you live on your own and you got corona virus and need food or anything 
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    Hi @lisathomas50

    This Government Coronavirus: Accessing food and essential supplies webpage has links to who to contact and what support is available.  Importantly, it says:
    You may... be eligible for support from the NHS Volunteer Responders programme. You can call 0808 196 3646 and ask for help to pick up food, prescriptions and essential items.

    You can also contact your local authority to find out what support services are available in your area.
    Does that help?
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  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @Cher_Scope I have contacted my local council the other links only apply to England I did phone but they both said becsuse I live in Wales its different here 

    I live rural so its quite difficult our local good bank has closed down due to corona virus sickness and now struggling to get volunteers and the other two are over whelmed because there are to many people needing help 

    I have a bit of food so I will spread it out I get paid on the 2nd of February so hopefuly be better by then 

    Thank you for the links though 
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    @lisathomas50 What am I like forgetting you live in Wales?  I'm so sorry.  Here is the equivalent government advice for people in Wales.  

    How are you getting on?  I hope you are keeping safe  <3
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  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @Cher_Scope thank you  I am still testing positive I have four days left so I will get tested again in four days and go from there 

    The nurse who comes here brings my things she has brought me some fish to have now so I will try 

    Thanks for the advice 
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    @lisathomas50 Take care of yourself lovely, not long to go now  :)
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  • encaserencaser Member Posts: 277 Courageous
    edited January 20
    Personally speaking, I think a lot of people are living in the now too much and not seeing the far more likely lighter times  ahead.
    @66Mustang you clearly have some ongoing and debilitating complaints (I won't say issues, oops!) to deal with on a daily basis and yet you are still compassionate towards others and so I see more than a little light there. I too love driving but realise that if I just went for drives with no intention of getting out, what if I had a breakdown or accident and if most people started to do this, it would raise the risk far higher.
    I would imagine your support worker is trying to guide you towards stepping outside of yourself, as much as actually going anywhere. Going outside can be liberating, of course, but ultimately a person needs to be able to live with themselves where ever they are; as the old saying goes, you always have to come home to yourself. Perhaps try to invest more in what you can do and see yourself more holistically, which includes a sensitive, caring person with a sense of achieving fun in what he can do. Alternatives are useful substitutes to still gain distraction and hopefully pleasure but don't have to be absolutes when change is quite possibly on the horizon if you let it be.
    I hope that doesn't sound too preachy or cheesy..umm, cheese!
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @encaser I supose in a way its hard to focus on the future the way things are with the lockdowns wsles has been rolled over for another three weeks and new rules come in all the time 
  • encaserencaser Member Posts: 277 Courageous
    edited January 20
    @lisathomas50 I agree that the continual changing of rules can be confusing and irritating. I think that had our various nations stuck to a lockdown to ride this out, it would've been far better and people would've known where they are. It's somewhat cruel in a way, to keep dangling the carrot and suddenly bring out the whip again.
    These are isolating and difficult times to adapt to, what with governments that have mislead and reacted rather than acted in our best interests.
    I have stuck to the highest level of rules, as I only see this as the best way to get out of this pandemic. If everyone remained considerate of not only themselves but others it would help massively. This should ultimately be a relatively short-term event. It is also a time where home comforts, access to the net and so wider access in the sense of contact, libraries, music, films, games and TV whether factual or fiction are all available. Many can still go out for exercise and get the foods and daily needs sorted out, or have others they know, charity workers or those in paid help there. There are of course, though, people struggling desperately just to subsist, which must be simply awful on top of all this.
    There is, however, real hope in vaccines coming and so the above is what I try to focus on. As I said, If people live in the now and focus on what they can't do, it will of course make times more difficult for them. I'm certainly not saying I always see things in rose coloured glasses, as I spend the vast majority of my time in a bedbound world due to disability and ongoing medical issues.
    All a person can do is their best, to try and not disable themselves in mind and body and where possible enjoy what they can. And when they can't, have a vent and grumble on here or with other friends and rellies! Venting is definitely something I believe in, as it may not change things but it also allows you to release some of that bubbling mess inside  ;)
    And, Hello, to you Lisa, I should've started with that!
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @encaser hi I totally agree with what you say hopefuly things will change for the better soon  and hope you are ok and keeping fairly well 
  • encaserencaser Member Posts: 277 Courageous
    @lisathomas50 thanks Lisa, I'm muddling through.
    Good to see you're making the most of this forum and making an effort to get on as best you can. Stay safe.
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @encaser thank you so much for your kind words means alot and you stay safe 
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Member Posts: 411 Pioneering
    I,m so sorry your feeling so low 66Mustang.....and everybody else who is feeling low just now. I can understand how you feel . I have some days where I can cope better than others . I know there are many in a worse position than me ...I have my wife to keep me going . She is correct when she says that there are people far worse off than us....many people are on their own and have no family around . I know I should ( and I do ) feel grateful for having family around , who are happy to get us anything we need and leave it at the door. Alas ...the fact I am luckier than some others does not help at times . 
    I certainly think letting people go out for a drive , I,m sure that would help many people ....especially when there is one law for some and a different law for others . we cannot step out the door but highly paid footballers can get buses up and down the country ( and in some cases , fly to other countries ) totally out of order I believe , if a law is good enough for us , it's good enough for others .
    I have a playstation 4 (which my son gave me when he got his new playstation ) i can,t really get into gaming , even though the graphics are amazing . He gave me a few games with it as well....but i just cannot get into gaming at all .
    I am learning five string bluegrass banjo , so I try to spend some time on it a few times a day . ....that helps me cope. 
    Please take care out there guys ....and may your God go with you 🙏
  • leeCalleeCal Member Posts: 3,361 Disability Gamechanger
    Sorry @chiarieds I posted this elsewhere in error, 

    meditation is a great way to relax,
    https://www.lionsroar.com/category/how-to/
  • chiariedschiarieds Member Posts: 7,958 Disability Gamechanger
    Hi @Cher_Scope please would you add leeCal's link on meditation to your resources above. Tori said she would like it, but I missed her today, thank you. And thank you @leeCal :)
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    @chiarieds Certainly, I've just added it to our exercise section.  Thank you @leeCal :)
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  • m_burrell82m_burrell82 Member Posts: 102 Pioneering
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    Today has not been a good day personally  I dont nornaly watch the news  but it broke my heart to see how many people have died and how many of them were children

    This week alone 4 people in my village have passed away 

    70 thousand people are now unemployed  in wales 

    25 thousand cases of abuse reported across Wales 

    Yesterday I had to attend hospital because I was dehydrated  I am struggling to eat and in constant pain 

    The only thing thst is keeping me going at the moment is this forum even though it does brings its own stresses 

    This is my low day I will be ok I always feel better when I tell someone else someone may read my comment but just writing it down  made me feel better 

    Everyone's life is upside down 
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,010

    Scope community team

    Writing things down often helps me feel better too @lisathomas50. It can be really difficult to process these numbers every day, and I think it's getting a lot of people down. 

    I'm also sorry to hear that you're not feeling well. I hope that you feel a bit better now? Have they been able to do anything about the pain? 
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  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @Tori_Scope my pain i can manage  and hearing of friends and their children that may have it is awful 

    My neighbor has got it again more than twice the dr has said I can get it again because my white blood cells are very bad and said I can catch anything and everything  they are getting in touch with a specialist 

    Its knocked me off my feet its the after affects of haveing the virus more than twice 

    The dr said different variants and mutations people can be re infected  a number of times 

    The reason I cant have the vacine is because the vacine is meant to build up antibodies  but the chances  of it working  on me are not good and my body may fight against which would in affect make it to much of a risk 

    So just learning to cope with what has been said 
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,010

    Scope community team

    Yes, all you can really do is do your best to keep yourself and others safe by staying inside wherever possible, and following the guidelines on hand washing and so on @lisathomas50. It's important to take a break from the news too, as it can be really easy to let yourself consume worrying news all day without taking any time to stop and do or think about something else. 
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  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @Tori_Scope I have only just realised I have gone over two thousand  comments on the community  already shows how much I talk 
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,010

    Scope community team

    Nice one @lisathomas50 :) 
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  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @Tori_Scope thank you  I am not a perfect person and I do get things wrong or I mis interpret something but all I want to do is try and help people its whst i have done all my life 

    I must say being on here has knocked my confidence a little 
  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,010

    Scope community team

    I'm sorry to hear that your confidence has been knocked @lisathomas50. I'd like to reassure you that we don't want this to be the case, and that everyone makes mistakes :) The important thing is to learn from those mistakes, and continue moving forward. It's clear that you enjoy helping people, and that's something we really appreciate.
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  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @Tori_Scope thank you for your kind words 
  • foxukfoxuk Member Posts: 107 Pioneering
    We have been in lockdown since January last year. Except for people visiting things didn't change much from a few years previously
    The only real way to deal with the problems is to accept the reality of the situation.
    For those of us who have become disabled this is the same as re-visiting the onset of disability.
    All the stages of transition occur from denial through bargaining to eventually acceptance.
    When we accept the situation and work within it's boundaries thinking of alternatives the 'black dog' doesn't appear so often.
    It is not easy but the little things become more real. Enjoying access to the internet with entertainment from dawn to dusk. I am sure those of us that remember the only TV in the daytime was horse racing or schools find this amazing.
    Can I just add one thing that many have forgotten. Making things better for others. My wife and self bought a box of chocolates for the receptionists and staff at our doctors surgery (sent by Amazon) and were shoucked at how surprised and grateful they were, it was more than a bit embarrasing. BUT it let us realise we were not helpless disabled people and that we could make a difference.
    Life isn't easy and things often get worse before they get better, but there is light at the end of the tunnel and things are starting to improve.
    I am not trying to minimise the problems we face things often look dark but however isolated we are we can make a difference.
    Perhaps I am saying this as much to myself as anyone else. My GP has just let me know that I must not have the vaccine under any circumstances (previous reactions) and am looking at a permanent lockdown situation.
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @foxuk I cant have the vacine either 
  • foxukfoxuk Member Posts: 107 Pioneering
    @foxuk I cant have the vacine either 
    The thing that gets me about it is doctors avoiding answering questions because they just don't know - do they think we can't work out that this is going to be difficult? BUT there is so much we have now that only a few decades ago didn't even exist we are still very lucky compared with previous generations.

    I remember my grandparents watching horse racing on the telly in the afternoon. Neither had ever considered betting and it was just something to fill the hours.
  • lisathomas50lisathomas50 Member Posts: 3,833 Disability Gamechanger
    @foxuk its  the way things are now upside lol  feels like its never going to end lol 😆 
  • SeanchaiSeanchai Member Posts: 411 Pioneering
    edited January 30
    yep guys ....."Groundhog day" ...I cannot even remember what day it is tomorrow , Somehow it feels like a Wednesday but I will have to check on my Samsung and find out for sure....no use asking my wife as she is as mixed up as me 🙄
    I am so sorry to read that some peop,e cannot get the vaccine ( I have been given a date for mine ...7th february) I know the vaccine does not mean to much at the moment but the second vaccine should make some kind of a difference ...but we have been told not to drop our guard. My wife and I have been in lockdown since February...my doc says that I cannot put myself in any position where I would be putting myself in danger by getting the virus , I know myself I would not survive the virus . My family have been so loving and do everything for us .. how would we have managed to live if not for my family dropping off our food at the door of our house. we try to order .a months supply off Asda and a months supply of Iceland .and anything we need in between times .my sons and daughter and granddaughter get for us whatever we need . Asda have a cheek asking us to pay for carrier bags( which we did) ...but mondays delivery came without carrier bags...I wrote to Asda,  that's strike two ...they never answered so we will use another store. Asda goes from £8 to £3.50 for delivery . I will look about and see if we can find s decent store who do not mind delivering ....Iceland seem to be the only ones that deliver . Ah well ....onwards we go . We need a laugh at times and the first time I chose mushrooms , they had no mushrooms left so they sent me grapes 🤔😮😟....i thought it was a wind up . but no....I know a young lady who ordered a pregnancy kit , ...they had no pregnancy 
    test kits , so they sent her a box of durex instead ..
    I have had a few laughs in the last year  ,,,and I also thank Nicola Sturgeon for all the hard work she has done for over a year , each week day she gives statistics, figures and the number having caught their virus and the people in ICU.  
    She must be at her wits ends ....many around her are falling by the way side , she is going to have a well deserved holiday if / when we get through this  ...at times she looks close to collapse,  does she ever get to bed ....then we see Boris travelling to scotsland to have a chat .....A stupid waste of time . .You do as you are told and you do as I tell you and I do what i decided to do ....WRONG .Out of order , if he wants to helps Tories in may , he should keep the fishermen
    happy ..happy fleet ...Loads of fresh lovely food xxx
    May your God go with you all 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁳󠁣󠁴󠁿
  • foxukfoxuk Member Posts: 107 Pioneering
    Seanchai said:
     I will look about and see if we can find s decent store who do not mind delivering ....Iceland seem to be the only ones that deliver . Ah well ....onwards we go . 

    We've been ordering online for over a decade and have a pretty good idea of how things work.

    All the supermarkets will dump short date goods on you if they can get away with it.

    Asda processed their card payments in South Africa when one of their employees extracted £6500 from two of our cards. We were very lucky and got the money refunded but the stress for those few weeks was terrible. Asda have never responded to an email or telephone call.

    Tesco delivered £50 of meat at full price instead of half price. They initially refused to collect even though we were housebound and when they eventually did stopped answering emails and ignored our requests for a refund.

    Ocado have really good quality and service, at a price, they used to price match but that has now stopped and don't expect them to deliver 'small' orders before Christmass - their minimum order value doubles and their attitude is pay up or shut up.

    Iceland are pretty good on price and service unless, like us, you want ingredients instead of ready made food - they are expensive on basic veg and their meat is pretty tough. 

    Waitrose - Well if you can afford Waitrose you don't need to ask the price of anything - enough said?

    Morrisons - They were pretty good before the pandemic but one order of over £70 turned up with less than £20 worth of goods and a lot of those were substitutions. They also do 'same day' deliveries through Amazon (suposedly free with Prime) but the prices are NOT the same as from Morrisons own website.

    Sainsbury's have been the best of a pretty bad bunch. They have a reasonable delivery pass which makes orders over £40 free - that's what they say but paying for the pass is a payment. They have started two hour deliveries at £1 and they were the only supermarket that kept supplying through the first lockdown. Cheaper on most fressh produce than most of the others and plenty of special offers.

    Wai Yee Hong - They deliver by courier and ithere's no fresh food unless you live in Bristol. BUT if you want ingredients for Chinese or Indian food they are the people to deal with - the prices for what the other supermarkets regard as 'exotic' are cheap. (For coeliacs - their mung bean noodles are an alternative to spagetti or noodles - not the same not as good and higher calorie but they fill that pasta hole on the diet sheet).

    Aldi are doing 'click and collect' at some of their stores. It's pretty inflexible and I remember thinking that the charge was way too high when I  looked into it for a friend.

    With all the companies a lot depends on the delivery drivers and the twerps who do the picking. The only comapny that has taken complaints seriously for us has been Sainsbury's who often issue refunds for reasonable complaints. Things do vary from area to area.

    I hope that helps anyone who is considering buying online. 
  • thatsmynamethatsmyname Member Posts: 52 Connected
    chiarieds said:
    Another perhaps odd thought I had @66Mustang - would you like to try going for a 'slow' drive with Google maps? You might look at some of your favourite roads, or explore somewhere new, which you might visit later when able to go for a drive again.....something to look forward to, perhaps. :)
    Hi @Cher_Scope - some of the links above don't work; I don't know if you knew.
    I actually did this a few weeks ago! I went to all the places i used to love walking to before my agoraphobia got so bad.and sometimes u see people you know on there its great.we spent around 6 hours doing it.
  • 11190821119082 Posts: 258 Member
    That must be very fun to do 
  • m_burrell82m_burrell82 Member Posts: 102 Pioneering
    @thatsmyname  maybe that's something the Staff at the Scope Stores could be doing in view to offer Coach Tours or Holidays at some point. Other than that I don't drive so it would have to be on Public Transport.

    As for Books, which I also don't do, I did notice WHSmiths was open in Croydon the other day, which is something I had wondered about.
  • 11190821119082 Posts: 258 Member
  • thatsmynamethatsmyname Member Posts: 52 Connected
    m_burrell82 sorry i think you may have misunderstood what i meant there...i was referring to google drive or maps where you can go places remotely not physically.i know its not the same as actually going to these places but if you suffer from agoraphobia its a good way to view places you love from the comfort of your home! Give it a try...i visited places ive lived and used to enjoy going to etc...
  • 11190821119082 Posts: 258 Member
  • m_burrell82m_burrell82 Member Posts: 102 Pioneering
    @thatsmyname  Sure- that's what you can do during this crisis and other times. After this crisis though, which I hope wont be long, some of us can all use that to get out there, live our lives once more. Some of the things I will value. Go somewhere, eat at a Bar or Restaurant, Maybe go away somewhere and stay at a Hotel or somewhere. I appreciate that you might have problems with that, but some of us so need for this nightmare to be over so we can get back out there again. My Mental Health issues need someone to help me with this physical loneliness.  
  • m_burrell82m_burrell82 Member Posts: 102 Pioneering
    Actually  what's coming up can bring sadness to those who have had bad luck with relationships - and actually could have badly done with some luck- Valentines Day - but it's something I celebrate as any festival. At one time I acquired a LGBT History Month flag (even though I am not gay myself), so that gives me an excuse to keep Valentines Day stuff out the whole month. A message I've just sent out semi-anonymously on meetup.com to a Board Game meetup, not running at these times. On that site I have my account and two fake accounts, but please don't tell anyone. I'm sure they would know by now it is really me though from this fake account. I'm hoping a lady would also know that I'm referring to her. So I'm doing that plus the usual stuff I do on different web-sites to at last connect with someone.
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    @m_burrell82 I know Valentines can be a tricky time of the year for many people but expanding the celebration to love shared between friends and family makes it a time for us all :) Great idea about the LGBT flag too.  

    When you say that you have two fake accounts on the meetup.com website, is this for any reason?  There's no judgement here but you are a lovely person as your authentic self, so if this is something you're struggling with maybe think about keeping just the one genuine account?  
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  • m_burrell82m_burrell82 Member Posts: 102 Pioneering
    @Cher_Scope  Just helps me to connect with all that I'm interested in. For example, the world of Live Drawings, which connects with stuff I have gone to. I'm not going to go to a Live Drawing session though, because I can't draw very well. 
  • bonnielassiebonnielassie Member Posts: 26 Courageous
    Hi everybody- I'm really struggling at the moment. I've found lockdown bad remove but then the totally unexpected happened and I caught covid. I was very lucky I know - I've lived to tell the tale which is a great deal better than too many people. When I had covid I had to isolate from the rest of the household. This meant my living in one room with an ensuite shower. My husband put trays of food outside my room which I collected, wearing a mask. When I finished my meal I sanitised the tray and put it outside the door to be collected by my husband. All this seemed fine at first but I realised I was getting more and more depressed and anxious. I was worried the symptoms would worsen and I could die. I felt like a kidnapped person the way I was living in one room. I've found it so hard to shake off. I was in there for almost a fortnight. My disability of spinal stenosis and two strokes meant that I stiffened up as I lay in bed and became more painful. Then we were having some work done on the house but the men refused to come in unless I was moved further away so I had to move to an attic room. I can't tell you how bad this felt. Anyway I was feeling bad enough before so this happened as I have had osteoporosis diagnosed on top of my other disabilities and feel that if another negative thing happens to me I'll lose it. My husband has been trying to find me a rescue dog to keep me company and for me to love, but it seems impossible at the moment as a lot of the Kennels have closed down even if only temporarily.
    Thanks for listening
  • thatsmynamethatsmyname Member Posts: 52 Connected
    bonnielassie the negative things that are thrown at us in life are sent to test you...you probably felt at the time that you couldnt take any more but then you did and you survived it! Guess what? You will probably survive a lot more things before you finally get some much deserved peace! All you can do is focus on those positives you mentioned, like finding a furry friend! Even though things are slow moving at the moment you can still set the ball rolling...why dont you start online shopping for all the items your new friend will need when he or she finally arrives like dog bed bowls toys etc....because at the end of the day you will need these things so it will give you something positive to focus on until it can happen...not long now and things will brighten up.keep your chin up because you are clearly a strong lady you probably just dont know it yet!  
  • diane01diane01 Member Posts: 45 Connected
    So i really Missing the old me & feeling u've lost connections that u once had with people i.e friends due to a health condition so many people will say they understand what ur going thru but do they?..i've had the chin up ur stronger than u look but deep down u kno ur like a lost child inside nice to hear kind words no doubt it is but once ur lost in place that ur mind takes u daily nice words r just words i've neva been nasty or negative person been the happy go lucky type all my life but then u start to wonder if for a 2nd life will eva look normal again!..not just covid & lockdown is here but because u lose faith, hope that normal can ever regain itself when u have a health condition! 
  • thatsmynamethatsmyname Member Posts: 52 Connected
    diane01 having a health condition doesnt mean your life is no longer normal....just different.you probably are coping but dont feel as though you are which is the same for a lot of us.i do understand what you mean i feel the same daily! But bottom line is tomorrow is another day and so forth.just keep pushing you will make it,and dont stop been positive and go lucky because without people like you the world would be a horrible miserable place! You must be a lovely lady because if you werent you wouldnt be so affected by losing your sunny disposition.you wouldnt care at all
  • diane01diane01 Member Posts: 45 Connected
    I'm struggling that much that i feel like the above comments nothing i can do to make anything better i've lost interest in anything h8t being like this feeling no good to any1 😭😭😭
  • thatsmynamethatsmyname Member Posts: 52 Connected
    diane01 we are not here to be any good to anyone really...its just nice to be able to be...when you are able! You need to look after you at the moment and people will understand that if they love and care for you.i used to always think i could solve other peoples problems or help them with this that and the other...but i made myself that poorly doing it that ive had to just stop and try focus on helping me,because no one else will! 9x out of ten i dont get treat how i treat others so i just dont bother now unless its important obviously..i came off social media years ago and that was definitely a big mental health trigger for me.do you not have any hobbies you can do at home? Trying to focus on something you enjoy does help you feel less helpless. Or is there anything you have always wanted to try doing at home?
  • diane01diane01 Member Posts: 45 Connected
    Used to do weights & exercise bike & play on wii sports with my kids but so unable to do that because having trouble standing & my brain shuts down leaving me feeling blank easy said than done cant go shopping as one little incident & my nervous system goes mental then my full body shakes trying to do things is a issues really pushed myself loads to try & do a simple thing but just end up unable to carry that task out

  • thatsmynamethatsmyname Member Posts: 52 Connected
    diane01 i do understand that completely...i have agoraphobia and anxiety depression and panic attacks and i know how horrible it feels,but one thing that does keep me going i guess is knowing that me and you did not ask for this and we do try! And cant say dont,but you shouldnt feel bad.the circumstances around us make us feel that way unfortunately but you cant let them feelings beat you down.things do always get better in the end.and i know it doesnt seem that way but it does.
  • diane01diane01 Member Posts: 45 Connected
    Ano trying so hard & to stay positive is not one of my strongest point like u the anxiety cracks in & i end up flooding in tears feel like my happy hormone level has been effected somehow by this condition i find it hard taking any kind of meds which dont help my circumstances so i have to suffer with the anxiety by it all daily finding ways to cope regardless is impossible when i'm not handling the out come of this fnd combating something that just taking over the full body & scary how i describe it i feel like I've got flu every day & these symptoms that dont give up for even five mins definitely like a lost scared little girl inside now!..can you tell me ur story did u just get this condition out of the blue ?
  • thatsmynamethatsmyname Member Posts: 52 Connected
    diane01 i feel ive always had my anxiety forever...even as a child.i still cry everyday and cant pinpoint one reason why..ive just never been happy with the world around me mainly other people.ive got so many phobias that im always on high alert if i have to go out and it makes life extremely tiring! Every shopping trip results in a bad panic attack or complete meltdown and these are caused by little things like an old lady cutting in the queue or people standing too close to me or looking at me a certain way or for too long.i dont like too much interaction or attention been drawn to me.the only time im happy anywhere outside is if i go where theres no people or very few...love nature walks and foraging things like that.and i lost my children to forced adoption 10 year ago and that finished me off really.since then ive been stuck in limbo waiting for them to hopefully come home.and obviously if anything bad happens like for example this pandemic or i see something on the news near where they live my mind goes mental wondering if they are safe...if they are warm enough in winter.cool enough in winter etc my mind just never switches off.im the same as you i cant take pills none have ever helped whatsoever and still waiting for therapy which i doubt would even help but i do feel slightly better now i know that there is so many people out there just like u.i do feel there is some good in the world but we do often struggle to find it.im stubborn though and just keep holding on for that little breakthrough in life surely its not that far away
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    @diane01 @thatsmyname How are you doing today?  I hope things have got better for you both but if not, let us know how you are feeling so we can help  <3
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  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    edited February 26
    @diane01 @thatsmyname

    I realise you are both going through a difficult time at the minute and wanted to point you in the direction of mental health support organisations should you need them.  If you find your mood worsening and want to talk, please contact:
    And it goes without saying to call 999 and ask for an ambulance if things feel overwhelming and unsafe.  It'd be lovely to hear from you both so do drop us a comment whenever you can.

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  • diane01diane01 Member Posts: 45 Connected
    @thatsmyname
    So Sorry for late reply aw u've had a rough ride its horrible learning to live with these health issues & i can relate to waiting on a break thru i'm hoping & praying for the day people often ask well what do u enjoy what helps u relax what benefits u hard this question when ur on edge & finding everything difficult to over come or combat..the things i used to enjoy i cant do anymore now i have to rebuild myself & find something that does..i'm glad that nature walks do help you in some ways they do sometimes clear the head & take you mind of things for a short time u seem lovely & ur stronger than u think i kno that by reading ur post xx
  • thatsmynamethatsmyname Member Posts: 52 Connected
    diane01 and Cher_Scope thankyou for asking how im doing i dont often get asked not even by family! So that feels nice thankyou.things have improved slightly although i havent yet moved as houses are been taken really quickly.but i used my backdate to get things i needed to improve on certain things which affect me mentally...like my first ever tumble dryer and a new bed! So sleep has improved.i also bought myself a sizziz bigshot machine so now i can craft almost anything.and i bought a camp bed for my little neice so she has stayed at mine past 2 weekends! This helps my mental health because she enjoys it and we can learn craft skills together now.she likes nature walks too so we have fun.i hadnt had my neice for so long because i couldnt afford those things.im going to attempt going out and planting flowers today but this is a bit scary at the moment as there was a savage dog attack out there last week.my friends dog and husband both needed emergency surgery and the dog has been left with the owner! These things happen daily on my street its bad.i do still need to move but things may not be as strained now i guess...i hope things improve for you...it can but it does happen slowly.and money cant solve all issues so i know that i will still have to fight through and so will you..we all will.but at least if you fight you have more chance of succeeding.dont give in because you deserve a nice life and to be happy.nobody asks for these things to happen to us and its nice to know that people like us will reach out and support each other as much as we can! If you ever feel down you can always speak to someone...and you most certainly are not alone in the world. 
  • diane01diane01 Member Posts: 45 Connected
    I'm glad to hear that things are slightly improving for u & ur looking forward thats a really positive start hope these small effective steps  continue for u..wishing u all best & good luck with flowering..wish i could be more help today but been on a downer with my health xx
  • diane01diane01 Member Posts: 45 Connected
    @Cher_Scope
    Hi do you kno any fnd helplines that i can phone ?
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    edited March 1
    @diane01 - I'll certainly be able to find one for you I'm sure!  I listed some mental health ones in a previous comment above, but is it a different topic you want to speak to someone about?  Scope have a telephone helpline that you can contact on:
    Phone: 0808 800 3333.
    Textphone: dial 18001 then 0808 800 3333.
    Calls are free from UK landlines and mobiles.
    Email: [email protected]
    Opening times - Monday to Friday, 9am to 6pm. Saturday and Sunday, 10am to 6pm. And most bank holidays.
    If it's in relation to something else just let me know :) 

    @thatsmyname I'm glad things are more positive for you.  Crafting and nature walks sound right up my street and very relaxing.  How did you get on planting your flowers?
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  • thatsmynamethatsmyname Member Posts: 52 Connected
    Cher_Scope we planted some bulbs...lilies and tulips but then it got a bit chilly so went in and made mothers day cards☺
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    @thatsmyname Aww that sounds like a lovely time.  We just need Spring to officially begin and that sun to come out and make them bloom!  I'm glad you had fun :) 
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  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Posts: 3,161

    Scope community team

    Cher_Scope we planted some bulbs...lilies and tulips but then it got a bit chilly so went in and made mothers day cards☺
    Hi @thatsmyname

    Just wanted to check in to ask how have you been lately?
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  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Posts: 3,161

    Scope community team

    Hi @diane01

    I just wanted to check in to ask how you are at the minute? 
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  • diane01diane01 Member Posts: 45 Connected
    @Ross_Scope
    Hi been horrible but finally got a neurologist appointment sometime in may it will be just feels miles away for me while feeling so ill in mean time dont think the dr realises how ill i am 
    & doesnt help that had to chases up appointments that keep getting cancelled due to covid then u.c on my back to just feeling like i dont need all this worry while I'm trying to cope with these health issues
  • diane01diane01 Member Posts: 45 Connected
    @Cher_Scope
    Did you find any number that support of fnd ?

  • Tori_ScopeTori_Scope Posts: 4,010

    Scope community team

    Can I just confirm that you mean functional neurological disorder @diane01

    If so, here are a few ideas:
    It looks as though FND Action are currently working on a page where you'll be able to search for local organisations and resources close to you that could help, so I think that'd be worth bookmarking. 

    I hope some of these might be useful? We'll keep an eye out for any others :)
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  • tjlconttjlcont Member Posts: 1 Listener
    edited March 13

    What is this thread about?

    We realise these are particularly difficult times for all who visit Scope’s online community.  The impact of covid-19 has been far reaching, not least emotionally, as we all cope and ‘muddle through’ each day the best we can.   

    As a means of support, the Community Team have compiled a list of resources on this thread to help with any feelings of isolation, stress, and low mood you might be experiencing.  These are not intended to substitute professional help and we recommend contacting your GP if troubling feelings persist.  Equally, should you ever believe your welfare is in danger, make sure to call 999 and ask for the relevant emergency services.

    This list is not exhaustive and will be added to regularly so please do keep checking back.  Also, if our lovely members have any other helpful links or ideas, feel free to drop them in the comments section below.  

    As ever, if you want to talk about your individual situation - we are here to listen.  Don't be afraid to make a post and ask for help.

    General coronavirus support

    Mental health

    Apps

    Exercise

    Socialising/loneliness

    Education/learning, work, and volunteering

    Money

    Parenting

    Specific impairments

    Emergency help


    Stay safe everyone and remember we are here to support you though this  <3
    I like to knit so ive turned iit nto a business. Maybe if you can find something that you are passionate about that could take the place of the motoring for the interim, might help. This is something that is beyond our control but everything is subject to change. 
    <moderator removed advertising link>
  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    @tjlcont Thanks for your comment, it is great when you can turn a hobby into a job :) 

    Just to advise - I've removed an advertising link from the bottom of your posts as adverts aren't allowed, as per our community guidelines.  
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  • foxukfoxuk Member Posts: 107 Pioneering
    Can I point out a big downside of turning a hobby into a job - We've run a couple of businesses and two of them progressed from Hobbies. The problem comes when things go bad and you are left without a business and the hobby brings back bad memories.

    A good example of this is a friend of mime who did 28 years in the Army as the regimental carpenter - he even framed pictures for the Queen Mum and made display cases for their regimental museum. He has a job as a technician at a local college and is still there at over 70 (I don't think they can get anyone else who is qualified to work there) He hates doing jobs for private customers - you put your heart and soul into doing a job and all they do is try to find something wrong so they can get a discount or not pay at all. His worst person was a woman who was a neighbour of a friend - he re-hung a door for her and charged £5 as he thought she didn't have much - she was on the phone for weeks because she said he should have re-painted the door and frame - even went to trading standards to report him.

    It doesn't take a lot of bad experiences to turn a hobby job into a pain.
  • SupernanmaSupernanma Member Posts: 29 Connected
    66Mustang said:
    Nice thread idea. I haven’t posted this before because I thought it would attract negative comments / opinions but I think this is hopefully the place where I can do it without judgement

    I am really struggling with not being able to go out for a drive and also struggling to understand why I’m not allowed to do so.

    I have obsessive thoughts which get really bad when I’m stuck in the house - I need to get out the house every day. Luckily we have a dog so I have an “excuse” to go for a walk each day but this often isn’t enough and going for a drive really helps my mental health.

    All I want to do is get in the car, go for a drive without getting out, and come home again.

    - No one will be in the car except people from my household
    - My car is on my drive so I don’t mix with anyone on the way to the car
    - I won’t get out of the car at any point so won’t mix with anyone

    I don’t see how doing this will spread Covid to lots of people but I am following the rules anyway!
    I have felt incredibly isolated over Easter. It might be better now for people to meet with others. My family have all been so busy, going out for walks. I can't do that. I'm waiting for a new hip, and that has triggered my other leg, that was damaged by back surgery. So no one invites me out. Like you I have a car, but I just don't see the point of driving around without a purpose at the end. Right now I'm having thoughts that what the hell is the point of life? I am at the point that even though I could go out... I don't.  I've had enough of Covid, bad hips, no purpose.  You are allowed to go out in your car to keep it running, but not going in and out of different counties I guess. If you have the will go for it. 
  • Ross_ScopeRoss_Scope Posts: 3,161

    Scope community team

    Hello @Supernanma

    I'm sorry to read that you've felt isolated and lonely lately, I'm sure that many others will be able to empathise with how you feel. I wonder if you could drive with your family to a scenic route nearby and enjoy it from the comfort of your car (if mobility is an issue for you right now)?  I know it's not the same, but there's the chance there to at least enjoy being somewhere different and getting some fresher air. 

    Have your family / friends arranged any video calls so that you can get involved from your home? Again, I know it's not the same as going out yourself but it's certainly a valuable option to have during these times.

    Do you know when you might get the new hip? Hopefully that can happen sooner rather than later, it seems as though that would be a huge relief for you.

    It's a shame to read that you're "having thoughts that what the hell is the point of life?" but I understand that your isolation is getting you down at the minute, again I think it's a common feeling amonst many people right now. Do you have coping techniques in place to effectively manage your mental health? 

    I'm not sure if it's something you have to battle on a regular basis, but if you feel as though your mental health is becoming difficult to manage you might want to speak with your GP to see if any support could be put in place for you. Alternatively, if you just want to chat with someone, you could always contact Samaritans on 116 123, or you could give our helpline a call and speak with one of the lovely team.

    I do hope as well that being on the community and interacting with other members will help you feel better.
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  • Caz_ScopeCaz_Scope Posts: 548

    Scope community team

    edited April 7
    Morning @Supernanma

    I just wanted to drop by and say hello - see how you're getting on today?

    Like @Ross_Scope has said, we're really sorry to hear that you've been feeling isolated lately. Have you managed to have a look at his post at all? I just wondered if there were any suggestions on there that you thought you might fancy having a go at? I quite like the first one on there - having a drive out somewhere nice, or even somewhere that there's just a few more people and it's a bit livelier - and enjoying things from the comfort of my own car. 

    They do say that a change is as good as a rest - and I know that a change of scenery can work wonders for me, particularly if the weather's good and the sun's shining :)

    Anyway, do keep in touch with us all. Let us know if you venture out. Or if not, please do call by anytime, just for a chat!
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  • Cher_ScopeCher_Scope Posts: 3,334

    Scope community team

    Hi @Supernanma

    How's it going?  I hope you're keeping well but please do let us know if you need any support  <3

    I hope you have a nice Tuesday, speak soon!
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