Coping with stress, low mood and isolation – a support thread

thatsmyname

m_burrell82 sorry i think you may have misunderstood what i meant there...i was referring to google drive or maps where you can go places remotely not physically.i know its not the same as actually going to these places but if you suffer from agoraphobia its a good way to view places you love from the comfort of your home! Give it a try...i visited places ive lived and used to enjoy going to etc...

1119082

okay 

m_burrell82

@thatsmyname  Sure- that's what you can do during this crisis and other times. After this crisis though, which I hope wont be long, some of us can all use that to get out there, live our lives once more. Some of the things I will value. Go somewhere, eat at a Bar or Restaurant, Maybe go away somewhere and stay at a Hotel or somewhere. I appreciate that you might have problems with that, but some of us so need for this nightmare to be over so we can get back out there again. My Mental Health issues need someone to help me with this physical loneliness.  

m_burrell82

Actually  what's coming up can bring sadness to those who have had bad luck with relationships - and actually could have badly done with some luck- Valentines Day - but it's something I celebrate as any festival. At one time I acquired a LGBT History Month flag (even though I am not gay myself), so that gives me an excuse to keep Valentines Day stuff out the whole month. A message I've just sent out semi-anonymously on meetup.com to a Board Game meetup, not running at these times. On that site I have my account and two fake accounts, but please don't tell anyone. I'm sure they would know by now it is really me though from this fake account. I'm hoping a lady would also know that I'm referring to her. So I'm doing that plus the usual stuff I do on different web-sites to at last connect with someone.

Cher_Alumni

@m_burrell82 I know Valentines can be a tricky time of the year for many people but expanding the celebration to love shared between friends and family makes it a time for us all Great idea about the LGBT flag too.  

When you say that you have two fake accounts on the meetup.com website, is this for any reason?  There's no judgement here but you are a lovely person as your authentic self, so if this is something you're struggling with maybe think about keeping just the one genuine account?  

m_burrell82

@Cher_Scope  Just helps me to connect with all that I'm interested in. For example, the world of Live Drawings, which connects with stuff I have gone to. I'm not going to go to a Live Drawing session though, because I can't draw very well. 

bonnielassie

Hi everybody- I'm really struggling at the moment. I've found lockdown bad remove but then the totally unexpected happened and I caught covid. I was very lucky I know - I've lived to tell the tale which is a great deal better than too many people. When I had covid I had to isolate from the rest of the household. This meant my living in one room with an ensuite shower. My husband put trays of food outside my room which I collected, wearing a mask. When I finished my meal I sanitised the tray and put it outside the door to be collected by my husband. All this seemed fine at first but I realised I was getting more and more depressed and anxious. I was worried the symptoms would worsen and I could die. I felt like a kidnapped person the way I was living in one room. I've found it so hard to shake off. I was in there for almost a fortnight. My disability of spinal stenosis and two strokes meant that I stiffened up as I lay in bed and became more painful. Then we were having some work done on the house but the men refused to come in unless I was moved further away so I had to move to an attic room. I can't tell you how bad this felt. Anyway I was feeling bad enough before so this happened as I have had osteoporosis diagnosed on top of my other disabilities and feel that if another negative thing happens to me I'll lose it. My husband has been trying to find me a rescue dog to keep me company and for me to love, but it seems impossible at the moment as a lot of the Kennels have closed down even if only temporarily.
Thanks for listening

thatsmyname

bonnielassie the negative things that are thrown at us in life are sent to test you...you probably felt at the time that you couldnt take any more but then you did and you survived it! Guess what? You will probably survive a lot more things before you finally get some much deserved peace! All you can do is focus on those positives you mentioned, like finding a furry friend! Even though things are slow moving at the moment you can still set the ball rolling...why dont you start online shopping for all the items your new friend will need when he or she finally arrives like dog bed bowls toys etc....because at the end of the day you will need these things so it will give you something positive to focus on until it can happen...not long now and things will brighten up.keep your chin up because you are clearly a strong lady you probably just dont know it yet!  

diane01

So i really Missing the old me & feeling u've lost connections that u once had with people i.e friends due to a health condition so many people will say they understand what ur going thru but do they?..i've had the chin up ur stronger than u look but deep down u kno ur like a lost child inside nice to hear kind words no doubt it is but once ur lost in place that ur mind takes u daily nice words r just words i've neva been nasty or negative person been the happy go lucky type all my life but then u start to wonder if for a 2nd life will eva look normal again!..not just covid & lockdown is here but because u lose faith, hope that normal can ever regain itself when u have a health condition! 

thatsmyname

diane01 having a health condition doesnt mean your life is no longer normal....just different.you probably are coping but dont feel as though you are which is the same for a lot of us.i do understand what you mean i feel the same daily! But bottom line is tomorrow is another day and so forth.just keep pushing you will make it,and dont stop been positive and go lucky because without people like you the world would be a horrible miserable place! You must be a lovely lady because if you werent you wouldnt be so affected by losing your sunny disposition.you wouldnt care at all

diane01

I'm struggling that much that i feel like the above comments nothing i can do to make anything better i've lost interest in anything h8t being like this feeling no good to any1 ???

thatsmyname

diane01 we are not here to be any good to anyone really...its just nice to be able to be...when you are able! You need to look after you at the moment and people will understand that if they love and care for you.i used to always think i could solve other peoples problems or help them with this that and the other...but i made myself that poorly doing it that ive had to just stop and try focus on helping me,because no one else will! 9x out of ten i dont get treat how i treat others so i just dont bother now unless its important obviously..i came off social media years ago and that was definitely a big mental health trigger for me.do you not have any hobbies you can do at home? Trying to focus on something you enjoy does help you feel less helpless. Or is there anything you have always wanted to try doing at home?

diane01

Used to do weights & exercise bike & play on wii sports with my kids but so unable to do that because having trouble standing & my brain shuts down leaving me feeling blank easy said than done cant go shopping as one little incident & my nervous system goes mental then my full body shakes trying to do things is a issues really pushed myself loads to try & do a simple thing but just end up unable to carry that task out

thatsmyname

diane01 i do understand that completely...i have agoraphobia and anxiety depression and panic attacks and i know how horrible it feels,but one thing that does keep me going i guess is knowing that me and you did not ask for this and we do try! And cant say dont,but you shouldnt feel bad.the circumstances around us make us feel that way unfortunately but you cant let them feelings beat you down.things do always get better in the end.and i know it doesnt seem that way but it does.

diane01

Ano trying so hard & to stay positive is not one of my strongest point like u the anxiety cracks in & i end up flooding in tears feel like my happy hormone level has been effected somehow by this condition i find it hard taking any kind of meds which dont help my circumstances so i have to suffer with the anxiety by it all daily finding ways to cope regardless is impossible when i'm not handling the out come of this fnd combating something that just taking over the full body & scary how i describe it i feel like I've got flu every day & these symptoms that dont give up for even five mins definitely like a lost scared little girl inside now!..can you tell me ur story did u just get this condition out of the blue ?

thatsmyname

diane01 i feel ive always had my anxiety forever...even as a child.i still cry everyday and cant pinpoint one reason why..ive just never been happy with the world around me mainly other people.ive got so many phobias that im always on high alert if i have to go out and it makes life extremely tiring! Every shopping trip results in a bad panic attack or complete meltdown and these are caused by little things like an old lady cutting in the queue or people standing too close to me or looking at me a certain way or for too long.i dont like too much interaction or attention been drawn to me.the only time im happy anywhere outside is if i go where theres no people or very few...love nature walks and foraging things like that.and i lost my children to forced adoption 10 year ago and that finished me off really.since then ive been stuck in limbo waiting for them to hopefully come home.and obviously if anything bad happens like for example this pandemic or i see something on the news near where they live my mind goes mental wondering if they are safe...if they are warm enough in winter.cool enough in winter etc my mind just never switches off.im the same as you i cant take pills none have ever helped whatsoever and still waiting for therapy which i doubt would even help but i do feel slightly better now i know that there is so many people out there just like u.i do feel there is some good in the world but we do often struggle to find it.im stubborn though and just keep holding on for that little breakthrough in life surely its not that far away

Cher_Alumni

@diane01 @thatsmyname How are you doing today?  I hope things have got better for you both but if not, let us know how you are feeling so we can help 

Cher_Alumni

@diane01 @thatsmyname

I realise you are both going through a difficult time at the minute and wanted to point you in the direction of mental health support organisations should you need them.  If you find your mood worsening and want to talk, please contact:

• The Samaritans on 116123 or by emailing jo@samaritans.org
• SHOUT by texting 'SHOUT' to 85258 to speak to a trained crisis volunteer
• NHS 'Find a local NHS urgent mental health helpline'

And it goes without saying to call 999 and ask for an ambulance if things feel overwhelming and unsafe.  It'd be lovely to hear from you both so do drop us a comment whenever you can.

diane01

@thatsmyname
So Sorry for late reply aw u've had a rough ride its horrible learning to live with these health issues & i can relate to waiting on a break thru i'm hoping & praying for the day people often ask well what do u enjoy what helps u relax what benefits u hard this question when ur on edge & finding everything difficult to over come or combat..the things i used to enjoy i cant do anymore now i have to rebuild myself & find something that does..i'm glad that nature walks do help you in some ways they do sometimes clear the head & take you mind of things for a short time u seem lovely & ur stronger than u think i kno that by reading ur post xx

thatsmyname

diane01 and Cher_Scope thankyou for asking how im doing i dont often get asked not even by family! So that feels nice thankyou.things have improved slightly although i havent yet moved as houses are been taken really quickly.but i used my backdate to get things i needed to improve on certain things which affect me mentally...like my first ever tumble dryer and a new bed! So sleep has improved.i also bought myself a sizziz bigshot machine so now i can craft almost anything.and i bought a camp bed for my little neice so she has stayed at mine past 2 weekends! This helps my mental health because she enjoys it and we can learn craft skills together now.she likes nature walks too so we have fun.i hadnt had my neice for so long because i couldnt afford those things.im going to attempt going out and planting flowers today but this is a bit scary at the moment as there was a savage dog attack out there last week.my friends dog and husband both needed emergency surgery and the dog has been left with the owner! These things happen daily on my street its bad.i do still need to move but things may not be as strained now i guess...i hope things improve for you...it can but it does happen slowly.and money cant solve all issues so i know that i will still have to fight through and so will you..we all will.but at least if you fight you have more chance of succeeding.dont give in because you deserve a nice life and to be happy.nobody asks for these things to happen to us and its nice to know that people like us will reach out and support each other as much as we can! If you ever feel down you can always speak to someone...and you most certainly are not alone in the world.