How is your day going?

Groups are a no go for me, always struggled with them for over thirty five years. I’m better in one to one situations. But now I’ve had to decide to cut all friends out due to me always being the one to message. I tried reconnecting through what’s app and social media and ended up having a panic attack.
I’ve got a small six foot section of flags to the left of my front door, got two large whisky barrel planters that I’ve got to plant up.

Living with EUBPD, ADH, ASD, Depression and Anxiety alongside all of the other health conditions is an absolute horror show.

Once I get my flag decorated I’m going to apply for an assistance dog somehow which may help.

living with multiple mental health conditions alongside many physical conditions just makes living day to day an absolute toil. Group activities have long been a no go for me due to me not being able to cope with them. I’m better off in a one to one situation. But I’ve cut off friends due to just getting fed up of being the one to always message. I tried to reconnect with them alongside social media and ended up having a panic attack. I’ve got a small seven foot **** of flags to the left of my front door, gonna just pot up a couple of whisky barrel planters, hopefully they will help a little bit.

Once I’ve got the flat decorated, I’m going to apply for an assistance dog, or somehow adopt a suitable dog and train he or she up.

It’s always been a tough task for me to be in a large group of people or even a small group of people. From early childhood and through school and adult life I’ve tended to just isolate myself in my room, or when I was in boarding school I was happier inside with a mug of tea and a book while others were out having a cigarette.

I did have two mates for over 20 years but in all honesty the last five years I’ve just kind of just gone into my shell, but also recognised that one mate was always ghosting me on social media or another mate would rather talk about himself and what he had been up to despite having depression.

I think things kind of changed more for me when my ex wife dumped me and I volunteered to be admitted to a mental health unit due to wanting to do something (won’t say what) then I asked to go into 24 hour support for 3 months a multi occupancy house for six months. Thankfully I got my own flat last August and have been comfortable and happy where I am now.

I keep looking at holidays and insurance but have had to have a word with myself about it.

I’ve looked at the bigger picture and decided, right get the inside of the flat decorated, make it my own at last. Alongside that get my planters and other bits sorted outside the flat.

The bugbear and thorn in my side is my Stairs 😤 when I moved in last year I knew already they were broke, but it’s turned into a by far bigger headache than I thought. The entire staircase has to be replaced!

To do this, they have to take the stairlift out and store it in my living room, then the staircase has to be ripped out, new one go in, then my carpets can go down and then the stairlift can be put back in.

I have had two diazepam before I left home, having a wash and a shave was stressful, even putting the old Doc’s on. Now on the Bus listening to Saxon 🤘

Just need something to look forward to, which I’m going to put a pin in a dog at some point.

I’m nervous about tomorrow as I’ve got the fire brigade coming to have a look at the flat for trip hazards and fire safety to.

I still have in the old brain wanting to go to a concert and comedy show, stuff I’ve done in the past.